MyPillow founder and 2020 election conspiracy enthusiast Mike Lindell continues to not take his loss in the Minnesota Republican gubernatorial primary well. Lindell came in a whopping 11 points behind the winning candidate, state House Speaker Lisa Demuth, in the August 11 primary. He immediately refused to concede and insisted he’d lost due to “anomalies in the numbers,” because why else would he lose except through massive fraud by his Republican opponent? It certainly couldn’t have anything to do with the state Republican Party’s endorsement of Demuth, or the fact that Lindell’s only real platform was “2020 election fraud” and “endorsed by Donald Trump.”
Lindell loudly announced last Wednesday — the only way he announces anything —that he would personally pay for a hand recount of all the paper ballots in the statewide primary, which would cost him about $825,000. (An automatic recount wasn’t in the cards, because again, 11 freaking point loss.) He just knows that he’s the Chosen One who’s destined to lose to Democratic nominee Amy Klobuchar in November.
“One of the few good election laws Minnesota does have is that as a candidate, I have the right to completely audit and hand count every ballot in the state,” Lindell said in the announcement, adding that he intends to use that right “to the full extent of the law.”
To the utter astonishment of every sentient being in the galaxy, Lindell instead refused to pay for the recount by Monday’s deadline, because the Minnesota Secretary of State’s Office plans only to recount the votes for Demuth and Lindell, not those for the other losing candidates in the seven-candidate primary. While he was at it, he also filed a lawsuit with the Minnesota Supreme Court against Secretary of State Steve Simon and other elections officials, because he was robbed, robbed!
Lindell told NBC News in a phone interview Tuesday that the whole damn system was rotten, rotten to the core, as crappy as a (purely hypothetical) lumpy overpriced pillow made from factory second foam and roadkill (JOKE! Mike Lindell’s lawyers, JOKE!) and sold to gullible fools on cable TV.
“I paid this to have all of the votes counted, not just two people,” he said. “I need to have a real recount, and I will fight this in court and get that real recount. I don’t care if it costs triple. I didn’t hold back anything. They did a bait-and-switch on me, and it’s disgusting.”
The narrator then pointed out that in fact, Lindell had not paid for a damn thing.
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Not surprisingly, the secretary of state’s office says Lindell is full of stuff. Lumpy, irregularly shaped chunks of polyurethane polyfoam stuff.
“Our office provided the contingent recount plan to Mr. Lindell after it was approved by the State Canvassing Board,” said Secretary of State spokeswoman Cassondra Knudson. “The plan follows state law and administrative rules on recount procedures and is consistent with previous recount plans.”
Adding a new soft, shapeless claim that NBC News seems to have missed, Lindell told the Minneapolis Star-Tribune that he didn’t just want to hand-recount all the paper ballots from the Republican primary, but ideally he’d like to get his grubby little hands on the ballots from the Democratic primary so he could “prove” his fanciful — and completely unsubstantiated — claim that computer trickery had stolen the election from him, and obviously from the Minnesota voters who love him so much.
Please put your tinfoil hat on for this next blockquote, which is stuffed not with foam or unicorn dandruff, but with weapons-grade stupid. Maybe just put tinfoil over your screen until we tell you it’s safe to look.
“There was an algorithm that night,” Lindell said.
When asked who Lindell believes was rigging the election, Lindell said “this is the ‘uniparty.’” […]
“I believe our elections with these computers are being selected not elected,” Lindell continued. “Your guess is as good as mine. The deep state globalists, the CCP, China. But in our own elections like this I believe it’s the uniparty.”
OK, you can come out again.
The Secretary of State’s Office says the State Canvassing Board approved the recount plan on August 18 and provided a copy to Lindell that day. But Lindell insisted in court documents that the plan was “ambiguous,” and that he only realized Monday that the state was trying to steal his birthright from him in exchange for a mess of lumpy wadded foam.
Knudson, the spox for the Secretary of State’s Office, said that the “next steps in this case will be decided by the court,” presumably while pinching the bridge of her nose in the universal gesture indicating that this asshole is giving her a screaming headache, the end.
Oh hell, let’s watch Lindell losing his shit in that deposition again. You don’t need no stinking context. What an asshole, and OPEN THREAD!
[NBC News / Minneapolis Star-Tribune / CBS News]
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I feed Gimothy the Goose a mix of cracked corn and black oil sunflower seeds. I got this today from a supporter, 25 lbs of black oil sunflower seeds and there is 20 lbs of cracked corn coming tomorrow. The birbs will be eating good!
Meanwhile Harry says, who cares about bird food, LOOK AT THIS BOX!
https://substack.com/@ziggywiggy/note/c-323303036?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=2knfuc
The Empire State Building went pink at exactly 9:25pm for Dolly Parton.
Because of course they made it 9 to 5. That’s how you honor an icon. 🩷
https://bsky.app/profile/cwebbonline.com/post/3mtxf2edp4s2h