You May Now Have Five Minutes Of 'Turning Texas Blue' Fantasy-Indulgence Time
Don't say we never gave you nothin'.
Texas state Attorney General Ken Paxton defeated incumbent Sen. John Cornyn in the state’s Republican primary runoff election yesterday, giving a big ego boost to Donald Trump, who endorsed Paxton only after polling already showed he was likely to win. It it wasn’t even remotely close: With 99 percent of the votes tallied, Paxton stomped Cornyn by nearly 28 points, with 63.8 percent of the vote to Cornyn’s 36.2 percent. Texas Republicans had no problems choosing the scandal-rotted Paxton over the blandly rightwing Cornyn, convincing themselves that Cornyn was some kind of RINO despite his nearly perfect voting record on legislation Trump supported. Given a choice between Rightwing and Fucking Insane Rightwing, Texas Republicans will almost always go with crazy. At least in the primaries.
What remains to be seen is whether Trump’s hardcore MAGA support will turn out in large enough numbers to elect Paxton in November, especially if the economy keeps getting worse and Trump’s stupid Iran War keeps fuel prices high. Maaaaybe high oil prices will lead to more oil and gas drilling in Texas, and more jobs, but it’s hard to say whether Texas voters will consider that a good tradeoff if gasoline continues to cost nearly $4 a gallon in the state as it is right now.
The other big question in the race against Democratic nominee James Talarico will be whether Texas voters at large are willing to overlook what a sleazy bastard Paxton is. Sure, MAGA primary voters didn’t mind that Paxton had a Forever Indictment on securities fraud charges (settled in 2024), was impeached by his own party (but narrowly avoided conviction), AND has allegedly cheated on his wife (she’s divorcing him on “biblical grounds,” and we don’t think that meant he wore mixed fabrics). Paxton’s constant culture warring on favorite MAGA themes like immigration and hating LGBTQ+ people may no longer play as well with voters outside the diehard MAGA base, either.
When the outcome of the primary runoff was clear, Talarico quickly released an ad calling Paxton “the most corrupt politician in America,” which probably made Trump jealous since nobody is more superlatively corrupt.
After pointing out that Paxton was impeached by his own party just three years ago, Talarico added, “That kind of corruption is the rot at the core of this broken system. It's why we can't afford anything. It's why we can't get ahead no matter how hard we work.” It’s a good ad!
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One of the funny things about Cornyn’s loss — maybe not ha-ha-funny — was that in TrumpMerica, a lot of the things that used to count as electoral strengths are now liabilities. Cornyn was an unfailingly loyal Republican, moving up into leadership and serving as chair of the National Republican Senatorial Committee and as Senate GOP whip, but to MAGA, those team-player lines on his résumé didn’t make him a respected leader, they made him a “Washington insider,” a member of the “corrupt establishment,” and again, a RINO. His free trade positions may once have meant he was a principled free-market conservative, but now they make him a scary “globalist.”
Sure, Cornyn reliably voted with Trump — 99 percent of the time! — and unlike Bill Cassidy in Louisiana, Cornyn voted against impeaching Dear Leader after the January 6, 2021, insurrection. But he rejected the lie that Joe Biden stole the 2020 election, voted to certify that election, and continued to criticize Trump for having incited the attack on the US Capitol. Why, he didn’t even pretend the rioters were mere tourists!
Also, following the 2022 Uvalde massacre, Cornyn helped write the very very mild package of incremental improvements to US gun laws in the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act, which Texas Republicans seized on to proclaim that Cornyn wanted to take everyone’s guns away. Trump obligingly called Cornyn a RINO who supported “Radical Left Democrats” who wanted “to TAKE YOUR GUNS AWAY.”
No wonder Texas Republicans voted against that commie John Cornyn. He didn’t even manage to win Trump’s endorsement earlier this month when he introduced a bill to upgrade a major Texas-to-almost-Canada highway into a full freeway, to be named Interstate 47, get it? Sadly for Cornyn, the gesture didn’t catch Dear Leader’s eye. Maybe it was too nuanced — he could’ve added a gold medal and a peace prize to the proposed highway signs.
The Texas Gooper primary was the most expensive the state has ever seen, with dark-money Republican-aligned groups pouring millions into the race. The super-PAC supporting Cornyn, Texans for a Conservative Majority, raised almost $35.6 million this election cycle, with nearly a a quarter of that total, about $8.3 million, coming from just six big dark-money nonprofits. All told, Texas’s US Senate race has already seen spending of $112 million, blasting the 2022 US Senate election in Arizona out of the water for the most expensive Senate race ever. And the general election campaign is just getting started. With control of the Senate in play, spending on both sides is likely to be astronomical. Could be “interesting” to see whether the big money that went to support Cornyn will now start flowing to the far crazier Paxton.
It’s also going to get extremely ugly, with Paxton and his patron Trump lying incessantly about Talarico and depicting him as a crazy radical loon who hates Jesus, which they’ve already been doing for months. Trump himself has joined in with a bunch of weird lies, calling Talarico “Alfred E. Neumann,” insisting that Talarico loves open borders and crime, and a bunch of other bizarre accusations. According to Trump, Talarico also “believes there are 6 genders, is insulting to Jesus Christ, will never support the Military, was a big Mask Wearer until recently, and is a Vegan who dislikes meat.” (Reality: Talarico in in his 2022 campaign for the state House suggested eating less meat because it’s healthier and better for the climate. Talk about a radical madman.)
And yes, Republicans are really doubling down on the claim that Talarico is a “vegan,” because that means he’s probably a gay homosexual. Talarico doesn’t seem especially worried. Back in March, his campaign released an official rebuttal consisting of a photo showing him chowing down on a barbecued turkey leg at the Texas state fair.
And in an interview yesterday, Talarico used the accusation as a springboard to remind voters of a slightly more important distinction between himself and Paxton, saying, “I’m an eighth-generation Texan. I’ve been eating barbecue since before Ken Paxton’s first indictment.” Nicely done.
Nevertheless, it’s going to be a long hot summer of stupid tofu jokes, and worse. You could send James Talarico a donation for just the price of a few pounds of Trump-tariffed beef.
OPEN THREAD.
[NPR / Texas Monthly / NBC News / Open Secrets / Joe. My God.]
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Actual AccuWeather report:
"A thunderstorm on the prowl this evening; otherwise clearing."
I wonder if that means it will just be raining cats.
Harry demands extra cat treats for a side view photo.
He knows who is in charge here.
https://substack.com/@ziggywiggy/note/c-265988394?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2knfuc