Jim Jordan Has MEDDLED WITH THE PRIMAL FORCES OF NATURE!
LOL :)
Well what a delightful day at Ye Olde Wonkette! We watched Jim Jordan fail again, more, no more than that, again. (We do not have a post on his losing the straw poll to remain Republican speaker nominee; I have requested Robyn grace us with one this weekend.) I sent the livestream to you already, in which I incorrectly stated he was going to try to keep voting until he wore everybody down, like the Khmer Rouge (that’s what they did right, made people keep voting?) or something. Instead, they have gaveled the session closed until Monday.
Meanwhile, Gary wrote the best thing anyone has ever written, IN THE WORLD. If nothing else, you will to read it please!
Make Me, Shub-Niggurath, Your House Speaker, Or Be Cast Into Death Beyond Death, Mortals.
SHUB-NIGGURATH, THE BLACK GOAT OF THE WOODS WITH A THOUSAND YOUNG, IS PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE HER CANDIDACY FOR SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES. LAUGH NOT, MORTAL! DO YOU HAVE A BETTER AND LESS-FATAL-TO-YOU IDEA? I THOUGHT NOT. ESTEEMED MEMBERS OF THE REPUBLICAN HOUSE CAUCUS, I UNDERSTAND I’M A FRESHMAN, AND THAT I ONLY OCCUPY THIS SEAT BECAUSE I CAST …
IMPORTANT BREAKING ACHTUNG: Are you coming to my party?
Some 2024 elections stuff!
Meanwhile, I only let Dok keep this impenetrable headline because he had already made the picture to go with it. I’m such a softie.
Mitt Romney, catty bitch!
Mike DeWine, STOLEN VALOR! STOLEN VALOR!
See what Robyn did there, in your weekly abortion news roundup?
To be entirely fair to us, how are we supposed to keep up with SO MANY TRIALS? We are but one (five) man (men and women).
And as we head toward the weekend (except for Robyn, HAHA WORK WEEKENDS, ROBYN!), here’s Sara with some help of the selfy kind!
And ready? Set! Cocktails!
Okay, THAT headline sucked me right in!
I think it might be time to rewatch Network for the eleventy seventh time.