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Markwayne Mullin Is A Biter
Does he also pull hair?
Y’all, he’s still going.
Markwayne Mullin, the Republican senator from Oklahoma, is still going on every show he can to brag about how he was about to beat up that Teamsters guy for hurting his feelings and sending mean tweets at him. He’s like a stupid little sad tiny short whiny ass titty baby wind-up rage monkey. It’s like something out of a cartoon.
So that’s how Mullin ended up on CNN yesterday afternoon, telling Dana Bash that hey guess what, he was gonna beat up that guy, did you see him? He was gonna beat up that guy, better not mess with Markwayne Mullin, did you see him? He was gonna beat up that guy:
"What happens all the time is that you've got these keyboard warriors that's gonna go out there and run their mouth all the time, and then they don't ever have to face the consequences.”
People are mean to the baby on the internet and nobody ever beats them up, and this is illegal.
"And people tell me all the time, you know, this isn't becoming of the United States senator and I remind people I'm a guy from Oklahoma first. And there's consequences for doing some of this.”
Eric Cartman dressed as policeman dot gif.
You want the play-by-play of what was happening in Markwayne Mullin’s uncontrollable brain when that guy was in the Senate and they were about to fight? He’ll tell you, Dana Bash, he’ll tell you:
"First thing I thought of when I stood up, I thought, 'I'm gonna break my hand on this guy's face. I'm gonna take my wedding ring off,'" Mullin said.
I am a United States senator, because Oklahoma voters are too fucking stupid to choose more wisely. I am not enough of a dignified adult man to hold this position. So I’m gonna break my hand on this guy’s face because he hurt my feelings! I’m gonna take my wedding ring off!
It’s funny because in our initial post on the subject, we made fun of him taking the wedding ring off. It made us laugh so hard we used that screengrab as the pic.
Officer Oklahoma Values continued:
"Because when you're fighting and you learn how to punch correctly, you really shouldn't break for him, but when you're aren't doing it with wraps — "
"You actually thought you were gonna come to blows in that moment," Bash interjected.
"I had full intentions of doing it. Absolutely," Mullin responded.
No foolin’? Guess at that point the rage had taken over.
Or something else had taken over, wouldn’t want to speculate.
Bash asked Mullin to respond to people like Senator Thom Tillis, Republican of North Carolina, who said guys like Mullin should remember that children are watching and maybe act better. (Laura Ingraham was also appalled and said so, even crediting Bernie Sanders for being the “voice of reason” in the situation. Two hours later Mullin went on Hannity and they talked about how awesome it is to punch people every day. Because when God didn’t give you a brain to fight with, you use what you have, we guess.)
This was Mullin’s response to Tillis:
"I tell my kids you're responsible for your words. If you want to be a bully, expect to be treated like that, and if you should be able to stand up for other people that are being bullied too," Mullin said. "I'm not somebody that's gonna say we go around and fight all the time. I got paid to fight, but I will say that every now and then you do, and he should be taught a lesson, because you can't simply just continue to do this. So at what point does the line get drawn?"
So Markwayne Mullin probably shouldn’t be allowed to influence children if he thinks he’s setting a good example here.
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So that was the CNN interview. Here’s a clip from some podcast where he says he likes to bite people in fights:
“I’m not afraid of biting. I will bite. […] In a fight, I’m going to bite. I’ll do anything. I mean, I’m not above it. And I don’t care where I bite, by the way, it’s just gonna be a bite.”
Is it Oklahoma values to bite people?
Does he also pull hair?
Mullin is on Twitter flexing his muscles and saying “Anyplace, anytime,” in response to podcast invites. (We guess he thinks “anyplace” is one words just like he thinks “Markwayne” is one word.)
It’s a shame a guy with such nice arms has such a terminal case of Little Man Syndrome.
Ron Filipkowski from MeidasTouch tweets this pic of the Teamsters dude tweet that he thinks upset Mullin so much. He notes that Mullin hasn’t been saying it out loud — he’s been blubbering about Sean O’Brien calling him a clown and a fraud — but he theorizes that what might really be upsetting Mullin is that you can see his
booster seat standin’ box behind the podium.
America’s hottest strategy for winning a fight against Markwayne Mullin is doing that thing where you put your hand on your opponent’s head and hold them far enough away that their punches can’t reach you.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.