Him Tarzan. Him Lose.

MAGAverse bully loses fight in Toronto and wouldn't you know it, RIGGED and STOLLEN!

A high-profile Trump supporter was viciously beaten in front of a cheering crowd in Canada last week. Nobody called the cops though, and it turns out more than just a few of them were actually rooting for the dumb bastard.

MAGA MMA middleweight Sean “Tarzan” Strickland lost his championship belt to South African underdog Dricus du Plessis by split decision in the main event at UFC 297 held at Toronto's Scotiabank Arena, the first time the multi-billion dollar international cockfighting ring has stopped into Canada's largest city since 2018.

Strickland, who looks a bit like if Ted Cruz and a bullet somehow made a baby, is best known outside the octagon as one of the public figures very upset last year about Bud Light putting trans TikTok tycoon Dylan Mulvaney on one (literally one, which they sent to her) of their beer cans.

The 32-year-old, sporting a shirt with the slogan “a woman in every kitchen, a gun in every hand,” flew into an expletive-filled rage when asked by a reporter at a pre-fight press conference about his history of expressing awful opinions, including once saying he would've “failed as a man” if he had a gay son.

Things escalated quickly, with Tarzan going ape on the offending journalist as well as his female co-headliners for being less tough than him and even Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for good measure while managing to also potentially piss off the entire country by suggesting Canadians suck at hockey.

"They gave us hockey and they're not even good at it," said Strickland, a professional athlete whose hometown NHL team, the Vegas Golden Knights, has the most Canadian players of any team in the league, including captain Mark Stone and starting goaltender Adin Hill.

Just saying.

Leaving the important question of how a woman could possibly get any kitchen work done while carrying a gun in each hand left unanswered, Strickland promptly went on to lose his king-of-the-jungle status earned four months ago — roughly 13 Scaramuccis — on his first attempt at retaining the belt.

Not unlike how a certain previous president fared on his first title defense in 2020.

The former champ graciously accepted the defeat and ... just kidding, this is a Trump guy we're talking here so naturally he whined he DID TOO win the fight due to the ref missing an illegal headbutt causing a boo-boo above his eye.

“I didn't take the cowards [sic] way out and tell the doctor I couldn't see and got [sic] a no contest,” a stricken Strickland wrote on Instagram shortly afterwards. “The only reason why you took a round from me is because I couldn't see. I won that fight, the world knows I won that fight.”

UFC 297 was also notable for the conspicuous absence of color commentator Joe Rogan, who boycotted the fisticuff franchise's latest installment due to his personal contempt for Trudeau and instead offered his input live on his podcast. Rogan appeared cheered by the chants of “Fuck Trudeau” that erupted from the sold-out crowd shortly before the main event, which has become the de facto equivalent of “Lock Her Up!” amongst Canada's deplorables.

“Canada, get your shit together,” Rogan told his millions of listeners. “Come back. Come back to what you used to be.”

While there are many perfectly valid reasons to dislike Justin Trudeau, it's kinda hilarious fight fans hate him so much since the guy actually knows how to handle himself. Trudeau took judo lessons from his father as a child and picked up boxing in his twenties. He even once worked as a bouncer at a nightclub in Whistler during his ski bum phase, and his big political coming out party was a charity boxing match against Conservative senator Patrick Brazeau back in 2012.

At the time Trudeau was a lowly Liberal MP for a Montreal riding and he clearly wanted to do something about the perception he was just some Little Lord Fauntleroy type born with a silver spoon up his ass who expected to cash in on his famous surname like a common Bush. The much beefier Brazeau, a military veteran and Algonquin First Nation member, was widely expected to beat the shit out of him but Trudeau wore the younger guy down and won by TKO in the third round.

The spectacle of a wealthy white guy knocking an Indigenous person senseless en route to ruling the country was both figuratively and literally on-the-nose as a metaphor for the Canadian identity, but it worked and he became leader of the Liberal party shortly afterward.

This could all be Matthew Perry's fault.

The late Friends star revealed in his recent memoir he physically bullied Trudeau when they were kids together in Ottawa. It was a weird flex given he was three years older — not quite as weird as throwing shade at Keanu Reeves but let's not speak ill of the dead — although understandable given he felt he was the neglected child of a single mother too busy with her stressful job as Trudeau's father's press secretary to take proper care of him. Suzanne Perry was basically the C.J. Cregg to Trudeau Sr.'s Jed Bartlet, and it's easy to imagine why he would take out his frustration on his mother's boss's kid, and also why it might've inspired young Justin to level up in the self-defense department.

Trudeau's critics like to portray him as some sort of iron-fisted dictator but there aren't too many brutal strongmen around the world today who have “got beaten up by Chandler Bing” in their origin story. Could anything be more humiliating?

Actually yes. There's also losing a fight to Andy Dick. Just ask Joe Rogan.