Markwayne Mullin Has Histrionic Pissyfits In Senate Hearings Because Them’s Oklahoma Values
Big man, definitely a dad his kids can be proud of.
Last night, Oklahoma Senator Markwayne Mullin, a Republican obviously, ran whining to Sean Hannity, because that’s what they all do after a long day of playing with their poo. And he told Hannity that he had that silly crybaby temper tantrum at the head of the Teamsters union during a Senate hearing yesterday because that’s what Oklahoma voters sent him there to do. Which says a lot about the relatively low quality of Oklahoma voters in comparison to all others, if true.
Hannity said it would have been “gutless” to react in any other way. (The Teamsters guy had made some mean tweets at Mullin months ago.) “What do people want me to do?” asked Mullin, apparently unaware that regular people who love themselves and aren’t cowfucking morons do not require their senators to try to start redneck fights during Senate hearings. “If I didn’t do that, people in Oklahoma would be pretty upset at me. That’s not how we raised, and I’m ‘posed to represent Oklahoma values!”
Guess some states raise their children better than Oklahomans do.
This would be a good time to remind everyone that Sean Hannity does MMA, did you know he does MMA? Markwayne Mullin used to do MMA, did you know he did MMA? This has been a paragraph about MMA and the guys who do it.
At another point in the interview, Hannity explained that back in his day, it was a different time, and every single day (every SINGLE day) on the ballfield all the children would get into fistfights with each other, because this is just what they did.
“Me and my friends, when we played football, we played basketball, I played hockey, you know, I don’t think there was a single day that we were playing sports, where we didn’t drop the gloves or, you know, have a brief interlude of, you know, throwing fists, and it would all be over, you pick up and you start playing again.”
Every day, they had to punch each other, baby Sean Hannity and his pals.
He asked, “When all of a sudden did we become that woke that the thought of two people, one responding to a threat directly, saying, OK, you threatened me, here’s your opportunity, take me up on it?”
Indeed, when did we become so “woke” that we don’t even throw punches during Senate hearings when mean guys hurt our feelings?
Mullin said it is “political correctness,” and then bellyached that “the Left can say whatever they want.” (You should see what they’re saying on Wonkette about what a little milquetoast coward Markwayne Mullin is.)
On Fox Business yesterday, Mullin squeakily complained with his shrill squeaky boy voice that the Teamsters man, Sean O’Brien, is a “thug,” and that committee chair Bernie Sanders should have expected this to happen because “you’ve seen his tweets to me.” (Reminder that this is still about mean tweets. You would think Sean O’Brien had fucked Mullin’s wife by how melodramatic he’s being.)
“I says you brought the thug in!” That’s what he said to Bernie.
And he appealed to precedent for other times that grown men acted like little pissyass shitbabies on the Senate floor. There’s a lot going on in this clip:
MULLIN: Andrew Jackson challenged two people or nine people to a duel when he was president, and he also knocked one guy out at a White House dinner! There’s been canings before in the Senate too! Maybe we should bring some of that back, you know, keep people from thinking they’re so tough, and make us sit at a table, and we can actually work out our differences without poking at each other, and wanna run to cameras and call people names. Maybe if we have some kind of respect because we know there’s gonna be consequences for your actions, then maybe we can move on with all this, I don’t know, JARGON, that happens around this place.
Wow, OK. First of all, that’s not how the word “jargon” is used in the English language, or any other language. It is not even the Oklahoma values definition of “jargon.”
Secondly, Markwayne Mullin is saying that maybe they should have some canings in the Senate, or possibly duels, in order to keep people from sending him mean tweets? If they knew there was gonna be consequences for sending Markwayne Mullin mean tweets, then people wouldn’t do it, because they’d get caned?
Uh huh. OK, big boy.
Thirdly, that (infamous) caning Mullin referenced is credited for hastening the beginning of the Civil War, so perhaps Markwayne Mullin’s little dick-wiggling fight club strategies aren’t that effective out here in grownup world. It was an assault. It wasn’t something they just did back then. And who did the caning? The guy trying to preserve slavery, of course. American white conservatives are pretty much the same people they’ve always been.
Pig ignorant hick senators from Oklahoma should probably not try to explain history if they don’t want to be humiliated.
Mullin also responded to the idea that this was behavior “unbecoming to a senator,” and he said well he doesn’t know, but he said that he is first an Oklahoman (before he is a senator), and that’s what happens if you try that in Oklahoma. (Refer to earlier suggestion that perhaps many of the children of Oklahoma — at least the white conservatives ones — are raised poorly, by idiots.) He said the Teamsters guy O’Brien was “scared out of his mind” when he stood up to go beat him upon the bottom during the Senate hearing. Markwayne Mullin said he saw “the fear in his eyes,” and that O’Brien was “very thankful” that Bernie Sanders stopped them.
“I wasn’t worried about the fight itself, but I was ready to shut his mouth up,” said the United States senator, yet another man whose head was filled as a child with lies like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Mullin said he guarantees that Teamsters guy “won’t run his mouth to me again.”
What a cool guy. Definitely a dad his kids can be proud of.
For his part, Bernie Sanders said it’s “pathetic” that he had to break up that dumbass shit yesterday.
In other Mullin news, he reportedly kicked Rep. Tim Burchett — the one Kevin McCarthy kidney-punched — out of his workout group last week, because Tim Burchett is mean to Kevin McCarthy and Markwayne Mullin is Kevin McCarthy’s friend and you cannot be mean to Kevin McCarthy unless you WANT TO TAKE THIS OUTSIDE, YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS OUTSIDE? WE CAN TAKE THIS OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!
Burchett said Mullin “berated” and “yelled” at him until he left the Prancercise group.
Big man.
By the way, you really should watch the whole entire full video of yesterday’s incident. Markwayne Mullin is so much more pathetic in the full video than he is in the brief clips we’ve all been watching. If you want to see what a small man he really is, take five minutes.
[videos via Acyn / Aaron Rupar]
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“wanna run to cameras and call people names.”
The lack of self-awareness is mind-blowing.
"Bro! Did you see? Did you see, bro? I totally would have kicked his ass. Did you see? He was all, 'Dude!" and I was, like, 'I'll kick your ass, bro!' and he totally backed down. He's lucky, too. I would've kicked his ass, but I didn't want to go to jail. Did you see, bro?"
Yeah. I've heard it at college bars from bad ass frat boys. Never expected to hear it from a US Senator.