It has been a while since we’ve mentioned or even thought about Milo Yiannopoulos around here. In fact, as far as I can tell, the last time was back in 2021 when he was selling Virgin Marys on some sad Christian Nationalist QVC.
He’s not really all that relevant these days, given that his value as a Trump surrogate went poof after he went on Bill Maher and defended child-molesting priests. He is, however, still a giant fucking weirdo and, supposedly, still an “ex-gay.”
It also seems as though he’s got some kind of rivalry going on with Nick Fuentes, the white supremacist Eve Harrington to his alt-right Margo Channing, possibly stemming from Milo’s claim that he set Trump up to have dinner with Fuentes and Ye (formerly known as Kanye West) in order to “make his life miserable” as punishment for ignoring him and others who had been so devoted to him.
Anyway, at some point in the recent past, Fuentes made a bizarre video about how he and all of the other Groypers need to start having sex with human women, even though they are all deeply repulsed by the idea and by women in general, in order to make more white babies. Sadly, this erases the one positive contribution Fuentes has made to society — convincing the worst of all possible men to take themselves out of the sexual marketplace.
(Wonkette does not recommend watching this video directly after eating)
It is somewhat significant given that a core tenet of Groyper nonsense has long been “not having sex with women.” Fuentes previously asserted that it is “gay” to have sex with women, and even gave the treasurer of the Groyper movement the axe for having had a girlfriend, as that was not allowed.
Anyway! Yiannopoulos got wind of that one and decided to issue a challenge to Fuentes — a baby-off, in which whichever one of them fathers the most children by 2027 will pay the other $250K and admit to being a lesser man on social media.
It reads:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
I am publicly challenging Nicholas J. Fuentes to a baby-off. I say I will have more natural-born offspring by the second quarter of 2027. Here are my conditions:
No Dave Rubin-style pay to play
You cannot rape-you must succeed in courting a woman and persuading her to breed with you
Children must be conceived naturally, as a product of ordinary intercourse and not in-vitro fertilization or other artificial methods loathsome to God
In the event of a tie, marriage to the mother shall be the determining factor
The loser shall pay the winner $250,000, and tweet the following: "I accept that my adversary (name] is a superior man to me in every way.”
I like that the marriage part is optional, given how deeply religious they both are … and that the “no rape” caveat was necessary.
Yiannopoulos is preparing for fatherhood by engaging in the traditional heterosexual male ritual of … swallowing raw eggs? Is that a thing?
I wasn’t sure, so I asked Gary in the Wonkette chat cave, and he assured me that it definitely is.
Look,” he explained, patiently. “It's very clear: the man swallows an egg, then passes it to the woman via intercourse, and she incubates a baby chicken in her womb. I fail to see the confusion.”
It does make a certain amount of sense!
Yiannopoulos has also been engaging in a spirited discussion with his followers about how wokeness has deprived women of the gay husbands they were meant to have.
It’s not entirely surprising that this is where that discourse eventually landed. Or that the virulently pro-life Yiannopoulos is openly advocating for baby murder on the timeline.
So pro-natalist!
So far, Fuentes has not responded to the challenge, which is very surprising given how excited he seemed by the idea of having sex with a human woman.
Oh, great and powerful God of raw egg-borne salmonella, hear my prayer.
Someday, video will surface of the now-"straight" Milo in a gay bar or bathhouse.
Possibly with Lindsey Graham.
(My usual disclaimer: I do not care if Graham is gay. I don't care if he chooses to remain closeted, though I think it's a shame if he does. I don't care if he patronizes "escorts", as long as they are of legal age and working in that business by their own choice. I do care, a lot, if he's privately gay and publicly supporting positions that harm the gay community.)