Kremlin Confirms: OF COURSE Trump Sent Putin Romantic COVID Care Package And Mixtape In 2020
Just kidding about the mixtape. Probably.
When news broke yesterday, from Bob Woodward’s new book War, that during 2020 Donald Trump mailed poor Vladimir Putin all the home COVID testing kits he could find — there was a shortage in the US at the time — Trump’s spokes-pube Steven Cheung huffed and puffed and denied everything, without actually denying anything at all.
Which stories are fake and made up? Oh, just all of them. More importantly, Bob Woodward is angry and bad and little, and Steven Cheung is mad about that!
He didn’t bother to actually deny that Trump mailed Putin COVID testing kits, or other aspects of Woodward’s reporting, like the part about Putin and Trump talking on the phone as many as seven times since Trump lost the 2020 election. Cheung moreover gave no further details, like how often they talk on the phone now, nor did he clarify whether Trump often sends Putin care packages, with love notes, or brownies, or mixtapes, or dirty underpants, or if he sprays it all with cologne, or his pee.
Luckily, a slightly more credible source than Trump or Cheung has emerged, and it’s the Kremlin. Please realize that we are not saying the Kremlin is a reliable source. Merely that when compared to a brain-damaged pathological liar like Trump and anybody he hires, the Kremlin is a fount of truth, a goddamn oracle.
They’re still liars, too, though, obviously.
We believe them, though, when they confirm that yes, Bob Woodward got it right, Trump sent Putin COVID tests in 2020.
Kremlin spox Dmitry Peskov — who himself got a care package from Trump in 2017 when Trump spurted code-word level classified Israeli intelligence all over him in the Oval Office — confirmed the story about the COVID tests to Bloomberg, but denied the part about Putin and Trump having spoken seven times since Trump ceased being president.
(That’s the part that’s currently consequential, especially since Trump is currently trying to beg, borrow, and steal his way back in to office, and likely is trying to conduct shadow foreign policy behind the Biden administration’s back. So that’s where we’ll assume Peskov is lying like a common Putin knob-slobber.)
Vice President Kamala Harris reacted to what Trump did yesterday when she was on Howard Stern, echoing the refrain she’s been hammering about how slobbering and pathetic Trump is with dictators, because he wants to be one, because he thinks they actually like him and want to be his friend:
“That is just the most recent, stark example of who Donald Trump is,” Harris said Tuesday in an interview on The Howard Stern Show.
The vice president said people were “scrambling to get these kits” during the pandemic, adding, “And this guy who is president of the United States is sending them to Russia, to a murderous dictator, for his personal use?”
“I believe that Donald Trump has this desire to be a dictator,” Harris said. “He admires strong men, and he gets played by them because he thinks that they’re his friends and they are manipulating him full-time, and manipulating him by flattery and with favor.”
Harris has also already made it into an ad, because her campaign is good:
Somebody should check and see if Trump has sent Putin any care packages lately, like maybe right before the FBI searched Mar-a-Lago for the classified documents he had stolen. We dunno, check the tracking receipts from the FedEx and UPS stores in Palm Beach or whatever.
Could be a big story for some plucky young journalist!
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So glad ol bob sat on all this stuff for his book. Not like we coulda used that during an impeachment, or the last election, or anything.
𝑆𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡’𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤𝑒’𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑒 𝑃𝑒𝑠𝑘𝑜𝑣 𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛 𝑃𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑛 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑏-𝑠𝑙𝑜𝑏𝑏𝑒𝑟.
I don't want to go full copy editor on anyone, but shouldn't that be knob-slobberer?