House Republicans Struggle With Whether To Expel Henry Kissinger’s Twin Brother George Santos
If we go around expelling indicted serial fraudsters, would we even have a Congress?
George Santos, an ongoing inspiration to comedians everywhere, remains a sitting member of Congress. After a damning ethics report revealed that he’s, well, George Santos, the freshman House Republican announced he’s not seeking re-election. However, he won’t resign. He probably needs the money, as he can no longer freely scam donors for his Botox and OnlyFans needs.
The House was scheduled to vote this week on a resolution to expel Santos. It’s Santos’s third expulsion vote this year, but there’s reason to think the trilogy will end on a low note for our hero.
House Speaker Mike Johnson met with his caucus and suggested that Santos’s resignation “would be, certainly, an option that would prevent a lot of people from having to take some very tough votes.”
It actually isn’t that tough a vote to expel a pathological liar and serial grifter who’s under federal indictment. However, the likely Republican presidential nominee is facing 91 felony charges and he was never a noted Broadway producer and volleyball star like Santos. So, it’s a little awkward.
Rep. Dusty Johnson, the chair of the Main Street Caucus, said Johnson is “trying to get [Santos] to thoughtfully consider what is best for the institution,” and if he said that with a straight face Santos should consider casting him in the next musical he produces. George Santos is a raving narcissist who only cares about what’s best for George Santos, and considering his damn sweater/blazer combo, he doesn’t always have the best judgment in that area.
Santos was typically defiant on Tuesday when he told reporters, “Look, you all want a soundbite. It’s the third time we are going through this. I don’t care. I was sent here by the people of the Third District of New York. I represent them.”
He keeps saying this, even though the whole point is that Santos perpetrated a fraud against the public to get elected in the first place. He was the political equivalent of that misleading profile photo on a dating site.
“The political class in Washington, DC, if they want to send me home, if they think this was a fair process, if they think this is how it should be done, and if they’re confident that this is a constitutional way of doing it — God bless their hearts.”
The Southern expression is simply “bless their hearts.” Santos sounds like a version of Tiny Tim who made a lifetime of poor decisions. While still permitted on the House floor, Santos delivered a feisty speech, demonstrating his impressive lack of shame.
“This expulsion vote simply undermines and underscores the precedent that we’ve had in this chamber,” he said. “It starts and puts us in a new direction. A dangerous one that sets a very dangerous precedent for the future.”
“Are we to now assume that one is no longer innocent until proven guilty?” he went on. “Or are we now to simply assume that because somebody doesn’t like you, they get to throw you out of your job?”
If he’d actually worked at Goldman Sachs while on detached duty from Starfleet, he’d know that you can lose your job in New York, an at-will employment state, if no one likes you because you’ve lied to them about everything.
Yet, Mike Johnson is also concerned about the “precedent that may be set” if the House holds Santos to any real standards. He said his leadership team will allow Republicans “to vote their conscience,” which I doubt these jackals possess.
“We’ve not whipped the vote and we wouldn’t,” he said before spouting more bullshit: “I trust that people will make that decision thoughtfully and in good faith. I personally have real reservations about doing this.”
“I mean, he’s been indicted,” Rep. Eric Burlison said. “You can indict a ham sandwich, so setting that as the precedent is very dangerous for this place.” You can’t literally indict a ham sandwich. That’s a goddamn metaphor.
Santos won’t bother whipping votes for his survival, either, presumably because it involves tedious discussions with his colleagues and isn’t the sort of activity you find on OnlyFans.
“This is the third time we’ve gone through this,” he said. “I didn’t do it the first time, I didn’t do it the second time. I’m not going to do it the third time. It’s not a good use of my time.”
He previously could take a cavalier approach to these expulsion votes because a two-thirds majority is required. That’s a heavy lift even when dealing with such an obvious slimeball. We’ll have to see if his luck finally runs out. Although, despite Johnson’s laughable assertion that Republicans are the “rule of law party,” some caucus members are reticent to expel Santos due to the complicated constitutional question of “What about Democrats?”
According to Axios, Rep. Lisa McClain, the secretary of the House Republican Conference, said there is “quite a bit of debate, back-and-forth” about whether Republicans “are […] all going to play by the same rules,” considering that Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez hasn’t been expelled despite his own collection of felony indictments.
Of course, it’s Senate Republicans who are helping give Menendez a pass, probably because he’s such an embarrassment for Democrats. McClain should worry less about the Senate and clean up her own House. Expelling a fraud like Santos is an easy choice.
UPDATE: Santos had a press conference this morning. It was a real hoot. He says he’s going to intro a resolution to expel Democratic Rep. Jamaal Bowman, for the crime of “door.” OK.
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R: If we expel Santos, you should expel Menendez.
D: Awesome!
R: Seeing as you aren't expelling Menendez, we will not expel Santos.
D: We want to expel Menendez, but we need your votes.
R: Ah, so you AREN'T expelling Menendez, we knew it! Well we're not expelling Santos then.
D: BUT WE WANT TO EXPEL MENENDEZ, WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH PHYSICAL PEOPLE FOR THE VOTES!
R: Hey everybody, check out the Democrats! Refusing to expel Menendez! Bunch of hypocrites!
If Santos has to go, it raises the question of why Trump gets a pass.
If Santos stays, it reminds people that the GOP is a safe harbor for fraudsters.
This is what happens when you let all standards go to shit, all in service of a deranged TV personality who you never should have taken seriously in the first place.