Oh So Now It’s A Crime To Do Totally Legal Things If They’re Part Of Massive Criminal Conspiracies To Overturn Elections
Yes, some things really are RICO.
Let’s check in with Crimey The Clown.
Wow. Is that the closest he’s come to just accidentally and/or not accidentally typing what he probably really really really wants to type?
Anyway, that comes after last night, when the loser bitched that 19 people had just been “indicated.” Indeed, Fulton County, Georgia, District Attorney Fani Willis and her grand jury have released a great big set of indications, and also some indictments. The purpose of the conspiracy was to “unlawfully change the outcome of the election in favor of Trump.”
Los Angeles Times legal guy and former US attorney Harry Litman helpfully broke down a few of the broad brushes of this newest indictment against Donald Trump and one million of his closest criminal confidantes, so we’ll cheat off his cheat sheet.
There are:
19 indicted.
One big RICO SUAVE conspiracy, which is the first count, which applies to all 19.
161 overt acts listed in the indictment. The words you will read most in the indictment — 161 times, we guess! — are “This was an overt act in furtherance of the conspiracy.”
To successfully dance a RICO SUAVE under Georgia law, Willis must only prove two (2) of them.
Not every overt act in the conspiracy is, by itself, a crime. Fani Willis explained this in little bitty teeny tiny words even illiterate MAGA cowfuckerpigshits could understand during her press conference last night.
Goddamn TINY words. Watch this video of the tiniest words!
Some of the overt acts are def for real crimes, though, by themselves, and they got separate charges. That’s numbers two through 41 in the indictment, which are attributed to the specific people who allegedly did those specific crimes.
Got that? Count one is the big RICO SUAVE XXXPIRACY. Two through 41 are individual crimes that were part of it. Because yes, some things really are RICO conspiracies.
OK. Those are some bullet points to keep in mind.
Please specifically keep in mind the one about how not every part of a conspiracy has to be a crime BY ITSELF to be part of a criminal conspiracy. The MAGA mouthbreathers are all over the place right now pretending this is some new novel legal concept, and also more evidence that the very Republic is crumbling, the rule of law is dead, and if they can do this to Donald Trump, they can do it to any other illegitimate wannabe dictator who tries to overthrow America because being such a dramatically embarrassing election loser makes his peeny-weenus feel small anyone.
We don’t feel like swimming through their dogshit to find 10 instances — they’re all almost the exact same — but here is Sean Davis, who runs the Federalist, with as good an example as any:
Davis lies to his followers, because he knows they are morons who can’t read, and says Trump has been indicted “for tweeting that people should turn on the television.” That they indicted Mark Meadows “for asking for a phone number.” That they “criminally indicted the former GOP state chairman for reserving a room.”
Kids, we read most of the indictment last night. It didn’t say that, and again, as Willis explained above in LITTLE BITTY EENY MEENY MINEY WEENY TEENY words that even a white man who votes Republican could understand, that’s not how RICO conspiracies work. It’s not complicated. Lawyer Andrew Seidel uses the example of buying a gun, which is not by itself illegal. But if you buy a gun to use to rob a bank …
This is their playbook. Just as they are lying about Trump’s federal election-stealing indictment, saying it was about free speech, when literally page two explains in tiny words that it isn’t, they are lying about this one.
Tell these people to set their dicks on fire and eat them every time you hear them say things like this, and then tell them to cry more, because OW OW OW, THEIR DICKS ARE ON FIRE AND THEY’RE EATING THEM.
Here is a handy list of who all is indicted. It is everybody Donald Trump has ever heard of. It is Rudy Giuliani. It is Mark Meadows. It is John Eastman. It is the man whose last name is literally pronounced “Cheese-Bro.” It is homeschooled dumbshit fascist Jenna Ellis, may she be sentenced by God himself to live inside a dutch oven full of Rudy Giuliani’s farts for all eternity. It is Kraken crazypants Sidney Powell. It is other people you haven’t heard of.
Also, remember how we said DA Willis only has two prove two (2) (dos) (zwei) (٢) of the overt acts to show a conspiracy? We really like “Act 1,” so named because it’s the first one she lists out of the 161. It really sets the scene, wethinks:
“On or about the 4th day of November 2020, DONALD JOHN TRUMP made a nationally televised speech falsely declaring victory in the 2020 presidential election. Approximately four days earlier, on or about October 31, 2020, DONALD JOHN TRUMP discussed a draft speech with unindicted co-conspirator Individual 1, whose identity is known to the Grand Jury, that falsely declared victory and falsely claimed voter fraud. The speech was an overt act in furtherance of the conspiracy.”
Smart people are pretty sure “unindicted co-conspirator Individual 1” is Judicial Watch idiot Tom Fitton. Funny how that guy’s name always comes up when people are discussing non-lawyers Trump takes legal advice from because they have big muscles and look hot on TV.
We are not a lawyer either, but it does kind of feel to us like if Trump was PRACTICING SPEECHES FALSELY DECLARING VICTORY AND LYING ABOUT VOTER FRAUD DAYS BEFORE THE ELECTION EVEN HAPPENED, that is indeed kind of an overt act.
Now she just gotta prove one more, like the one where Rudy Giuliani went to Walmart and bought a dildo and wrote “FRAUDS” on it and mailed it to the Georgia legislature.
(That’s not a real one.)
(But no one would be surprised if it was.)
DA Willis has given the fuckers until August 25 to surrender of their own volition, and she wants the trial to happen within six months.
Let the flipping begin!
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
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Since Fani Willis obliged us by dropping the indictments by mid-August, I guess I'm hitting you with a double recipe in September; buttermilk scones, and cheese scones - perfect for an afternoon tea in celebration of Late Summer Indictmas.
And I might use a good, strong, red cheese... These scones will be so orange they could run for the GOP Presidential nomination and some of the rubes might accidentally vote for them.
"Tell these people to set their dicks on fire and eat them every time you hear them say things like this, and then tell them to cry more, because OW OW OW, THEIR DICKS ARE ON FIRE AND THEY’RE EATING THEM." Classic Evan! 🤣🍆🔥🔥😋🤣