Holy Pope Drama!
The President is fighting the Pope, because 2026.
Donald Trump is fighting with everyone these days. He’s fighting Iran, he’s fighting with several of his former acolytes, and now he’s fighting with the actual Pope, who just really hurt his feelings by not wanting him to bomb Iran or be shitty to immigrants. And that’s not allowed!
Over the weekend, Trump issued a stream-of-consciousness missive on his Truth Social site (which the Pope would later point out is rather ironically titled), accusing Pope Leo XIV of loving crime and nuclear weapons, which I think we can safely assume is not the case.
He wrote:
Pope Leo is WEAK on Crime, and terrible for Foreign Policy. He talks about “fear” of the Trump Administration, but doesn’t mention the FEAR that the Catholic Church, and all other Christian Organizations, had during COVID when they were arresting priests, ministers, and everybody else, for holding Church Services, even when going outside, and being ten and even twenty feet apart. I like his brother Louis much better than I like him, because Louis is all MAGA. He gets it, and Leo doesn’t! I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s OK for Iran to have a Nuclear Weapon. I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s terrible that America attacked Venezuela, a Country that was sending massive amounts of Drugs into the United States and, even worse, emptying their prisons, including murderers, drug dealers, and killers, into our Country. And I don’t want a Pope who criticizes the President of the United States because I’m doing exactly what I was elected, IN A LANDSLIDE, to do, setting Record Low Numbers in Crime, and creating the Greatest Stock Market in History. Leo should be thankful because, as everyone knows, he was a shocking surprise. He wasn’t on any list to be Pope, and was only put there by the Church because he was an American, and they thought that would be the best way to deal with President Donald J. Trump. If I wasn’t in the White House, Leo wouldn’t be in the Vatican. Unfortunately, Leo’s Weak on Crime, Weak on Nuclear Weapons, does not sit well with me, nor does the fact that he meets with Obama Sympathizers like David Axelrod, a LOSER from the Left, who is one of those who wanted churchgoers and clerics to be arrested. Leo should get his act together as Pope, use Common Sense, stop catering to the Radical Left, and focus on being a Great Pope, not a Politician. It’s hurting him very badly and, more importantly, it’s hurting the Catholic Church! President DONALD J. TRUMP
I love that it ends with concern for how this is somehow hurting the Pope, and also hurting the Catholic Church, which just sentences before he accused of only appointing him to be Pope in order to “deal with President Donald J. Trump.” I should point out that this notion is probably pretty offensive to Catholics, as he’s basically saying that the Cardinals were either not guided by the Holy Spirit in their selection of the next Pope, or that the Holy Spirit did a bad job at guiding them.
Pope Leo has since, as they say, “clapped back” (always wanted to use “clapped back” in conjunction with the Pope and literally no one else ever) at Trump, telling reporters on his flight to Algeria that “I have no fear, neither of the Trump administration nor of speaking out loudly about the message of the Gospel.” When asked about Trump’s comments on Truth Social, he said: “It’s ironic — the name of the site itself. Say no more.”
This all seems to have started when the Pope, during his Palm Sunday address, seemed to respond to some comments from Pete Hegseth about how Americans should pray for “overwhelming violence” against America’s enemies, Iran in particular, in the name of Jesus Christ. For some reason, he seemed to think it was bad to pray to Jesus for violence against other people. So weird!
“This is our God: Jesus, king of peace, who rejects war, whom no one can use to justify war,” he said. “He does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, but rejects them.”
To be fair, a whole lot of people have used God and Jesus to justify war. Certainly the Crusades, the 30 Years War, the 80 Years War, some other post-Reformation stuff, but probably also most wars on some level or another. They’ve also used the Bible to justify slavery, most forms of demographic-based hate, and practically every other bad thing on earth. (Though, on the other hand, a lot of Catholics have also been conscientious objectors — it’s a real grab bag!)
But our man Leo isn’t so into that! He even threw in a quote from the Bible as proof, stating “‘Even though you make many prayers, I will not listen: your hands are full of blood.’”
