Hillary Clinton Flies UFO To House Oversight Committee Pizzagate Hearing
4-D chess thing.
Oh look, it is Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton, first of her name, the original human lint roller for the Right’s bad-faith circular misogyny! She spent the best part of a day behind closed doors on Thursday getting grilled with what she said were repetitive Jeffrey Epstein questions from the Republican-led House Oversight Committee and its chair, Kentucky outhouse varmint James Comer.
A transcript is supposed to be released, but none has been yet. Though before the hearing Hillary released her opening statement, which is transcribed at the end down below. TL;DR: “I don’t know how many times I had to say I did not know Jeffrey Epstein. I never went to his island. I never went to his homes, I never went to his offices.”
And husband Bill is scheduled to testify behind closed doors today too.
Sounds like things with Hillary’s questioning got mighty weird!
It then got, at the end, quite unusual because I started being asked about UFOs and a series of questions about Pizzagate — one of the most vile bogus conspiracy theories that was propagated on the internet — that was serving as the basis of a member’s questions to me.
Ooh, which member, place your bets! The House Oversight Committee also includes Jim Jordan, Nancy Mace, Lauren Boebert, Anna Paulina Luna … could be any one of those. The least accomplished and most disgusting among them have the most acid-in-the-punchbowl theories, because they ain’t got shit on her and never had! She is the ultimate threat to those pedo protectors: a lifetime civil servant do-gooder who probably never even slept with anybody but Bill, a badass who didn’t flinch watching Osama Bin Laden get blasted. She exposes what abuser-enabling underachievers the rest of them are, and they hate it so much. Plus she murdered Vince Foster with her bare hands. JK.
Nancy Mace also reportedly asked Hillary if she had any feelings about “young women” massaging her husband. How feminist, demanding a woman answer for her man’s actions.
Fine, you convinced me, I won’t vote for that hound-dog Bill or his wife ever again! OR that do-nothing Biden, for that matter.
And eeenteresting how none of the Republicans could be assed to attend the questioning of Epstein’s sugardaddy/the evil Beverley Leslie Les Wexner last week, yet they all made time to be there to pepper the lady who has spent her entire life fighting against the violence and trafficking of little girls with their conspiracy theories.
Lauren Boebert was even there busting her bra so hard she took creepshots and sent them to Benny Johnson, which briefly halted the hearing.
Incredible OpSec, however did anyone figure out la culpable es Las Beetleboobs? Did she forget to silence the shutter-click noise on her phone too? (If you’re also wondering what her family has been up to lately, seems her son Tyler, who is still on probation after a multi-count crime spree in ‘23, got cited for child abuse of her toddler grandson ... again. Didn’t JD Vance say good MAGA grannies like Boebert were supposed to be pitching in with childcare? But please, again, whinge to us how no one will think of the children.)
These are the people entrusted with our most precious national secrets, America!
Reminder, Our Lady of a Thousand Republican Sorrows Hillary and her hubby didn’t even have to show, as the former secretary of State and former first lady the Supreme Court would surely have given her Holy Executive privilege to tell James Comer et al. to take a long leap into a short ditch. But rub their hypocrisy in their faces some more, why not, to her it is surely like a gentle massage with La Mer.
And Hillz could have been like the Bushes, husband Bill, the Obamas, or the Bidens and stayed mostly quiet and tucked away in her golden years. But that is not her way! She takes a hike in the woods, goes to Munich to verbally punch some Nazis, then drops by DC to let some weirdos embarrass themselves before going back to Chappaqua to fry up some turkey bacon for Bill’s dinner.
Hillary fun facts: In 1974, she was a member of the Nixon impeachment inquiry staff and advised the House Committee on the Judiciary during the Watergate scandal. Then she fell in love with Bubba at Yale and started her legal career as one of the first two female professors at the University of Arkansas School of Law. She helped start the first rape crisis center in Fayetteville, and co-founded the Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families law clinic. And she worked for Jimmy Carter’s campaign too, and served on the board of the Legal Services Corporation, which was charged with providing legal services for the poor! Which is to say, HDRC went around the block three times before most of us were potty-trained, and Hee Haw James Comer and his pedo-protecting panty-sniffer-type pals do not faze her.
