Sorry, Officer, I Spilled 'Swimming Pool' On The Evidence

WHAT?

 This is one of those stories we are going to take with a grain of salt and a million droplets of chlorinated water until we read it in an indictment, because it is just too hilarious and weird. Also, just "CNN."

But they are reporting that a "Mar-a-Lago pool flood raises suspicions among prosecutors in Trump classified documents case." Because the swimming pool tried to eat the surveillance tapes, apparently, allegedly, perhaps.

The general outlines are that last October, a Mar-a-Lago employee drained the pool. This flooded the room where they kept the surveillance tapes. No, we don't know how. We don't know if pools these days have buttons that give you an option to flood the house, or what. We're less surprised by the notion that a Donald Trump business could be so janky and creaky that the surveillance tapes would literally be stacked in a room in the basement, fully untethered to the internet.

But that's where the servers were that had the surveillance footage. So.

While it’s unclear if the room was intentionally flooded or if it happened by mistake, the incident occurred amid a series of events that federal prosecutors found suspicious.

OK.

You know how Trump and Republicans are extremely old balls who always scream that Hillary Clinton "BLEACHED HER EMAILS!" like they literally believe that one day Hillary the Devil Laundress of Chautauqua bought the jumbo bottle of Clorox and started dousing her computers?

Look, we're just saying it's not entirely implausible that Trump is so stupid he got fixated on the idea of literally bleaching his own tapes and determined in his infinite wisdom that the only way to do so would be to pour the swimming pool on them. We're not saying this is what happened or what prosecutors actually believe. We're just saying he's definitely that stupid.

Anyway, more CNN, ugh can we just read this in an indictment?

It was two months after the FBI raid, and ...

Prosecutors have heard testimony that the IT equipment in the room was not damaged in the flood, according to one source.

Yet the flooded room as well as conversations and actions by Trump’s employees while the criminal investigation bore down on the club has caught the attention of prosecutors. The circumstances may factor into a possible obstruction conspiracy case, multiple sources tell CNN[.]

Oh, so this is about intent and building the obstruction case, maybe perhaps, but not necessarily about a bunch of servers that went swimming with the fishes?

Prosecutors from the special counsel’s office have focused their obstruction inquiries around Trump, Trump’s body man Walt Nauta and a maintenance worker who helped Nauta move boxes of classified documents ahead of federal agents searching the property last summer, and potentially others, sources told CNN.

The sources say that the maintenance worker is the person who drained the pool that led to the flooding of the IT room where the surveillance footage was held.

Oh, that guy . Well we can see why prosecutors are curious about that guy 's activities.

OK, well, we guess we will find out whether this matters or whether it is some sensationalized CNN bullshit whenever we read Jack Smith's indictment. Because regardless of whether this drained pool really matters, it sure does sound like they could be building a hell of an obstruction case, and that's on top of whatever other cases they might also be building.

The swimming pool? Fuck off!

 Crime Guy's Lawyers Go To Justice Department To Say Hey, Don't Charge Crime Guy With Crimes 

[ CNN ]

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