Polygraphs! Purges! FBI Gets KGB Under Patel And Bongino
But they'll release new Epstein files any day now, you betcha!
Ugh, the same day as a horrific terrorist attack on pro-Israel protesters in Boulder, Colorado, new reporting from the New York Times portrays the FBI as a nightmare place to work, with FBI director Kash Patel and his deputy Dan Bongino running the place like the KGB, or Diddy’s staff. How we pine for the days when adults were in charge!
No wonder Bongino, MAGA’s meatiest meathead, sounds like he’s on the verge of divorce and tears, as it all sounds very tiring.
Ah, the whines of a guy who once said “Libs are the biggest pussies I've ever seen.”
Irony indeed! Poor guy, now he has to do a job that’s harder than riffing on conspiracy theories from his soundproofed home closet. Now he must spend all day cheek-to-jowl with Kash Patel, listening to whatever unholy things he is doing to the sink in his office. He misses his podcast, and his laundry-doing wife, who we guess did not follow him to Washington, for some reason.
Rooting out subversives takes it out of a guy! First there was sending questionnaires out to all 37,000 FBI employees, demanding they self-confess any involvement with investigations into Donald Trump and/or January 6.
PREVIOUSLY!
Then there was disbanding the Washington field office’s federal public corruption squad and gutting leadership, including heads of field offices and leaders overseeing national security, intelligence, criminal and cyber response, information technology, science and technology and human resources departments. And they disproportionately demoted female agents or forced them to retire, NO GIRLS ALLOWED, and fired other agents with no explanation at all.
Now the FBI also has to occupy itself defending against lawsuits, because it’s against the rules for civil servants to be fired without cause, or in retaliation for doing their jobs, or to have their names threatened to be released so they can be doxxed and threatened by lunatics. Nine agents are class-action suing for an injunction, on behalf of the 6,000-ish agents who worked on January 6 cases, noting that “the very act of compiling lists of persons who worked on matters that upset Donald Trump is retaliatory in nature, intended to intimidate FBI agents and other personnel, and to discourage them from reporting any future malfeasance and by Donald Trump and his agents.” Yes, that is the point!
The FBI agents also claimed that some of their names and addresses have already been leaked to the dark web, subjecting them to harassment, which is apparently the “naming and shaming” that Ed Martin, the former interim US attorney for the District of Columbia, now “Weaponization Czar” of the new “Weaponization Working Group,” has been so openly eager slobbering for. Super.
A similar case from seven agents is also asking the court for “protection” from the Justice Department’s “anticipated retaliatory decision to expose their personal information for opprobrium and potential vigilante action by those who they were investigating.”
But, seemingly confident that the Supreme Court will eventually sanction whatever fascist loyalty-purging methods they’re choosing to use, Meathead and QAnon-adjacent kook/children’s book series author Patel are now doubling down on purging, with agents reportedly being hooked up to polygraphs and pressured to self-confess to leaking or disloyalty to the regime. Polygraph results are inadmissible in courts, and long discredited as a reliable method to tell if someone is lying, but they’re a good enough tool for trying to intimidate anyone thinking about criticizing Dear Leader.
And, Bongino says, they haven’t gotten around to hiring any replacements for the departed yet, either.
“The director and I will have most of our incoming reform teams in place by next week,” Bongino X’d last week. “The hiring process can take a little bit of time, but we are approaching that finish line.” Not to mention the training time! The dozens of agents who have left took decades of experience with them. But you don’t need experience to serve Trump the Wizard, obviously! In fact, it’s a disadvantage now. Blind loyalty is all that matters.
The New York Times, in its understated way, says that all of this purity purging is causing “unease” and “worrisome upheaval.”
One senior official was forced out, he said, because he had not disclosed to Patel that his wife had taken a knee during demonstrations protesting police violence in 2020, meaning that the FBI’s creeping goes as far as digging through agents’ family members’ social media posts for BADTHINK. “Unease” seems rather mild for the feeling one would have knowing that people like Dan Bongino are watching your family.
Meanwhile, similar purging is going on all over the DOJ, with at least two dozen prosecutors fired or resigning for sins such as previously working under Jack Smith, or not opening fake investigations based on Project Veritas fever-dream sequences, or agreeing to restore Mel Gibson’s gun rights.
DOJ Prosecutor Won't Use Project Veritas Fever Dream Sequences To Open Fake Invesigations, Resigns
At the same time, the QAnon nuts seem to be turning on Patel and Bongino. Where are these arrests of Satanic pedophiles drinking blood? Where are the Epstein files that they were promised? The military tribunals? Any day now, you betcha! Last week Patel and Bongino teased their fancies with the bombshell announcement that there was new information that Epstein really did commit suicide, a 180-degree reversal from the Epstein conspiracy theories Bongino himself had been pushing for years on his podcast.
Now, Bongino says, “There’s video clear as day. He’s the only person in there and the only person coming out. You can see it.” Interesting, since Epstein died on the watch of the last Trump administration, and the DOJ swore that there was no video, and all footage had been accidentally erased. But now, Bongino says, they’ve found footage, which they’re going to release “shortly.” Also he’s going to investigate that bag of cocaine found in the Biden White House in 2023, and the January 6 pipe bomber, and the leak of the Supreme Court Dobbs case, and the origins of COVID, you betcha! And ONE of these cases is going to lead to a major announcement in DAYS. Sure, Jan.
Still, Bongino’s X feed is full of disgruntleds. “You cannot be trusted!” “Where’s the Epstein list?” “We’re starting to loose trust.” [sic] “[B]een over two weeks now since you said within two week. knew you guys were lying. used to respect you. Now your just another bitch ass comprimised liar.” [sic again]
Tough crowd! But, the nice thing about having a king is only having to answer to one opinion.
How much you wanna bet that even as they clean the house, Ka$h and Oingo Boingo are getting played by career FBI officials?
Bongino also complained that J. Edgar's gowns hardly fit.