She knows their game. As future- and then- first lady she was a Bad Feminist for standing by her man like Tammy Wynette for not divorcing him while he chased tail around the hills of Arkansas like a rutting razorback, and also a bad tradwife for being a lady lawyer and not grabbing Bill’s porker like a catcher’s mitt before he went off and stuck it someplace else. (NSFW)
And as a candidate she was both dying to death of a secret mystery disease and hacking up her email servers with a sledgehammer to keep Anthony Podesta’s risotto recipe secrets. She knows the game, and it’s positively a bore.
And by the way, if Hillary ever did meet Epstein, it would have been if he attended Trump’s 2005 wedding to Melanija Knavs, or perhaps when Epstein dropped by for a cup of sugar while she was trying to fundraise from neighbor Howard Lutnick. Any potential Epstein ties that might exist all lead directly to Trump, or her husband and dirty bankers trying to get an in with him who Trump wants to protect.
Another reason these Republicans don’t want the Clintons in public. Nothing that comes out makes anything look better for Trump, or them.
Drip drop, little Epstein files!
###
SECRETARY CLINTON’S OPENING STATEMENT TO THE HOUSE OVERSIGHT AND GOVERNMENT REFORM COMMITTEE
FEBRUARY 26, 2026
Mr. Chairman, Ranking Member, Members of the Committee... as a former Senator, I have respect for legislative oversight and I expect its exercise, as do the American people, to be principled and fearless in pursuit of truth and accountability.
As we all know, however, too often Congressional investigations are partisan political theater, which is an abdication of duty and an insult to the American people.
The Committee justified its subpoena to me based on its assumption that I have information regarding the investigations into the criminal activities of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. Let me be as clear as I can. I do not.
As I stated in my sworn declaration on January 13, I had no idea about their criminal activities. I do not recall ever encountering Mr. Epstein. I never flew on his plane or visited his island, homes or offices. I have nothing to add to that.
Like every decent person, I have been horrified by what we have learned about their crimes. It’s unfathomable that Mr. Epstein initially got a slap on the wrist in 2008, which allowed him to continue his predatory practices for another decade.
Mr. Chairman, your investigation is supposed to be assessing the federal government’s handling of the investigations and prosecutions of Epstein and his crimes. You subpoenaed eight law enforcement officials, all of whom ran the Department of Justice or directed the FBI when Epstein’s crimes were investigated and prosecuted. Of those eight, only one appeared before the Committee. Five of the six former attorneys general were allowed to submit brief statements stating they had no information to provide.
You have held zero public hearings, refused to allow the media to attend them, including today, despite espousing the need for transparency on dozens of occasions.
You have made little effort to call the people who show up most prominently in the Epstein files. And when you did, not a single Republican Member showed up for Les Wexner’s deposition.
This institutional failure is designed to protect one political party and one public official, rather than to seek truth and justice for the victims and survivors, as well as the public who also want to get to the bottom of this matter. My heart breaks for the survivors. And I am furious on their behalf.
I have spent my life advocating for women and girls. I have worked hard to stop the terrible abuses so many women and girls face here and around the world, including human trafficking, forced labor, and sexual slavery. For too long, these have been largely invisible crimes or not treated as crimes at all. But the survivors are real and they are entitled to better.
In Southeast Asia, I met girls as young as twelve years old who were forced into prostitution and raped repeatedly. Some were dying of AIDS. In Eastern Europe, I met mothers who told me how they lost daughters to trafficking and did not know where to turn. In settings around the world, I met survivors trying to rebuild their lives and help rescue others with little support from people in power, who too often turned a blind eye and a cold shoulder.
