James Comer’s Star Witness Indicted For Makin’ Up Sh*t About Bidens, Just Like Comer Does!
Can't do that with the FBI, it's not recommended.
It can be nearly impossible to remember what delusional bullshit MAGA was screaming about last week, much less last year, but readers, try to recall the period last year when they were babble-shouting “FD-1023!” at any clouds that would listen.
Republican Senator Chuck Grassley and House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer squealed and squealed about it, like piggies.
They wanted the public to believe the FBI was concealing a form called an FD-1023, which recounted the testimony of a Confidential Human Source (CHS) that contained the smoking gun! on the impeachable corruption of Joe and Hunter Biden in Ukraine. Bribes! Deal-making! Selling access! It was all there, according to the crickets who live in the anal abscesses of MAGA politicians’ brains.
And Grassley and Comer knew exactly what the form said.
Of course, what the form said had long been debunked, way back before the 2020 election, when Rudy Giuliani was globe-hopping to Netflix ‘n’ Chram with any Russian spy who whispered sweet (made up) Biden secrets into his leaking brain. Comer and Grassley almost certainly knew that, whether they were willing to admit it or not. (Recall around that time when Grassley told Fox News, “We are not interested in whether the allegations against Vice President Biden are accurate or not.”)
But that was fine. GIVE IT! FBI Director Chris Wray tried to make it available to Congress for its viewing pleasure in a secure location, but he was reluctant to just hand it over. So Comer was gonna hold him in CONTEMPT!
In July, Grassley got a hold of it and released it, and spoiler, it was not the smoking gun. It was Rudy’s debunked Russian spy farts, like we said.
This week, the FBI informant whose testimony filled that FD-1023 form with Russian spy propaganda and bullshit was indicted by Special Counsel David Weiss, the TRUMP APPOINTEE Merrick Garland picked to investigate Hunter Biden, for lying his ass off to the FBI and “making a false and fictitious record.” (That would be the FD-1023.)
In other words, all the (debunked) underpinnings of James Comer’s entire clownass investigation just went out the window, as if the investigation hadn’t already thoroughly defenestrated itself.
Alexander Smirnov, 43, was arrested on Valentine’s Day at Harry Reid International Airport in Las Vegas just after he landed.
The general story, as laid out in the indictment, goes a bit like this:
Smirnov talked to the FBI in 2017 about the Ukrainian energy company Burisma, and mentioned how Hunter Biden was on the board, but otherwise he didn’t have anything cool to report.
But in June 2020, he suddenly amazingly miraculously remembered two meetings in 2015 and 2016, when Burisma execs said oh yes, they hired Hunter for that sweet hot Joe Biden access, and they bribed both Joe and Hunter $5 million apiece while Joe was still veep, to help take care of the Ukrainian prosecutor general who was aggressively investigating Burisma.
In reality, that prosecutor general was fired for not investigating corruption, and Biden’s message to fire his ass was the stated policy of the Obama administration and the entire western world. In other words this is word-for-word the debunked lie Republicans and Russian spies made up about Biden’s role in the firing of that snot-pube, the lie that figured so prominently in Donald Trump’s first impeachment.
Now this Smirnov boy, he was told repeatedly that he wasn’t supposed to lie to the FBI or fabricate evidence, but sweetie darlings, he did it anyway, according to the indictment. He specifically fabricated all these crazy stories about Public Official 1 (Joe Biden) and Businessperson 1 (Hunter Biden’s penis).
But again, Smirnov first met with Burisma people in 2017, which was firmly established. He only suddenly changed his mind once Joe Biden was running for president in 2020.
And when the FBI interviewed him again in 2023, he stuck with some of his new lie story from 2020, changed some of it, and also inserted some brand new lie stories.
He could go to prison for up to 25 years.
If the media was worth a damn, this would dominate the news cycle for weeks, with chyrons under James Comer’s face that say things like “COMER: FULL OF PIGFUCK?” and “COMER: IF HE WAS YOUR DAD, WOULD YOU MAKE HIM LIVE OUTSIDE?”
CNN’s Kaitlan Collins played a clip last night that featured Kevin McCarthy and Nancy Mace talking in somber and serious terms about the somber and serious FBI informant who had alleged a bribe scheme against those criminal Bidens.
Sounds serious! You know, if we didn’t all know it was unrepentant dogshit at the time.
Matthew Gertz from Media Matters notes that Sean Hannity spread this informant’s bullshit 85 times last year, and put it in 28 monologues. Chris Hayes noted last night that Hannity had Jimmy Pigfuck Comer on his show 43 times last year.
He provides this sampling of Hannity on the night in July when Grassley released the form:
“There are now real and growing concerns that your president, the president of our country, is compromised,” Hannity said, arguing that through the form, Joe Biden had been “very credibly accused of public corruption on a scale this country has never seen before.”
Hannity crony [Gregg] Jarrett, in a subsequent segment, accused Joe Biden of “extortion” as well as “conspiracy, violation of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act,” “money laundering, tax fraud, not to mention racketeering,” and “bribery and treason,” which he stressed “are impeachable offenses in addition to being felonies. So, you know, this is a blockbuster scandal that could doom Biden's presidency.”
Nailed it, guys. You’re doing great.
If you want to learn just how much Hannity has done to spread these (long-debunked) lies, that Media Matters piece is great.
Look at this fool:
Mean Democrats like Rep. Jared Moskowitz — the one Comer lost his banjo-strumming marbles at a few months ago and called a Smurf — are of course LOLing.
In a parallel reality where Republicans have one ounce of integrity, they would be falling over themselves to apologize right now. But again, they’ve known they were lying the entire time. And wouldn’t you know it, Brian Stelter reports that professional liars Hannity, Laura Ingraham, and Jesse Watters all mentioned this indictment zero (0) times last night.
And heck, if they do, they’ll probably just say this is more proof Joe Biden’s Deep State is Clinton-listing his enemies, on account of how they’re RIGHT OVER THE TARGET.
Fucking scumbags.
At least now we can obnoxiously point out every time that James Comer’s star witness is maybe going to prison for 25 years for telling the FBI the same lies Comer upchucks out of his maw every time he prisses for the TV cameras.
[Media Matters / indictment summary via Kyle Cheney]
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Good morning, everyone!
I'm against violence in political discourse, but if I were Joe Biden, who worked for decades with "good friend" Assume Deer Dead Grassley, and I were accused of crime by him, I would make it my business to deliver the hardest backhand to his face that wouldn't dislocate my shoulder.