To be fair, it would be hard to listen to anyone with hands full of blood. At best it would be incredibly distracting.
Hegseth, by the way, just recently invited his Pastor, Doug Wilson, to speak at the Pentagon not too long after the guy explained that, in his ideal America, not only would Muslims be barred from holding public calls to prayer, but Catholics would be banned from public displays of the parts of Catholicism he considers to be “idolatry.” Like, he would allow them to have church bells, but would specifically want a ban on May Processions (little parades they have in May, in which people walk around with a statue of Mary covered in flowers and what have you) and other public displays of honoring Mary or any of the saints. Not too surprising, given that he hates women and thinks we shouldn’t be allowed to vote, either.
Pope Leo has also criticized Trump more directly, saying last week that his threat to destroy Iranian civilization was “totally unacceptable” and a violation of international law, which it very obviously is.
That, by the way, led to a big ol’ Protestant vs. Catholic kerfuffle on the Right, with kooks like The Daily Wire’s Megan Basham suggesting that this is why people didn’t want a Catholic president for so many years.
She wrote, on X the Everything App:
I am not trying to make my Catholic friends, who I love, angry with this statement. But this entire episode is starting to explain to me why so many Americans were concerned about a Catholic president for so long.
I have no interest in Rome trying to dictate American policy. And if it continues to loudly make its opinions heard on our foreign policy, I believe they’re going to find a lot of American Protestants feeling a lot less ecumenical than we have been in the more recent past.
I guess it’s a good thing, then, that no evangelical Protestants ever weigh in on politics or try to dictate our foreign policy or try to use said foreign policy to bring about a literal apocalypse. That would be bad! Though I’m not certain how “ecumenical” it is that, again, one of their main guys thinks Catholics shouldn’t be allowed to have parades or that pretty much everyone I know who grew up in that environment also grew up believing that Catholics practice witchcraft and the Pope is the antichrist.
Trump did win the Catholic vote in the last election — 58 percent of it anyway, which isn’t too surprising when you consider that many Catholics are too preoccupied with abortion and anti-LGBTQ+ nonsense to care about doctrine related to taking care of the poor and not killing people in war or with the death penalty. And yet, Trump’s approval among American Catholics has now dropped below 50 percent with all the Doing War and Hating Immigrants.
Trump has also said, on at least one occasion, that he would like to be Pope — which would make him both the second US American Pope and the first Pope to not be Catholic — so it’s possible there’s also a bit of jealousy going on here. The Pope also has some pretty high approval numbers, with 84 percent of US Catholics saying they like what he is doing, and 57 percent of all Americans saying the same. Trump, meanwhile, is at 39 percent of Americans. That could be a jealousy thing as well, though we’re pretty certain he doesn’t see his real numbers.
Pope Leo has also enjoyed a lot of vocal support from some pretty major voices in the US clergy — including three US cardinals who stopped by 60 Minutes on Sunday night to say they agree with him and what he’s doing (and to condemn Trump for his nonsense).
The president of the US Conference of Catholic Bishops has also condemned Trump’s attack on Pope Leo in an official statement.
“I am disheartened that the president chose to write such disparaging words about the Holy Father,” Archbishop Paul S. Coakley said. “Pope Leo is not his rival; nor is the pope a politician. He is the vicar of Christ who speaks from the truth of the Gospel and for the care of souls.”
Burn? Seems like!
And who else is sticking up for the Pope’s honor today? How about the Iranian president?
On top of all that, the White Sox have decided to expand their White Sox Pope Hat giveaway, due to incredible demand. Honestly, if there is anything that could get me to sit through a White Sox game ever again, it would be the promise of a Pope hat (no shade to the White Sox, just to sports in general). Or Pope shoes! Maybe they will do shoes next.
Meanwhile, it seems like more and more people are burning, or at least tucking away, their Make America Great Again hats — for more or less the same reason the Pope is coming for him. Whoops!
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Swear to God, I cannot write a cocktail strong enough to make all this make sense.
Jeanine Pirro to open mortgage fraud investigation into Leo.