Brain Damaged Abortion Liar Herschel Walker Will Bring Jesus Back To Senate, And Other Hot Republican Takes!

Here comes the redemption story.

Try to follow the bouncing ball here, but we think thrice-married adulterous leaver of sick wives Newt Gingrich is saying here that lying brain damaged liar Herschel Walker will bring Jesus to the Senate, by replacing actual beloved pastor Raphael Warnock, who didn't pay for any abortions while he wasn't busy abandoning his family.

NEWT! Newt Gingrich Committed Adultery Because America Made Him Horny 

Is that what Newticles the Decaying Trash Clown is saying here, or are we misinterpreting?

“Gingrich: I think Walker is the most important Senate candidate in the country because he’ll do more to change the Senate… by his deep commitment to Christ. He had a lot of concussions..”

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1664932783 

Sure, you betcha. Raphael Warnock is by all accounts a wonderful man, who used to be the senior pastor of Martin Luther King Jr.'s church. Herschel Walker, a congenital liar with formerly secret children, reportedly held a gun to his ex-wife's head more than once and threatened to blow her brains out.

LIAR! Does Herschel Walker Lie To His Own Campaign? You Betcha! Any More Secret Kids? You Never Know! 

FORMERLY SECRET! Herschel Walker Is World’s Greatest Dad With Secret Son He Never Sees 

And now here come all the Republicans to tell us why, on top of all that, it's fine that their dear sweet brain damaged Herschel Walker paid for at least one secret abortion, while pretending he's a conservative family man who believes all abortions should be banned.

SECRET ABORTIONS! So What's New With Herschel Walker? 

Of course, Carnegie Mellon professor Uju Anya went ahead and took care of explaining why Republicans are fine with it, so we are not sure if we should even finish writing this post, the mic has been dropped so hard:

“Herschel Walker can perform daily abortions on his kitchen table and beat ten wives and fifteen baby mamas in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot. He will not lose a single Republican vote as long as he keeps serving his purpose putting a Black face on white supremacy.”

— Uju Anya (@Uju Anya) 1664883767 

Yeah, the rest of this post is just details. Oh, and also the redemption story, because Republicans are so fucking crazy for a redemption story, they just cum everywhere whenever they hear one.

In fact, let's have a video about the redemption story right now. It's Walker this morning on "Fox & Friends," and he is decidedly not saying he is going to sue the Daily Beast for saying he's a man who writes "abortions" in the memo lines of his checks. That was yesterday's message. This is today's message.

In response to a question from Brian Kilmeade about why Herschel's son Christian Walker is out there saying his dad is a fucking piece of shit, Walker said this word salad that's probably currently being decoded by teams of neurologists all over the globe, but the end of it is definitely the redemption story:

“Asked why his son Christian has come out against him, Senate candidate Herschel Walker says, nonsensically, "The damage he's doing, he's letting people know that the left will do whatever they can to win this seat, and I told you when I got in this race I'm gonna win this seat."”

— The Recount (@The Recount) 1664975880 

HERSCHEL: Well, the damage he's doing, he's letting people know that the Left will do whatever they can to win this seat, and I told him when I got in this race, I'm gonna win this seat. People see someone sitting here in front of you right now that's been redeemed, and I want America to know, I'm living proof that you can make mistakes and get up and keep going forward but you can only do it in this country right here, and you can only do it if we get this election correct this coming November.

Yeah, buddy! Put it on a bumper sticker.

So this is where we are. The Republicans are standing by their man, and they're ready to attack anybody who stands in his way, including his son.

Last night, Sean Hannity baselessly insinuated that Raphael Warnock is somehow dealing with the "same" kind of "family conflict" as Walker is. What does that mean? Who knows, Hannity is just saying it.

GOP Senator Rick Scott, who chairs the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC), has voiced support,   claiming that this is part of the Democratic "smear machine" and that bitches be lyin'. Other Republican groups have done the same. Mallory Carroll from the anti-abortion Women Speak Out PAC said Walker denied it so that's good enough for them.

Nobody would ever expect secret abortion allegations or adultery allegations to ruffle Donald Trump's feathers, and they aren't. He's whining that Herschel Walker is being attacked by the "Fake News Media" and the "Democrats." All of these defenses are weird ways to refer to Walker's wingnut son Christian. Trump also, similarly to Hannity, suggested there are many terrible things about Warnock, and that he, Donald Trump, is being very decent by not discussing them.

And now Politico is reporting that Georgia Republicans knew months ago about an abortion allegation and told Walker's people, who didn't seem shocked. Meanwhile Roger Sollenberger, who broke the story in the Daily Beast, told Chris Hayes last night he's not even sure that's the same abortion allegation as the one in his story. Which leads us to wonder if this might be like earlier in the summer, when we kept having to adjust our count upwards when we'd find out about a new secret Herschel Walker offspring.

Speaking of Just One Abortion, here's Dana Loesch:  

“IF true, Walker paid for one broad's abortion compared to Warnock who wants your tax dollars to pay for EVERY broad's abortion-as-birth control with no limitations. This isn't a difficult choice and conservatives shouldn't look to the left to validate their vote.”

— Dana Loesch (@Dana Loesch) 1664904069 

 She also said she doesn't care if Walker "paid to abort endangered baby eagles," because she just wants the Senate.

By the way, vile MAGA trolls are also attacking Christian Walker somehow as a tool of the Left, but we don't have room for all that in this post. Reminder: Christian Walker is garbage. Find somebody more worthy of feeling sorry for.

For the record, Herschel Walker reportedly had a record fundraising day yesterday. Please refer to the tweet above from Uju Anya and the thing about the redemption story, and do not for one second think this election is in the bag for Raphael Warnock. It's time to fight for him harder than ever.

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