Please Sign Petition To Tell Taylor Swift To Stop Accidentally Opening Hellmouth
Look what you made the demons do.
There are a lot of threats right now, and they are all directed at America’s powerless white conservative Christians. There’s that tree in Wisconsin with devil words on it, and it’s murdering all the Christians (probably, will look up later to check). Now it turns out Taylor Swift is summoning the demons.
Worse? She may not even know she’s doing it.
JoeMyGod directs us to the extremist Catholic LifeSiteNews, which has a petition to ask Taylor Swift to please stop doing demon shit, even if only by accident. Shake them off, TAYLOR.
This is especially important considering how Swift’s concert film starts streaming on her birthday December 13, which could also be an important demon’s birthday, you don’t know.
An exorcist priest — shut up, stop laughing — named Fr. Dan Reehil explained what is happening at the Taylor Swift concerts, and the Catholic website ChurchPop — shut up, stop laughing — is dutifully sharing his wisdom. It’s just one song in the concert, he says, the song called “Willow,” and, well:
As Swift performs the song “Willow” from her “Evermore” album, the singer and her dancers dress in black capes and dance with orbs. Elements of Earth and fire are also a central part of the performance.
Uh oh. The orbs.
Diocese of Nashville exorcist Father Dan Reehil told ChurchPOP why the concert, which includes this performance, could spiritually endanger attendees.
He also explains how the “Willow” performance mimics witchcraft with its use of Earth, fire, black capes, and orbs.
Reehil says those who practice witchcraft “harness energy or they try to harness energy, and they look at the Earth with the elements of water, fire, Earth, and sky. They believe that they can harness this energy in some ways to do good and in some ways to do evil.”
Wait, is Taylor Swift doing witchcraft? Is she an orb-handler? Doesn’t matter, says this serious person who is not crazy:
“The problem with the concert is that whether Taylor knew she was trying to imitate witches or in fact was doing some kind of a cult ceremony during the show is sort of irrelevant to the demons,” Father Reehil continues.
Irrelevant to the demons.
“She is an incredibly talented and influential artist. And so the demons will take deep note of what she’s doing and how she’s doing it and who she’s influencing.”
The demons have their notebooks open, they’re seeing how Taylor is doing the orbs, yep. Writing down who likes it.
“So when they imitate these rituals with these orbs and these black capes, that looks like something you'd find in the woods.”
And Taylor Swift also has a song called “Out Of The Woods,” and the video is kinda spooky too! Wonder if the demons have seen it.
Back to Exorcist Dan:
“Even if her intent was not to practice any witchcraft or do any of the incantations, she is probably attracting a lot of demons to her concerts.”
Oh shit, that’s how they gitcha.
“Look what you made me do,” sang along, didst the demons.
Of course, they probably had to go through the ticket lottery and presale nightmares just like everybody else, so if they got seats they deserve them as much as anybody. Not sure what Exorcist Dan is so wee-wee-d up about here.
Reminder, this is a grown man who believes what he is talking about is real.
“That’s where the problem can lie because then you have these little girls who you know literally sort of worship her who are now putting themselves in a position where they could be attacked by demonic forces.”
Through the orbs.
“So not saying that’s going to happen to everybody, but you’re definitely putting yourself in a very dangerous situation if you’re going to a concert where there’s somebody who’s imitating or even practicing the art of witchcraft. I would say don’t do it. Skip the concert.”
You might be fine. You might get attacked by demons.
Don’t go to the thing you enjoy, little girls, says the stranger danger who says he’s from the Church and he’s here to help.
These are such fucked up people.
The petition notes that Taylor Swift said the words “casting spells” on Twitter, and whines that in Rio, they welcomed Swift to town by dressing up the Christ the Redeemer statue as a Swiftie. (It was hilarious.)
If any of this bothers you, you may sign the petition, and also you are a giant freak.
But sure, you may watch the video of Exorcist Dan telling little girls not to go see Taylor Swift, because of the demons and the orbs.
Totally normal.
OPEN THREAD.
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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Saw the dentist today and did not get to bring my new teeth home. But this was the last step and I was told definitely that once they come back from the lab(some parts were wax, they will be made permanent) after this last round of measurements that I would be taking them home. My dental student told me I should have them by Dec. 15. Implants will start after the New Year.
The best thing was what I tried today fit great and looked really good. And the most amazing thing was I could speak clearly. I could easily pronounce the letter F. Hearing myself speak clearly like that was something I hadn't even thought about. It has me emotional.
And they actually fit. The bottom has a little looseness to leave room for the implants but even with that they fit better than I had dared hope. I am just gonna sit here and sob good tears for a bit.
FYI, Dec 13th is in hard fact a demon’s birthday—mine!