Just 67,000 US Troops In Iran, Hanging Out And Being Bros
Anybody smell boots on the ground?
It’s been a month and two days since the commander-in-chief and secretary of WAR! bombed Iran with no provocation. (None except the Heritage Foundation, Zionist types and Lindsey Graham humping and pumping for it for decades.)
Now 13 American servicemembers have died, and 303 have been wounded in action so far. Meanwhile, Donald Trump’s dementia nurses have been continually pumping him up with AI war porn and videos of shit blowing up, and we all know Trump likes flashy things and shifts his opinion based on whatever somebody showed him 10 minutes before.
Saturday night he even bragged that 20 ships got through the Strait of Hormuz and will get a special hall pass for two shipments a day. Congratulations to … Pakistan!
Good news, truckers, farmers, and such, Pakistan’s gettin’ cheaper gas!
Yuge winning: On Friday, an Iranian strike on a base in Saudi Arabia damaged one of only 17 crucial US E-3 Sentry aircraft. The Washington Post reported the Pentagon is preparing for “weeks” of war in Iran. And the Wall Street Journal reports that 17,000 more Marines are headed over there or have just arrived, on top of the 50,000 troops already in the area to begin with.
WaPo:
Any potential ground operation would fall short of a full-scale invasion and could instead involve raids by a mixture of Special Operations forces and conventional infantry troops, said […] officials. All spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss highly sensitive military plans that have been in development for weeks.
Raids of what? Raids of who? What is Trump’s actual objective (today) for this operation that is not a war and that he’s already won, to get rid of the nukes that Pete Hegseth said he already got rid of? One emerging framework for concepts of a plan is returning normal shipping traffic to the Strait of Hormuz. You know, like the way things were two months and three days ago, but twist, the waterway renamed as the Strait of Trump!
That’s going to happen any day or minute now, because Iran has been begging him with tears in their eyes to make a deal to end the war Trump claimed he’d already won a month ago, and six months before that.
Sure.
He’s also mused that maybe he’ll go in and extract Iran’s uranium.
So, a ground invasion then, huh? We’re no Dionne Warwick or Mulan, but assorted half-assed boot-ground raiding into a country of 90 million people sounds like a strategy to do not much more than get a lot of (American) servicepeople killed.
There’s always a tweet.
Navy boats can trawl around in between the Oman and Persian Gulfs dodging mines and missiles all day long, but Western-style insurance companies are not letting oil tankers bound for the US and Europe through any time soon. Not with Iran still threat-promising to blast them to Valhalla, not even with a personal escort from Pete Hegseth’s dinghy.
That loser Trump is already losing, and all signs point to more. Like, the US has insufficient anti-drone technology and munitions, and was forced to start bumming from embattled Ukraine less than two weeks into the war.
The US has no support from any of the US’s NATO allies, and markets and economies are getting rattled all over as supply chain disruption and skyrocketing fuel prices extend into another month. But if the plan is to make the US a world pariah like North Korea, going great! Though even North Korea is on friendlier relations with more countries nowadays. Like Russia! Of course Russia/Vlad and his oligarch pals are swines in swill, what with getting sanctions lifted, and plenty of munitions to sell to Iran and keep bombing Ukraine with. And Russia is providing Iran with satellite imagery and drone technology!
It’s like a proxy war, but with Putin and Trump foxy boxing with pillows, and Iran their grease-filled tub.
And then last week, following easing sanctions on Russia, Trump eased sanctions on … Iran?!
Republican legislators are worried. Not at Trump’s obvious signs of mental decay, or the loss of innocent human lives, don’t be silly. They’re worried about the midterms! One House Republican anonymously fussed to Politico that if boots hit the ground in Iran, “We lose 60 to 70 seats.” Mediaite’s got your rundown of Republicans now very worried, including Mike Johnson, R-Dickweed, who’s insisting that the operation is done, and the troops there are just for a fakeout to virtue signal or something.
Excellent OPSEC, sir!
Congress, of course, could stop Trump’s nonsense by invoking the War Powers Act at any time, like it could have a thousand war crimes ago. And constituents who are already mad about the war(s), groceries and gas are really going to hate it when more dewy and fresh-faced young kids who signed up to get money for college start coming back to Norfolk in body bags as Trump chews gum at their corpses from under his trucker cap. But … SPRING BREEEEAAAKKKKKKK!
Members of the military are worried, though; calls and applications from servicepeople inquiring about filing for conscientious objection status have reportedly surged.
Even strippers are worried.
Only Trump’s most hardcore gooners want this war, even at the Pentagon, where it’s been nonstop internal battles ever since Pete Hegseth and his little brother came in and started trying to turn the place into the spear-tip for the religious war Pete’s fighting on behalf of his cuckoo wife- and kid-abusing hick church.
OOOO-RAH PRAISE JESUS and Pete and Trump, His emissaries on Earth!
Remember that time JD Vance went and gave a dumb dick-swangin’ speech to the Marines, and a bunch of shrapnel from Pete Hegseth’s premature bomb ejaculation landed all over the highway and his motorcade? Those two must have ever so much fun together, in between trying on and showing off their new FLORSHEIMS for Daddy!
Hegseth is as incompetent as he is deranged, and his could-not-be-worse leadership style is making the situation like flushing a backed-up commode. Six of the US’s 13 fatalities were from a plane crash, not enemy fire, and that came right after that girls’ school was bombed by accident, or “accident.” Incompetent or low-effort pathological liars? Either way, bad for morale, does not bode well for achieving an objective!
And there’s Iran itself, a bowl ringed with weapon-stuffed mountains, full of 90 million people who have no interest in becoming part of some US colony. Once boots are in, there’s no easy out. But, maybe that’s the point. Some blood for oil, some blank checks to spend the $1.5 trillion Congress is trying to give the WAR! Department to make war with. You tried Trump Steaks, Trump sneakers, Trump watches, Trump cologne, and here’s his brand in war form, going over just as great.
Oh look, late-breaking missive from Dear Leader, promising more war crimes, admitting it’s a regime change war, cool:
My Gargle feed or whatever says that at CPAC (which is apparently not the whoop-de-do it has been in past years), Rob Schneider called for the reintroduction of compulsory military service.
That's gonna TOTALLY galvanize the young men who are peeling away from MAGA! Why, I remember back in the Vietnam era, we young folks were just PRAYING we'd draw a low draft number so we could go save Our Country from the Godless Commies! But some of us were not lucky enough to be chosen. You can tell because we have all our extremities and don't wake up screaming every night.
...Hanging Out, Being Targets...