Pete Hegseth’s Marine Party Such A Blast It Exploded Shrapnel Onto JD Vance’s Motorcade
Those wacky boys!
Hoo boy, y’all. Pete Hegseth, Donald Trump’s GI Joe dress-up doll/Secretary of WAR and Vice President JD Vance decided to throw a big Marine Corps 250th birthday display at Camp Pendleton on Saturday, complete with “amphibious assault demonstrations.” Never mind that the anniversary of the Marines is not until November 10. It had to be last Saturday, maybe so that daddy Trump would be distracted from being crowned king of being the guy Americans want to say “Fuck You” to the very most. Or maybe some other reason, who knows with these dickslapping idiots.
And a bunch of squeaky tanks obviously wouldn’t do the trick this time. So Vance and/or Hegseth insisted on shooting LIVE FIRE AMMUNITION, 155mm M777 shells out of howitzers, as in fucking huge, blasting them from the sea and over Interstate 5 to explode some part of the base’s 125,000 acres. Behold, a demonstration of us bombing ourselves! Quiver in fear, ANTIFA!
Here’s how big the shells are, just FYI:
And, oops, one of the shells exploded early, OVER the freeway, raining shrapnel on a California Highway Patrol vehicle and motorcycle that were part of Vice President JD Vance’s protective detail. Gee, who could have predicted such a possibility?
The breathtaking levels of embarrassing incompetence of these people!
And, just … why? If Pete Hegseth and JD Vance wanted to feel like manly men, they could have done some pull-ups together, and then spanked each other while they recited the names of breakfast cereals.
That clip never gets old. But, anyway, Sad Dad needed a distraction, so he would not turn into Mad Dad and throw ketchup at the boys. And the previous birthday military parade that Hegseth threw to distract Trump from the last No Kings parade was so boring that Trump nearly nodded off in parts.
But even the Marines themselves were baffled as to why live missiles launched across the freeway needed to be a part of this display. One told the New York Times that “the only howitzer training they had previously observed at Camp Pendleton had taken place at approved artillery ranges on the main side of base, east of the interstate, which they said were a much safer option for training.” Oh no shit, safer than firing over California’s largest freeway?
And not only that, California governor Gavin Newsom said Hegseth’s office refused to give him the most basic information about what the plans were, including safety details. He had to hear about the live fire through the grapevine. And once confronted, Hegseth and company reportedly kept insisting to Newsom’s team that it was perfectly safe to keep the interstate open the entire time missiles would be whizzing above it before for sure detonating on the other side.
This Xit sure aged badly:
Stupid or evil? you ask yourself, for the gazillionth time (today). Look at the map and just meditate on how wildly stupid and/or evil this was:
Thank goodness the California raisins or whoever told Newsom in time, and he made the wise decision to close down 17 miles of I-5. Which caused a traffic nightmare, but also very easily may have prevented a mass casualty event. Thank goodness the metal chunks fell on cars that weren’t driving, instead of the windshield of a tractor trailer going 65 miles per hour!
Later at a rah-rah event for the soldiers, Hegseth, looking greyish, lectured them about how diversity is bad, and how great it is that they get to “kill bad guys and break things for a living.” Then he made them OO-RAH on command.
Blergh, watch if you want.
Vance, looking more bloated than usual, got up there and reiterated that diversity was crap, and blamed the Democrats for the “Schumer shutdown,” blithely assuming that his audience is not discerning enough to know who is in control of all three branches of the government right now. And while the Pentagon moved money around to get military members paid last week, but there’s no plan for what will happen next pay period.
Did the boys show their work? Did it make Mad and Sad Dad happy? No, he barely noticed. Instead he spent the day fretting about the No Kings protests and posting AI slop of himself wearing a crown and dropping diarrhea missiles on everyone.
Oh well, better luck next time!
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Trump has now tried and failed to assassinate both of his vice presidents.
Hegseth related from the Concord, NH No Kings.
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