How many times have you thought to yourself this year, “Gee, if only I could land me a dreamy, whale-beheading, anti-vaccine Trump surrogate with brain worms who will cheat on me with a reporter from New York magazine?” For me, the answer to that question is “Literally zero times at all, and negative times if that is possible,” but you may be different! If so, Cheryl Hines has some great advice for you, which she helpfully shared with Us Magazine in an article published over the weekend.
This comes after a month or so of Hines flashing her wedding-ring-free finger at the paparazzi and letting reports of a definitely impending divorce fly around unchecked.
“There has to be a connection,” Hines said to Us at the Groundlings 50th Anniversary Event in Los Angeles on Saturday. “There’s, like, a connection that you look at your husband or your partner and all the crazy going on around you, or you look and you check in and it’s like, ‘OK. It’s going to be OK. We’re going to move through this moment.’ And, you know, a lot of times it’s funny and you can lean over and say, ‘This is crazy balls,’ and have a moment together and then hold your head up high and go to the next thing.”
Yes, it is indeed crazy balls.
Now, if she and her husband RFK Jr. have an open relationship, that’s fine! That’s up to them. Personally, I’d find stumping for Trump a lot more unforgivable than sexting Olivia Nuzzi anyway. Also all of the animal carcass weirdness. I’m honestly just more offended that she is implying that the “crazy balls” is happening around them rather than calling from inside the house.
“When I met Bobby, I said, ‘You never wanted to go into politics?’ and he said, ‘No, I feel like I can do more work as an environmental attorney and I don’t have to. I’m not beholden to companies or corporations,” Hines added. “I was like, ‘Great. This is going to be great!’ And then life gives you a left turn, a right turn, however it turns out to be.”
The turn, to be clear, was to the right. Which she acknowledged with a hefty helping of word salad.
“People have a lot of feelings about politics, especially in Hollywood, and I don’t know. I mean, so far I feel like it’s OK,” she continued. “I’m OK to have conversations like that with people and, to me, it doesn’t define somebody. To some people it does and it’s like you can’t control it. There’s nothing I can do about it, so I have to let it wash over me.”
Actually, as a person with lots of money and influence, there are things you can do about it! Larry David does things about it, even if sometimes it’s just making Alan Dershowitz feel super uncomfortable on Martha’s Vineyard.
LIKE SO!
That’s not nothing. I’m thinking about it, and I actually think the last time Dersh was even on my radar was when he was complaining that no one on Martha’s Vineyard invites him to parties anymore. Clearly, Larry David was onto something!
Now, don’t think that Us Magazine didn’t address the Olivia Nuzzi situation. It’s a celebrity gossip magazine, after all.
“Lots of emotions with rumors! But, it will all be in my book,” Hines shared when asked about that situation. “I’m writing a book. I’ve been taking notes — serious notes!”
Asked about her family writ large?
“They’re fun. I mean, if I had a boring family it would be tough,” she said. “And I think just trying to embrace the unknown and instead of fighting against it, is sort of trying to embrace it and just say yes to whatever comes your way. Just to let it flow and to find the little moments and not take anything too seriously. Even though I find myself in very serious situations!”
Yeah! Like your husband railing against life-saving vaccines and endorsing Donald Trump — which, may I just say, is a far more serious infraction than, I don’t know, not respecting wood.
I suppose it’s possible that there are people out there who might want Cheryl’s notes and advice, re: love and marriage, on account of the fact that she “landed a Kennedy,” but I don’t know that “landing a Kennedy” has quite the appeal that it once did, barring the occasional New York magazine reporter.
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
The secret to a good marriage is communication. . .
Wife: "Do that thing I like."
Me *uses a coaster*
How many times have you thought to yourself this year, “Gee, if only I could land me a dreamy, whale-beheading..."
"Call me, Ishmael."