Discover more from Wonkette
Kevin McCarthy Speakership Grand Closing Celebration!
Everything must go!
The once and never House Speaker Kevin McCarthy has made history. It’s a shameful, pathetic history, but on the upside, I guess, one of his Republican predecessors was a child molester. Otherwise, this is rock bottom. McCarthy was ousted as speaker on Tuesday, publicly losing a political power struggle against the snakeskin suit that walks (somewhat) like a man, Matt Gaetz.
McCarthy’s political fall was well-deserved. He’s a craven, sniveling weasel who believed in nothing other than wielding the speaker’s gavel, which he now must return after a mere 269 days. He’s the only speaker to be vacated, and his tenure is the second-shortest in history. The briefest remains Rep. Michael C. Kerr of Indiana, who served as speaker for 257 days, before he died of consumption in 1876. Although McCarthy publicly embraced Marjorie Taylor Greene, he didn’t actually catch anything fatal and will have to live with this stinging rebuke.
Let’s never forget that McCarthy grossly joked about striking Nancy Pelosi with the speaker’s gavel she wielded with such grace. Pelosi wasn’t present to witness McCarthy’s disgraceful exit, as she was in San Francisco, mourning the loss of her friend and colleague Dianne Feinstein.
If you’re already donating, please ignore this button. If you aren’t, here’s this button.
Supposed Adults Matt Gaetz, Kevin McCarthy Reenact The Sillier Parts Of Every Teen Movie You've Seen
Sunday, Gaetz announced on CNN’s “State of the Union” that he planned to file a motion to vacate this week, but what actually sealed McCarthy’s fate was his appearance on CBS’s “Face the Nation,” where he blamed Democrats for — no, you’re going to love this — attempting to shut down the government. The reality is that Democrats provided McCarthy with much-needed votes to prevent a shutdown after he’d already reneged on a past deal with President Joe Biden. According to The Washington Post, Democrats watched the McCarthy interview during a caucus meeting prior to Tuesday’s vote.
The charge was a misrepresentation of the events of the past several weeks, when House Republicans were unable to fund the government with only Republican support. All but one House Democrat voted for the eventual short-term government funding bill.
Democrats inside the room were “outraged” at seeing McCarthy trying to blame them, according to Rep. Gerald E. Connolly (D-Va.). “His performance was a very clarifying event for Democrats,” said Connolly, who added he will vote to remove McCarthy.
A common theme had emerged among Democrats — progressives, conservatives, moderates, centrists, et al — that McCarthy was “untrustworthy.” Rep. Abigail Spanberger from Virginia dismissed him as a “man without principle.”
“I think anyone who thinks that it might be some sort of strategy for frontliners to try and help McCarthy is kind of fundamentally understanding that to us, nothing is more important than our principles,” she said. “He has made this bed.”
Indeed. McCarthy never maintained a reputation among Democrats as a somewhat reliable “devil you know.” Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is evil but he (usually) does what he says.
There’s a great scene in the series “Nip/Tuck” where homicidal drug lord Escobar Gallardo makes a deal with Dr. Sean McNamara who asks him, “How do I know you’re not lying?” Gallardo responds simply and coldly, “Men like me don’t need to lie.”
McCarthy’s desperate grip on power was never secure enough that he could be honest with anyone — not the fringes of his base, the faux “moderates,” and certainly never Democrats. He was capable of anything — no matter how petty or underhanded. He whipped votes to overturn Biden’s Electoral College victory, just hours after Donald Trump’s mob had attacked the Capitol. Not long after January 6, McCarthy visited Mar-a-Lago on bended knee and helped rescue Trump from political oblivion. He betrayed his former colleague Liz Cheney at Trump’s behest. (Cheney would have her Diana Rigg-style revenge when she advised Democrats Tuesday to let him rot.) He kicked Democrats Eric Swalwell, Adam Schiff, and Ilhan Omar off key committees for nakedly partisan reasons. He just recently launched a baseless impeachment inquiry. He never stood up to the extremists in his party so why should Democrats stand up for him? No, they were resolved to watch this schemer fall into the pit he dug for others.
NBC News reported that Republicans had called “a handful of moderate House Democrats” and asked them to vote to save McCarthy’s job. The calls were described as having a distinct “begging” flavor, but it was too late. McCarthy had permanently poisoned his relationship with Democrats. Matt Cartwright, who represents a district Trump won in 2020, said, “After I saw Kevin McCarthy’s interview with Margaret Brennan, all magnanimity left my body.” Ultimately, McCarthy needed just five Democrats to salvage his lifelong ambitions and he didn’t get a single one.
Gaetz spoke from the Democratic section of the House when he filed his motion. This was because most Republicans wanted nothing to do with him. (He should continue watching his back, as there are likely sufficient votes now to expel him from the House.) The first vote to table the motion failed, and we were soon subjected to laughable speeches defending McCarthy’s embarrassing tenure. Patrick McHenry from North Carolina — now the interim House speaker — had the gall to blame Democrats for not defending the Constitution or some BS and saving McCarthy from his own caucus members.
When the final votes came, eight Republicans joined every Democrat present in supporting the motion to vacate. They were Andy Biggs, Ken Buck, Tim Burchett, Eli Crane, Gaetz, Bob Good, Nancy Mace, and Matt Rosendale. Mace stabbing discount Caesar was apparently a surprise to those gullible enough to still consider her a “moderate.” She’s proven herself a calculating opportunist who can smell blood in the water.
The House is currently immobilized and unable to do much of anything until it elects a new speaker. The current bad options include Steve Scalise, Jim Jordan, and James Comer, who are all different shades of terrible, and like McCarthy, none of them can count votes worth a damn.
However, Republicans are still capable of their typical cruelty. Fake Speaker McHenry ordered the absent Pelosi to vacate her current office effective tomorrow. Treating a respected Democratic leader this way, while she’s away for her friend’s funeral, will only ensure that Democrats are even less likely to defend Republicans from their worst members.
We’ll leave you with some good news, though. When giving his parting remarks that I won’t bother sharing, McCarthy confirmed that he won’t seek the speakership again. It would seem McCarthy’s capacity for shame has finally exceeded his own ambition.
Subscribe to his YouTube channel for more fun content.
Catch SER on his podcast, The Play Typer Guy.