Poor Steven Cheung. Poor Davis Ingle.
Those are the guys in the White House who have the responsibility of responding publicly every time Donald Trump’s fragile feelings get hurt or his sad tailfeathers feel threatened. (This is over and above whatever top-of-the-toilet-bowl complaints Dear Leader has issued on Truth Social, naturally.)
Cheung is of course the one everybody in the building is apparently always worried is going to keel over and die of poor health right in front of them. Presumably you’d have to stay and give a statement, and what if you had lunch plans? Would ruin your whole day.
Davis Ingle, well, we don’t know anything about him really, but we bet he doesn’t like being called “Bingle Wingle” or “Peengus Dingle.” (He does look like a Peengus Dingle.)
Anyway, shit is bad for Trump right now, if you haven’t noticed. He gets weaker by the day, of body, of mind, and of electoral value. He’s ugly and stupid and everybody hates him. Which means that more and more, people are just going out there and hurting Donald Trump’s feelings on purpose, like it’s fun.
There was Chuck Lorre, creator of Two and A Half Men, who recently spent a whole bunch of time at an awards ceremony — he was getting an award! — saying things about how Trump is a “bloated orange piece of shit,” and that he, Chuck Lorre, “wake[s] up every morning to turn on CNN to see if the president of the United States had a heart attack while straining to take a dump.” And that Melania Trump is a “surgically enhanced, cold-hearted Yugoslavian escort who clearly hates her husband.”
So Sprinkle Peener or whatever his name is had to issue the statement on that one. “Chuck Lorre should immediately seek psychiatric help to treat his severe case of Trump Derangement Syndrome that has completely rotted his peanut-sized brain,” said Sprinkle Peener.
And then there was Jack Smith. Oh boy. What did Jack Smith do? More like what did he not do?
Former Special Counsel Jack Smith recently became one of the most famous people in America, and launched a thousand memes, after Missouri dumbass Republican Senator Eric Schmitt used his questioning time during a hearing with Smith to faceplant harder than any senator ever has.
Hot tip: If you’re going to ask a witness “gotcha!” questions that prove undefined, meaningless conspiracy theories, if you’re going to present the smoking gun that they were in Atlanta at an NBA game for the secret purpose of conspiring with Fulton County DA Fani Willis, you should first ensure you have your facts correct. Literally start from the beginning. Right team? Nope. Right league? Nope. Right city? Nope.
And then during that same hearing Jack Smith looked those senators in the eye and said he would prosecute Trump again. “Our investigation developed proof beyond a reasonable doubt that President Trump engaged in serious crimes against our nation,” he told the Senate Judiciary Committee.
And THEN, while Schmitt was probably still off somewhere licking his wounds, and while Donald Trump was spending the weekend declaring himself infallible at rallies no Republican in a close race wants him to do, Jack Smith went to a concert.
Not only did he go to a concert, he went to Tom Morello’s Power to the People concert festival, featuring artists like Bruce Springsteen and Dave Matthews and Joan Baez and more, and Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters — wearing an Iowa Hawkeyes T-shirt, just to be a dick to Eric Schmitt — dedicated “My Hero” to “my new friend Jack.”
Jack Smith, for his part, was wearing a Springsteen “No Kings” T-shirt, which just proves that Jack Smith is RIGGED! against King Trump.
To add insult to injury, Jack Smith showed the whole internet this weekend that in plainclothes, he is exactly the kind of a hot young daddy type of guy you might want to go to a concert with, that he is hosting a gun show, and you may attend:
Here he is walking around like “Oh look at me, I’m Jack Smith, I bought this beer with my own money, which I earned defending the Constitution against that little tyrant Shitler in the White House,” which is probably a treason of some kind:
By the way, you know how we’re always noting how fucking old these ugly MAGA fascists look for their ages? The way Russ Vought is only 50 and Stephen Miller is actually a virginal 16-year-old boy, for example? (Just kidding, he is 41, which is still 159 years younger than the undead vampire he looks like.)
Well, Jack Smith is what 57 looks like, if you’re one of the good guys who likes things like democracy and integrity.
Ohhhhhh, Donald Trump was upset about the T-shirt.
“Deranged Jack Smith is a Crooked Prosecutor!” he shouted on Truth Social, reposting an article about Jack Smith’s T-shirt, and Smith’s continued freedom to have fun.
But clearly that wasn’t the end of the tantrum, because this time, Steven Cheung was the one whose job it was to get artificially angry — not good for his health! — and have a tantrum about Smith.
Love how the gooning creep Cheung RT-ed there is upset that Smith is wearing a “Land of Hopes and Dreams” shirt at the “Power to the People” festival. Like, my man? If those words are upsetting to you, that’s a you problem, not an everybody else problem.
As to Cheung’s whining about how Smith and the rest of us America-lovers are going to go after “innocent Americans” like Trump again, nah, bitch. But we’re definitely gonna go after all the guilty ones. The Biden administration was absolutely nothing compared to what accountability will look like after the fall of MAGA.
And we’ll still look way younger and go to fun concerts and drink beer we bought with our own freedom bucks.
Suck it.
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Poor temu Oddjob :(
Melania Trump is Slovenian, not from Yugoslavia. It's important to know this because Slovenia is a NATO nation, and we can't just send her back there because Slovenia would certainly consider it an act of aggression, and invoke Article 5 of the NATO alliance.