How Is Trump F*cking Over Ukraine Today?
This is all disgusting.
This is all so gross that if you’re reaching peak saturation for horrible news, maybe skip this one. Go do the laundry, bag up old clothes to donate, investigate whatever’s causing that weird smell in the back of the fridge, all of that will be less revolting than this tale of Donald Trump teabagging Vladimir Putin’s balls.
Anyway, Saudi Arabia is hosting talks between Marco Rubio’s people and a Ukrainian team in Jeddah Tuesday, as in tomorrow, and in the future home of Trump’s next hotel multiplex.
But it already seems clear where this is headed. Over the weekend Trump proudly stopped sharing intelligence and weapons with OUR ALLY Ukraine, you know, the country the US agreed to support against Russia in exchange for them giving up nuclear weapons. He even ordered US aerospace company Maxar Technologies to disable Ukraine’s access to its satellite images. Because surrendering to Putin is what he always planned to do, and his staged fight with Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the Oval Office was some Wrestlemania-level bad-acting kayfabe.
Catch up on the backstory here!
With Russia thus emboldened, over the weekend they attacked Ukraine with a reported 264 drone and missile strikes within 48 hours, including Ukrainian energy facilities, multiple residential buildings, and emergency services that were responding to attacks, killing at least 20 people. And full of class, man-of-peace Trump’s special envoy to Ukraine, Keith Kellogg, sneered that Ukraine brought this all “on themselves,” and the intelligence “pause” was to get their attention, “sort of like hitting a mule with a two-by-four across the nose.”
And Trump also fumed that this was all Ukraine’s fault.
“I’m finding it more difficult, frankly, to deal with Ukraine. And they don’t have the cards,” Trump snotted. “In terms of getting a final settlement, it may be easier dealing with Russia.” AGAIN WITH THE CARDS.
And he made more sympathetic noises to Russia. Putin, he said, was “hitting them harder than he’s been hitting them and I think probably anybody in that position would be doing that right now.” Gee, how did they GET INTO THAT POSITION? Trump would like the world to ignore that part.
And he made some performative rrr-ggrrr noises at Russia too:
Based on the fact that Russia is absolutely ‘pounding’ Ukraine on the battlefield right now, I am strongly considering large scale banking sanctions, sanctions, and tariffs on Russia until a cease fire and FINAL SETTLEMENT AGREEMENT ON PEACE IS REACHED.
To Russia and Ukraine, get to the table right now, before it is too late. Thank you!!!
Tweeted the guy who just disbanded the task force that enforces the Russian sanctions already in place. What other sanctions could he even mean? He does not know, Poppy is just saying words.
Trump topped off his weekend of surrender by getting super pissed at a Washington Post reporter who wondered if maybe Trump felt disrespected by how Putin was not, in fact, making peace, but bombing Ukraine harder than ever, thanks to Trump rolling on over like a puppy and letting him.
WHO ARE YOU WITH? Congratulations, Michael Birnbaum, you will be the next contestant kicked off the plane in the game of which reporter can kiss Trump’s heinyhole the best!
Not to be outdone embarrassing America, Marco Rubio and Elon Musk also got into a fight with the Polish foreign minister on Twitter, like dignified people do. Poland is of course worried that they will be the next stop on Putin’s imperialism tour of Europe. So they are expanding their weapons cache, and Prime Minister Donald Tusk says they’re preparing to require every adult male to undergo "large-scale military training" to more than double the size of the army. Because they are NOT going back behind that iron curtain for anything. It stinks like old pierogies back there, the movies are terrible, and the lack of human rights is zero out of 10 stars.
So Elon Musk, probably gronked out of his bazonkadonk, bragged that his Starlink service was the “backbone of the Ukrainian army” and Ukraine’s “entire front line” would collapse without it. To which the Polish foreign minister Radoslaw Sikorski responded:
Starlinks for Ukraine are paid for by the Polish Digitization Ministry at the cost of about $50 million per year. The ethics of threatening the victim of aggression apart, if SpaceX proves to be an unreliable provider we will be forced to look for other suppliers.
Yeah, probably a good idea! Then Li’l Marco chimed in, huffing that Sikorski was “just making things up... no-one has made any threats about cutting Ukraine off from Starlink. And say thank you because without Starlink Ukraine would have lost this war long ago and Russians would be on the border with Poland right now.”
America’s top diplomat, everyone!
Tag-teamed Elon: “Be quiet, small man. You pay a tiny fraction of the cost. And there is no substitute for Starlink.”
Nice way to treat a customer who spends millions with your company! Of course now that Musk has the ability to empty the bank account of anybody in America with direct deposit for their tax refund, and is embedded in the government like a tick, he does not have to worry about attracting customers any more.
And Musk called Senator Mark Kelly a “traitor” for visiting Ukraine.
Well, let’s hope there IS an alternative to Starlink, because operation “hang Europe out to dry and tell Ukraine to go fuck itself” is clearly underway. Europe is buying more weapons and the UK is building a “coalition of the willing,” but it is quite clear America is not going to be helping out anymore.
This is all so vile and dangerously irresponsible that I wonder why I am even bothering to sit here putting in another day of work at my desk, obeying laws, earning a salary, and paying taxes, most of which will just get misappropriated to fund these adventures in destabilizing our civilization.
If you're not at the table, you're on the menu.