House Speaker Mike Johnson Previews Our Worst Days Ahead

We watch the weekend shows so you don't have to!

It’s been hard to watch the Sunday shows since November. Every week has been a slow march to this reality.

But we are here, so let’s see House Speaker Mike Johnson hinting at our dark times ahead of Trump’s inauguration.

Johnson was on NBC’s “Meet The Press” with Kristen Welker to giddily discuss various things that would happen immediately when Trump was sworn in.

As you can imagine, if you’ve been a loyal Wonkette reader, it’s exactly what we’ve written about before. After opening with the amazingly timed Reagan Iran hostage Israel/Gaza ceasefire deal (another victory for which Trump can take credit) and TikTok’s faux “ban”/“return,” the topic moved to Johnson replacing Rep. Mike Turner as the chair of the House Intelligence Committee.

WELKER: Congressman Turner has said publicly that you told him there were a range of reasons including, quote, "concerns from Mar-a-Lago." Did President Trump ask you to dismiss Mike Turner?

We’d feel bad for Turner, except we have an archive of times Turner sold out any reputation to genuflect for Trump. It’s a real, as comedian Franchesca Ramsey has harmonized beautifully, “I never thought the leopard would eat my face” moment.

Johnson, when asked about the possible $88 billion a year price tag for Trump’s mass deportations, made clear what the GOP House’s spending priorities are.

JOHNSON: I cannot think of a better dollar-for-dollar investment than to restore the security and the safety of the country.

Welker pushed Johnson on this, considering his previous statements on debt and spending.

WELKER: And yet, the cost is staggering. And you said just last summer, quote, “Our biggest national security challenge is our national debt.” Does that mean that you are committed to making sure that his mass deportation plan is paid for with offsets?

JOHNSON: Well, sure. Listen, the number-one job of the federal government is protecting the citizenry. […] It costs money to do that. But that is a small investment in terms of what it cost us.

WELKER: Just bottom line, you are willing to spend trillions of dollars, if that's what it costs, to get this plan passed?

JOHNSON: Look, it won't cost trillions of dollars. I think — we don't yet know the dollar figure. But I will tell you that the American people are going to support that effort.

I’m sure when Social Security or VA benefits are cut or the price of groceries never comes down, the American people will feel comforted that they didn’t skimp on the Fourth Reich.

We are so fucked as a nation.

Speaking of grocery prices, Welker did ask about that. Johnson seemed more evasive about all the promises Trump and his party made about lowering them “easily,” even to Welker herself before Trump quickly backpedaled.

JOHNSON: Well, it's a complex collection of legislation because we've got to unwind and fix everything. […]

Very reassuring.

Johnson didn’t stop there with his bad news for people who need help but won’t get it. When asked whether California would receive disaster aid without preconditions, like every state has for every disaster ever, Johnson made sure to note California would pay for their electoral insolence towards Republicans nationally.

WELKER: Can you commit that California disaster relief won't have strings attached?

JOHNSON: No, I won't commit that because we have a serious problem in California. Listen, there are national disasters.

Johnson then tried to gaslight about how there has to be accountability for “human error” and when “state and local officials make foolish policy decisions,” which sounds rich from a guy from Louisiana who has been and will be first in line at the federal trough to ask for nonconditional aid next time. Even his own constituents see this precedent Johnson is creating to be a very short-sighted disgrace.

Johnson, sensing that he would have to pass aid for California whether he wants to or not, assured everyone his party won’t let a good hostage situation go to waste.

WELKER: So it [California disaster aid] could be linked to the debt limit, to increasing the debt limit?

JOHNSON: Potentially. That's one of the things we're talking about. Yeah.

But when Republicans weren’t busy holding actual Americans hostages, they were busy calling insurrectionists “hostages” and reassuring them Trump would pardon them. Johnson tried to claim that only “peaceful” J6ers would be pardoned, but Johnson quickly gave away the game when pressed. And Trump made him a liar in short order, pardoning 1500 terrorists within hours of his inauguration. No, not just the “peaceful” “tourists” “taking a stroll.”

WELKER: Would you oppose a pardon for someone who has pleaded guilty to assaulting a police officer?

JOHNSON: Look, every case needs to be evaluated.

Spoiler: They weren’t evaluated very hard.

And that’s truly what the MAGA base will be celebrating this week: Their party & their idol rewarding their rabid support.

As Rep. Byron Donalds succinctly put it on Fox News …

DONALDS: Daddy’s Back.

You don’t have to be Freud to get why fascists with daddy issues love their autocratic “strong man” surrogate fathers.

Or why the rest of us have to fear a very violent and unhinged “stepfather” for the next four eight twelve forever?! few years.

Try to have a week.

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