James Comer Loses Star Witness, Impeachment, Still Has ????????? Going For Him

Comin' round the Capitol with a banjo on his knee...

House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer is many things: husband, father, congressman, wingnut, blowhard, idiot, lump of Play-Doh with eyes, sourdough starter that somehow gained sentience …

He is also the dipshit who, after months and months and months and months of promising and failing to reveal the double-secret evidence that Joe Biden is so corrupt that he makes Boss Hogg look like Mr. Smith, has finally been forced by reality to admit that eh, maybe his impeachment inquiry is about to come up emptier than his brainpan.

Mediaite flagged an interview Comer gave to a local news reporter in his home state of Kentucky, during which he tried to blame the possible lack of an impeachment vote on … Senate Democrats? Sure, let’s go with that:

“I think the conference will get to see what happens with this Mayorkas impeachment in the Senate and how serious the Senate treats that as to whether or not we impeach Joe Biden over here or we just focus on holding him accountable.”

Wasn’t the impeachment the mechanism by which the Republicans were going to hold Biden accountable for the crime of being their political opposition? We could have sworn they’ve hollered about accountability over and over and over. Maybe they were talking about their teenage children holding them accountable for not masturbating and we got mixed up.

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Everybody Hates James Comer And Thinks He's A Moron. Even His Fellow Republicans.

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Comer is using as an excuse the fate of the articles of impeachment on Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas that the House passed last week, after a quick remedial math class with Count Von Count, so they could send them to the Democrat-controlled Senate so the Democrats could toss them in the procedural trash just as soon as they stop laughing.

Now, there was zero chance the Senate was going to convict Donald Trump back when it was controlled by Republicans and the then-Democratic-controlled House sent over articles of impeachment. And Democrats knew that.

But they also knew they had Trump dead to rights on (a small fraction of) his high crimes and misdemeanors, and what was important was getting the impeachment in the historical record, so that when future generations are huddling over campfires in the nuclear wasteland, they will know that at least someone in this congressional era tried to put Donald Trump in a corner.

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James Comer Drops BOMBSHELL, Says Devil Joe Biden Eats Dinner Sometimes, In Places, With People

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With the Biden impeachment inquiry, while there might also be zero chance of Senate Democrats convicting the president, Comer doesn’t even have the excuse of being factually correct. And he knows it.

He also knows that even post-civilization tribes of feral humans scratching out an existence in a desiccated America will be laughing at him for getting suckered by some big-mouthed rando with a Slavic name and what a Politico reporter called “high-level contacts with Russian intelligence operatives,” which could be why he’s now backing away from the idea of even holding an impeachment vote.

Comer’s weaseling comes less than a week after the Justice Department indicted his main witness that claimed Biden and son Hunter took bribes, Alexander Smirnov, for making the whole fucking thing up. Which was followed up on Tuesday by another filing from the DOJ noting that they can’t believe a thing that Smirnov says and, oh yes, looks like he got the Biden/Hunter story from Russian spies:

In the memo, prosecutors portrayed [Smirnov] as a serial liar incapable of telling the truth about even the most basic details of his own life. But Mr. Smirnov told federal investigators that “officials associated with Russian intelligence were involved in passing a story” about Hunter Biden. […]

The memo describes Mr. Smirnov as a human hall of mirrors: He fed the F.B.I. bogus information about the Bidens and misled prosecutors about his wealth, estimated at $6 million, while telling them he worked in the security business, even though the government could find no proof that was true.

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James Comer’s Star Witness Indicted For Makin’ Up Sh*t About Bidens, Just Like Comer Does!

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This entire impeachment farce has seen a solid year of Comer and other Republicans claiming to have damning evidence, then failing to produce anything even mildly inculpatory, then repeating the whole process like a week later. Now, if the latest allegations against Smirnov pan out, they have managed to clown themselves on their own investigation while confirming years of allegations, which the GOP has heatedly mocked over and over and over, that Russian intelligence was interfering in American elections to prop up Donald Trump. Way to go!

It’s not unlikely Comer had some idea this Smirnov bombshell was about to explode, so that interview with the Kentucky reporter might be an early effort at damage control, which was followed by Jack McCoy telling him in a grave voice, “You can’t continue on to trial if you don’t have the evidence!” Followed by Comer walking dejectedly down the courthouse steps, briefcase in hand and a weathered, defeated look on his face.

Ha ha, just kidding, he probably went to the nearest nice restaurant in D.C. and charged a thousand-dollar bottle of wine to his taxpayer-funded office and laughed, because he’s a shameless asshole.

[Mediaite / New York Times]

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