Laura Ingraham Very Upset About Awesome Free Hot Dogs, Abortions, And Vasectomies

Like *that's* not a recipe for a party.

If there is anything I am excited about seeing at the DNC, it is the beautiful partnership between Planned Parenthood and the legendary Wiener’s Circle — which, incredibly, combines two of my favorite things, abortions and hot dogs! Well, three things, actually: Abortions, hot dogs, and men who can’t knock you up.

The mobile clinic will be parked in the West Loop and will be offering free abortions and vasectomies with an appointment and coupons for free hot dogs and emergency birth control without one. How fun is that? Personally, I am very much hoping that the mobile clinic will feature The Wiener Circle’s famous customer service (though, uh, maybe don’t order a chocolate shake at the Planned Parenthood mobile clinic).

Of course, not everyone is as delighted as I am. Laura Ingraham and Fox contributor Raymond Arroyo discussed it on the “Ingraham Angle” last night, and they are not very happy about it all, probably because they hate delicious Chicago style hot dogs (one of the top two hot dog varieties in the United States, the other obviously being Rhode Island hot weenies).

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“Raymond, they frame this as women's healthcare,” Ingraham said. “But how is this people-powered when, I guess the agenda is to abort the people and snip the men?”

Oh, I don’t know, because then people can have lives and have sex without having to worry about having kids they don’t want? Hmm? Also, no one is aborting people. I don’t care what anyone says, that’s not how they make hot dogs.

“Well, it shows a profound distrust and hatred for humanity, Laura,” Arroyo responded. “Where's the faith in what your party can do for people if your first freebie at your convention is a vasectomy and an abortion — and these are medical abortions by the way. They are giving women pills. So in theory, they could take their pill, go watch the speeches in the DNC's hall while the abortion is taking place.”

Uh, I guess you could … in theory … do that … but it might not be a great time. It’s really the kind of thing one should do at home, in the privacy of one’s own living room, while watching Lifetime movies. Ideally one of the ones about baby-/husband-/life-stealing nannies.

“There's something particularly insidious and evil about this whole thing,” Arroyo continued. “And Laura, here's the kicker; as I read into this, okay, the mobile health unit pulls up, there's a group called Wiener's Circle that's partnering with Planned Parenthood. They are actually giving away hot dogs every time you have a free abortion or a vasectomy. So, I knew human life was being devalued, I didn't realize it was just worth a hot dog.”

And now I’m dead. Like, I really, actually hope that this guy thinks that there are pregnant women out there who are like “You know … I was gonna keep this baby. But a free hot dog? That is too good to pass up.”

Though, to be fair, hot dogs have been getting pretty expensive lately.

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All abortion and vasectomy slots have been filled already, but you can always put your name on the list in case someone drops out. And you can still stop by for some free emergency contraception, which is always good to have on hand, and a hot dog, which is good to have in your hand.