Kayleigh McEnany Hates Courtroom Sketch Of Trump, But Gutfeld And Watters Say They Got His Penis Right
Sometimes the headlines aren't jokes.
How did Donald Trump’s big day in court end? TOTALLY EXONERATED? Or not that?
We hit the lowlights of the day at halftime, at which point Trump had spent most of his day embarrassing himself and getting in trouble with the judge. Afterward, his lawyer Alina Habba, the one who looks like the Melania double, came out and stomped her feet because the judge! yelled at her! just because she! was being! an asshole too! She! Won’t! Tolerate! It!
Whatever.
Oh boy, they were having some feelings over on Fox News’s “The Five” afterward, though. Kayleigh McEnany was upset that the courtroom sketch made Trump look ugly and said it was a “travesty,” just like the trial is a travesty. (The artist nailed it.) Jesse Watters and Greg Gutfeld said they got his hands right if you know what they mean, we think you know what they mean, but if you don’t know what they mean they mean his penis.
“Kayleigh, what advice would you give him when he’s in the courtroom?” Greg Gutfeld asked.
“Keep doing what he’s doing,” she answered. “Look, I would advise them to ask for a better sketch artist because that does not look like my former boss there.”
Are these vile, sycophantic, slobbering cretins really wearing some kind of glasses that make Trump look not foul and physically repulsing when they are in his presence? Are we pretending he looks hotter close up? Or does their cult-like devotion just mask it?
Dunno, but Trump’s former press liar kept harping on it, as if Trump’s idiot lawyers are going to file a motion for “get new sketch artist.”
“This is a travesty of justice,” she continued. “And that sketch is a travesty too. It looks nothing like Trump.”
Pretty sure the sketch artist was overly generous to Trump, actually. If McEnany can’t see that, hoo boy, bless her heart.
She also complained that New York Attorney General Letitia James called Trump a “con man” and a “carnival barker” before she got elected. And if McEnany can’t see that, hoo boy, bless her heart.
After McEnany finished her Yelp reviews, Greg Gutfeld disagreed with her art criticism, saying, “His hands are quite sizable!”
And Jesse Watters unzipped his mouth and said, “Never had a problem in that department!”
And Greg agreed, “Never had a problem!”
And Greg grinned because they were on national TV making unsubtle and admiring innuendos about Donald Trump’s penis.
Some people think they’re watching the news when they watch Fox. (Hit up Mediaite for the video.)
Here’s that Alina Habba video for shits ‘n’ gigs, because we don’t want to talk about Trump’s snickerdoodle anymore.
Trump still attracting all the best people. Hundert percent.
[Mediaite]
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Any lawyer who has been in court knows Habba is either full of shit or a Belgian-lace snow-flake queen of the fairies, because judges are just like that, even the polite ones. When they speak, you shut up and listen, and it's not personal. They're the law, ffs, and the bailiff over there will do what the judge tells him to. I've been told to sit down and be quiet, and I was winning the argument. The judge just didn't need me to talk and wanted to ream out opposing counsel. A judge in Santa Monica once asked me "What could you possibly have to add to this argument?" and I took that as a cue to shut the fuck up. It happens all the time. Motion practice in LA Sup. Ct. downtown is a fucking abattoir some days. And the pissing on Engoron's clerk is utterly baffling. Clerks run the fucking courtroom. The judges rely on them like no one else and they keep each others' confidences tight. If there's one person in a courtroom to extend every courtesy and politeness to, it's the clerk. This shit goes up on appeal, the appellate judges' staff are going to see that as an attack on themselves and advise accordingly. The shitshow record of Trump running his mouth like that? Fuck if they don't get a postcard from the appellate division, "Appeal denied without hearing."
That sketch looks like Lindsey Graham as drawn by Edvard Munch.