Alaska is giving fascist liars from the Lower 48 the big northern finger, and the fascists are just STEAMING MAD about it.
A judge has tossed out a DOJ lawsuit — personally ordered by Donald Trump — demanding that Alaska block the certification of its midterm election results, but only if Democratic Party nominee Mary Peltola wins.
The Anchorage Daily News reports:
Sharing the state’s concerns about voter privacy, [US District Court Judge Sharon] Gleason’s ruling was particularly critical of the feasibility of the federal government’s request to segregate, for potential investigation, all ballots showing votes for Petersburg resident Dan J. Sullivan, the namesake challenger to the Republican incumbent.
This story probably sounds familiar if you’re on the West Coast, because they’ve tried this shit from California to Washington and beyond, using ever-so-slightly different arguments in each state, but always somehow in the service of the same thing — tossing out votes.
Down here in California, those racist scumbags are trying to say it’s “noncitizen voters,” despite the decades of evidence that “noncitizen voters” are not a thing, as a pretext for “setting aside” some 20,000 ballots.
It’s a total load of shit everywhere, of course. I’ve been watching these fools fall flat on their faces with these arguments since at least 1996. You wouldn’t have heard about them back then though, because they were rightly regarded as fringe losers and weird racist freaks who hung around the border yelling at people with the same fervor that they would hang around middle schools to yell at little kids about abortion. It took decades of lies, resource grabs, and leveraging major calamities in their favor for them to attain the level of power they have today, and I hope they lose everything tomorrow.
Speaking of the Trump administration, they’re naturally going to try to appeal the Alaska ruling, just like they’re appealing the California ruling, because they are exhausting:
The Justice Department filed a notice of its intent to appeal shortly after Sunday morning’s ruling, which dismissed the lawsuit without a hearing after fxGleason allowed it to be considered on an expedited basis.
“Clearly, if this Court were to order that certain ballots will be segregated and subject to a future and as yet unspecified investigation by law enforcement, it would likely result in voter ‘confusion and consequent incentive to remain away from the polls,’” Gleason said in the ruling. “Such late-breaking changes to the election rules are strongly disfavored.”
Gleason in her ruling sided with attorneys from the Alaska Department of Law representing the defendants, who requested that the federal government’s suit to be dismissed because “it has no legal basis” and said that the demand to segregate ballots was “not even possible.”
Alaska is roiling with accusations from the Lower 48 that the state’s residents are getting the wool pulled over their eyes by Dan Sullivan, who is running against another Dan Sullivan, who is running against Democratic Party nominee Mary Peltola.
Right-wingers are saying it’s her fault that there are two Dan Sullivans in the race, calling one of them a “spoiler candidate.” The New York Times, having learned nothing from when they embarrassed themselves by shitting the bed all over the place in 2016 with "But Her Emails,” has decided to treat completely legal ballot-stacking as a real controversy, suddenly giving a shit about it because Democrats did it.
But I know for a fact that none of these people actually care about it, because when Dan Sullivan himself ran for US Senate, he got into power because a lot of voters thought he was yet another Dan Sullivan, who was mayor of Anchorage and comes from a long, rich, and storied family of political Sullivans. I am not joking! From a 2014 ADN story:
What's in a name? Everything if yours is Anchorage Mayor Dan A. Sullivan. Sullivan, a candidate for the Alaska lieutenant governor's office, said he is getting tired of people mistaking him for his namesake, U.S. Senate candidate and former Attorney General Dan S. Sullivan. Both men will appear on the upcoming August primary ballot, albeit in different races. After KTUU -- Anchorage's NBC affiliate -- mistakenly posted a picture of Mayor Sullivan on a story about the onetime attorney general, the former said he wants to do something about the confusion. KTUU isn't the only local media outlet that has made the gaffe. CBS affiliate KTVA has also posted stories using the wrong picture.
So a few years back, voters went ahead and voted in Ohio Dan, which is where this right-winger US senator guy is originally from, with many voters thinking he was Anchorage Dan, which he wasn’t. And Ohio Dan is now Senator.
Now Sen. Ohio Dan is mad that Petersburg Dan has entered the chat, so he’s making a big stink about it, and Anchorage Dan has endorsed Ohio Dan for some reason, and the FBI is creepily harassing friends and neighbors of Petersburg Dan, who very wisely is nowhere to be found.
I’ll make it even simpler: Fish Man Dan is running against MAGA Dan, and Nepo Dan is endorsing MAGA Dan, and somehow it is Mary Peltola’s fault that all men in Alaska are named Dan Sullivan.
But there really isn’t that much of a problem telling apart all the Dans Sullivan this year, if you’re paying attention. There was already at least one lawsuit about it and everything, and if you take a look at a sample ballot you can see that there were great pains taken to not mislead voters.
In fact, when you look at that, I bet you’re not confused by the two Dans at all, and are in fact instead wondering the same thing I’m wondering, which is who the fuck is Gerald L. Heikes, and where does he get off not being named Dan Sullivan?
I have known a lot of Alaskans in my life, and loved a lot of them very much, and while they come from many different places and walks of life, they almost to a person share one very important personality trait: the overwhelming urge to be left the fuck alone by the continental United States, and everybody else too, for that matter.
But the Trump administration is pulling out all the stops ahead of an election that will hopefully, finally, be the beginning of the true decisive political death of MAGA and all the Republicans who supported it, and it is not taking “no” for an answer. There is nothing they hate more than being forced to respect consent.
It’s not like we haven’t been here before, like every freaking election for the last decade, plus all the dipshit fascists around the world making the same exact “election fraud” claim, when they are losing. I’m looking at you, Benjamin Netanyahu and Flávio Bolsonaro and Viktor Orbán and Narendra Modi and …actually, Aleksandar Vučić stepped down with very little fuss, you know why? Because voters turned out in such staggering numbers to really fuck him off that he realized he was overwhelmed and that it would be literally dangerous for him not to. That’s the energy we need for fascist turds in the United States. You have to vote so hard and in such great numbers that they have no choice.
Anyway, Mary Peltola is ahead by two points in the polls as of this week. Suck on that, Dan, Dan, and (no offense) Gerald!
OPEN THREAD!
"Is your name not Bruce, then?"
"Um, no, it's Michael."
"Ah, well that's going to cause some confusion."
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