If you are new to this issue, let me tell you: Jeffrey Epstein was a heinous individual, but he’s far from alone. This is not a one-off tabloid sensation or a political scandal. It’s a global scourge with an unimaginable human toll.
My work combatting sex trafficking goes back to my days as First Lady. I worked to pass the first federal legislation against trafficking and was proud that my husband signed the Trafficking Victims Protection Act, which increased support for survivors and gave prosecutors better tools for going after traffickers.
As Secretary of State, I appointed a former federal prosecutor, Lou CdeBaca, to ramp up our global antitrafficking efforts. I oversaw nearly 170 anti-trafficking programs in 70 nations and directly pressed foreign leaders to crack down on trafficking networks in their countries. Every year we published a global report to shine a light on abuses. The findings of those reports triggered sanctions on countries failing to make progress, so they became a powerful diplomatic tool to drive concrete action.
I insisted that the United States be included in the report for the first time ever in 2011. Because we must hold ourselves not just to the same standard as the rest of the world but to an even higher one. Sex trafficking and modern slavery should have no place in America. None.
Mr. Chairman, Ranking Member, Members of the Committee... as a former Senator, I have respect for legislative oversight and I expect its exercise, as do the American people, to be principled and fearless in pursuit of truth and accountability.
As we all know, however, too often Congressional investigations are partisan political theater, which is an abdication of duty and an insult to the American people.
The Committee justified its subpoena to me based on its assumption that I have information regarding the investigations into the criminal activities of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. Let me be as clear as I can. I do not.
As I stated in my sworn declaration on January 13, I had no idea about their criminal activities. I do not recall ever encountering Mr. Epstein. I never flew on his plane or visited his island, homes or offices. I have nothing to add to that.
Like every decent person, I have been horrified by what we have learned about their crimes. It’s unfathomable that Mr. Epstein initially got a slap on the wrist in 2008, which allowed him to continue his predatory practices for another decade.
Mr. Chairman, your investigation is supposed to be assessing the federal government’s handling of the investigations and prosecutions of Epstein and his crimes. You subpoenaed eight law enforcement officials, all of whom ran the Department of Justice or directed the FBI when Epstein’s crimes were investigated and prosecuted. Of those eight, only one appeared before the Committee. Five of the six former attorneys general were allowed to submit brief statements stating they had no information to provide.
You have held zero public hearings, refused to allow the media to attend them, including today, despite espousing the need for transparency on dozens of occasions.
You have made little effort to call the people who show up most prominently in the Epstein files. And when you did, not a single Republican Member showed up for Les Wexner’s deposition.
But that’s not happening.
Instead, you have compelled me to testify, fully aware that I have no knowledge that would assist your investigation, in order to distract attention from President Trump’s actions and to cover them up despite legitimate calls for answers.
If this Committee is serious about learning the truth about Epstein’s trafficking crimes, it would not rely on press gaggles to get answers from our current president on his involvement; it would ask him directly under oath about the tens of thousands of times he shows up in the Epstein files.
If the majority was serious, it would not waste time on fishing expeditions. There is too much that needs to be done.
What is being held back? Who is being protected? And why the cover-up?
My challenge to you, Mr. Chairman, Members of the Committee, is the same challenge I put to myself throughout my long service to this nation. How to be worthy of the trust the American people have given you. They expect statesmanship, not gamesmanship. Leading, not grandstanding. They expect you to use your power to get to the truth and to do more to help survivors of Epstein’s crimes as well as the millions more who are victims of sex trafficking.
[Politico]
God, I love her. 💪♥️
“The House Oversight Committee also includes Jim Jordan, Nancy Mace, Lauren Boebert, Anna Paulina Luna”
Wow, they really did pack all the fucking lunatics on the committee.
That’s fine, it’s just the HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE, at least it’s not the Commemorative Coin and Stamp Approval Committee.