Look What You Made Alan Dershowitz Do. Tabs, Tues., Apr. 21, 2026

With panties on!

Tabs gifs by Martini Glambassador!

Hola, ¿qué tal? Ready for tabs?

You guys, Alan Dershowitz wasn’t a Republican yet. Common mistake, because of how he tongue-bathes Donald Trump’s butthole with his words and opinions! But now he is a Republican, because something something Israel and there’s a Muslim in Michigan running for Senate and this definitely has nothing to do with whether or not he kept his panties on during that massage he’s admitted receiving at the Epstein manse. Also has nothing to do with how none of the Democrats on Martha’s Vineyard will invite him over or put a dumpling in his mouth, avec or sans panties. Alan Dershowitz is a Republican “now.” We mean now. “Now.” [Wall Street Journal]

Yes, KA$HLOL’s lawsuit against The Atlantic is hilariously stupid and ridiculous and embarrassing for him, did you think it wouldn’t be? [KA$HLOL LAWSUIT]

The Onion has officially won the war against InfoWars, is the boss of it. [The Onion]

And here’s Ben to talk about it, sincerely:

You must watch Wajahat Ali eviscerate the living shit out of Doug Wilson, Pete Hegseth’s sick fuck spiritual guru.

And that’s a good segue into my latest dispatch at The Moral High Ground, which actually came out this morning, examining the question IS DONALD TRUMP THE ANTICHRIST? You know, because some white Christian conservatives are actually finally starting to wonder. Oh shit, have they been worshiping Satan this whole time? And are you even subscribed to my side project? FIX IT, JESUS. [The Moral High Ground]

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Hey, you guys remember THE HAIRBALLS, the powerlawyers Liz used to write about, the married couple MAGA lawyers who looked like they hadn’t bathed in millennia, who were going to BLOW THE RUSSIAGATE CONSPIRACY WIDE OPEN? Well the boy hairball, Joe DiGenova, has been chosen to be the next idiot dipshit to INVESTIGATE THE INVESTIGATORS at Donald Trump’s clownhole Justice Department. [Media Matters]

MTG’s replacement is the very stupid kind of person. [JoeMyGod]

We are only beginning to find out what kinds of nasty incestuous shit the Orbán regime was getting up to with the American ballsucking fascist Right. My God. [J’accuse]

The thing that is lawfully wedded to Dinesh D’Souza’s daughter, we are sure it’s true love, says:

To cleanse your soul from all that … seriously, FUCK that guy.

Anyway, Emily Saliers and Amy Ray, better known jointly as Indigo Girls, released a video the other day where Emily spoke from her heart and a place of poignant vulnerability about two diagnoses she’s received in recent years that basically mean her voice will never be what it was. They’re not quitting! They’re still going on tour. Things are just changing and adapting. The outpouring of love and support from the countless people who’ve had Indigo Girls as part of their journey for up to 40 years now has been immense. Dang, just read the comments on Insta. [Them]

It’s impossible for me to ever pick just one favorite Emily song — or just one favorite Indigo Girls song — but that doesn’t change the fact that there have been multiple weeks in my life where I have listened to nothing but this one:

All righty, that’ll be your tabs.

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