Is Ka$h Paying FBI Agents To Crime For Him? Or Just Bribing Guys To Be His Friends? Or?
If it's the second thing, just say that!
We asked yesterday in our initial post about FBI Director Kash Patel’s obviously premature ejaculation announcement of THWARTED ‘NOTHER ATTACK ON BEST PREZNIT EVER! POW POW POW! NOBODY GETS THROUGH KASH AND HIS LADY JACKET! if a story was about to hit that embarrassed him. More about his reported basic bitch binge drinking? Or something else embarrassing about him abusing the public trust? Something else to humiliate the Dear Leader he serves, the only guy who didn’t ever pick Kash last?
Like clockwork there it came, an hour later if that.
It was a letter from Democratic Rep. Jamie Raskin, the ranking member of the House Judiciary Committee, to FBI Director Eyeballs McTryhard responding to as yet publicly cryptic reports that Kash has been using his position — and US taxpayer dollars — to dole out $8,000 payments to FBI agents who like to lick fascist ass as much as Kash does, for God knows what kind of improper purposes and/or crimes.
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Here are some screenshots of the letter, and below that some quotes:
“We have been receiving troubling reports that you may be using part of the budget of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) as a personal slush fund to make tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars in unlawful ‘bonus’ payments to loyalist MAGA henchmen who have engaged in misconduct,” Raskin wrote, cutting to the chase.
He says his committee has evidence Dipshit has blown $1 million in taxpayer money on people in his “Director’s Advisory Team,” AKA “a curated group of agents who are willing to carry out your unlawful partisan and personal orders.” Also his security goons. More summary and quotes from MS NOW:
“By issuing these side payments, your office may be knowingly breaking federal law,” the letter says. “In some cases, nearly $8,000 payments have been made to multiple individuals every two-week pay period despite many of the beneficiaries of your selective generosity already maxing out on a federal employee’s salary.”
The letter says it is unclear exactly how much each of the agents has received, but “we can confirm that numerous loyalist employees have received at least five such payments in consecutive pay periods, amounting to nearly $40,000 per agent. We can also confirm you have depleted this reserve at such a frenzied rate that some of the payments have bounced back from exhausted accounts.”
“It is not clear whether these bonus payments have simply been a corrupt attempt to slide cash to friends or whether they are also meant to ensure the silence of the agents who witness your inebriation and accompanying professional negligence and misconduct,” Raskin’s letter says.
Covering up for Officer Drunk-legedly? Actually committing crimes on behalf of Kash?
Planting bullets that say TRANZGENDURRRR DID IT at crime scenes?
LOL we are just asking, and mocking.
“Why are these agents receiving extra pay simply for doing their jobs?” asked Raskin. “Are they, in fact, collecting bonus compensation for engaging in actions outside of their duties and outside of the law?’“
Questions that obviously deserve answers, and when Democrats take Congress this fall, people like Raskin will start to make their lives miserable and get some.
On the second page, Raskin starts to twist the proverbial knife by reciting out loud some of the humiliating stories America needs to hear more about Kash Patel:
We know the agents on your Director’s Advisory Team — perhaps better known as “the Payback Squad” given their reported willingness to pursue political targets and overlook pesky legal obstacles like probable cause — have received a significant amount of these funds. These “Payback Squad” lieutenants have repaid your corrupt generosity by polygraphing FBI employees, including members of your security detail and information technology personnel suspected of not fully participating in the cover-up of your excessive drinking habits and erratic behavior, such as the famous episode in which you locked yourself out of your computer, panicked, and told staff and allies that you had been fired. For their part, the agents on your security detail have also witnessed your indiscretions at the Poodle Room, Ned’s, Rao’s, Lower Broadway, the Strip, the Milano Cortina Olympics, and beyond — when joining you on date nights and bro trips alike. It is not clear whether these bonus payments have simply been a corrupt attempt to slide cash to friends or whether they are also meant to ensure the silence of the agents who witness your inebriation and accompanying professional negligence and misconduct. Either way, these freelance awards appear to constitute gross mismanagement of public funds and an abuse of authority by the Director’s Office.
Jamie Raskin knows who saw what Kash did at The Poodle Room.
Christ, how mortified his parents must be, the level of shame he’s visited upon his family and all his ancestors.
Oh well, not our fuckin’ problem, except inasmuch as his parents’ failed excuse for offspring is America’s problem.
This would be such an enormous scandal if the country’s scandal card wasn’t all full-up at the moment. But don’t worry, Democrats will keep the receipts so they can bring this criminal regime to a screeching halt with oversight after the midterms, and then patriotic prosecutors and judges can send this pathetic, friendless pisshole and many others to prison once this is all over.
Mazel tov!
[MS NOW]
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Any 2028 candidate who talks about how using the DOJ to prosecute shitbags like Patel and Hegseth would be “unproductive” and “divisive” and that we need to “look forward” and “come together” is going to automatically lose my vote in the primaries.
OT: Humble Congo, which had never scored a goal in a World Cup match, just battled powerhouse Portugal to a 1-1 draw.
So far there have been few blowouts. Even the smallest nations are putting up good fights. No creampuffs here.