Welp, The Leader did what he said he was going to do, and commuted sentences or pardoned all 1,570 Capitol rioters/tourists/Feds/Antifas, aka that sorry bunch of domestic abusers, conspiracy theorists, timeshare salespeople, incels, volcels, beauty school dropouts, militia cosplayers, Foxpilled grandmas, and guys who liked to get spanked while reciting the names of breakfast cereals who made up his paramilitary force. Most have already served their sentences, and 211 were released from prison. WELCOME TO THE ENSHITTENING!
Wonder which one of the brain geniuses who filmed each other committing crimes and posted the footage to their Facebooks will get re-arrested on a new charge first?
ICYMI, the January 6, 2021, siege of the Capitol injured more than 150 officers from the Capitol and DC Police, who were beaten with baseball bats and flagpoles, sprayed by pepper spray, and stomped. It led to nine deaths, more than $2.9 million in damage to the building, and the largest investigation in Justice Department history. Millions of dollars, hundreds of thousands of investigation hours and court hours spent bringing to justice the treasonous little pukes who busted up OUR Capitol and assaulted the officers who protect OUR stuff.
AND YET! The Fraternal Order of Police (FOP), who watched videos of officers being beaten just like the rest of us did, still endorsed Trump in 2024 anyway. Back the blue? That blue doesn’t even back itself! But the FOP’s still got the chutzpah to make like they’re clutching their pearls, releasing a joint statement with the International Association of Chiefs of Police (IACP):
Crimes against law enforcement are not just attacks on individuals or public safety — they are attacks on society and undermine the rule of law. Allowing those convicted of these crimes to be released early diminishes accountability and devalues the sacrifices made by courageous law enforcement officers and their families. When perpetrators of crimes, especially serious crimes, are not held fully accountable, it sends a dangerous message that the consequences for attacking law enforcement are not severe, potentially emboldening others to commit similar acts of violence.
YEAH NO SHIT, SO WHY DID YOU ENDORSE HIM THEN? Y’all did not have to endorse anyone. Hey Alexa, is it still a cult if 77 million people are in it? SHE SAYS YES.
Fourteen defendants had their sentences commuted, including Oath Keepers Elmer Rhodes (serving an 18-year sentence), Kelly “I don’t believe in anything, I’m just here for the violence” Meggs, Kenneth “Gator 6” Harrelson, Thomas Caldwell, Jessica Watkins, Roberto Minuta, Edward Vallejo, Joseph Hackett, and David Moerschel. Also Proud Boys: Ethan Nordean, Joseph Biggs, Zachary Rehl, Jeremy Bertino, and Dominic “Spaz” Pezzola, the one who got into the Capitol after he stole an officer’s shield and used it to smash a window. A commutation instead of a pardon means that they’re still felons and can’t own guns, which is maybe some comfort for the (really nice!) family Rhodes had threatened to kill.
(Hey, why DID the Oath Keepers feel the need to protect drunken shitshow Ronny Jackson? Wrong answers only!)
In addition to the commutations, more than a thousand were given full, complete and unconditional pardons, including Proud Boy leader Enrique Tarrio, who was sentenced to 22 years for recruiting minions to attack the Capitol. He told everybody to wear black so people would think they were ANTIFAS, and then kicked up his feet in a hotel in Baltimore because he’d been told to stay out of DC after ripping down and burning a Black Lives Matter banner. But he snuck back in to DC on January 5 to meet up with Rhodes and some Oath Keepers in a parking garage, because he is not a smart man. Remember how that dipshit incriminated himself and his co-conspirators because he could not quit sending blizzards of self-important texts to his minions while they were all pretending to be the second coming of the Continental Army?
Also pardoned: Ross Ulbricht, the “Dread Pirate Roberts” who ran the Silk Road site on the dark web, and also allegedly solicited six murders-for-hire on it. He was busted after an undercover agent staged the murder and torture of one of the would-be-victims, and sent Ulbricht photos of his fake dead body, to which Ulbricht responded, “I’m pissed I had to kill him… but what’s done is done.”
Yep, the band is getting back together. The Leader was asked about the pardons yesterday:
“The Proud Boys and Oath Keepers were freed following their pardons … is there now a place for them in the political conversation?”
“Well, we have to see.”
Then he lied that one of them was given years and years in jail just for ripping down a flag.
Republicans responded to the pardons with shock and outrage. Just kidding, they responded with silence, except for the Cabinet’s new foam party on legs, Marco Rubio, who got cornered and could only say, “I work for Donald J. Trump.” Oh, so, not the American people, got it.
And of course North Korean-style newscaster Laura Ingraham thinks it’s great, because everything the Dear Leader does is great! “But where was [the Left’s] demand for jail time, their outrage when the George Floyd rioters burned down American cities?” she fussed. More than 14,000 people were arrested during demonstrations after the death of George Floyd, and I will spare you the clip of her lamprey face. Other commenters include Twitter rabble hoping he’ll keep it going, and announce that he’ll pardon in advance any “patriots” who “take out the trash,” and this does seem to be where all of this is headed.
What a fart in the face for the police officers who were assaulted, who spent days in court trying to bring their assailants to justice, and have had themselves and their family members barraged by threats (and even feces) ever since. Face-farts for us all!
And now hundreds of these terrorist fucks are out walking on the street, with vendettas, after a relaxing time in the special “patriot” wing of the DC can, where they ate special foods like anchovies, clams, chicken breasts, and even filmed their own talk show.
It’s a big cult, hon, and you and me ain’t in it.
Fraternal Order of Police: The Thin Blue Spine.
Npr Cletus safariing one more time.
They dug up some 'dem,' voter from the Carolinas who voted for TFG because immigration (huge impact in the Carolinas, amirite?).
Noe he has sadz because:
"It was an insurrection because to me, he incited those people, but he let them go," Brown said on Tuesday. "I don't agree with it."
You voted to put an insurrectionist in the fucking presidency and you knew it you fucking shithead???!