Poor Peaceful Maligned Donald Trump Fantasizes About Liz Cheney And Firing Squad

Is that fine?

Do your worst. I won’t talk. Except to demand you feed me now. Meow. MEOW! Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

At a rally/“interview” with Goebbels cosplayer Tucker Carlson Thursday, Donald Trump continued his campaign to prove that he has no fascist thoughts of any kind, explaining at length and in detail that it would be pretty cool if Liz Cheney was about to be shot to death, and that’d learn her not to be a “war hawk” or to criticize Donald Trump.

Before an audience in the Phoenix suburb of Glendale, Arizona, Trump mused about the sort of karmic justice he’d like to see for that nasty woman. As usual with Trump, the coverage has mostly been sanewashed by excerpting only the stuff about Liz Cheney. Here’s the full eight-minute rambling mess from C-SPAN. We will only type up the relevant stuff — call it sanewashing, but it’s less exhausting!

CARLSON: Is it weird for you to see Liz Cheney — that’d be Dick Cheney’s repulsive little daughter — running against you with Kamala Harris?

TRUMP: Well, I think it hurts Kamala a lot, actually. Look, she’s a deranged person. The reason she doesn’t like me is that she wanted to stay in Iraq, she wanted to stay, she wants to — you know, tough, tough person, people get killed all over, she’s [lowers voice] real tough — they’re not the tough people.

Just a quick fact check: Cheney is indeed, like her father Darth, a big fan of doing war! It also has fuck-all to do with her opposition to Trump, which stems from her strange belief that America’s laws and Constitution matter more than Donald Trump’s desire to rule without constraint. Also, she doesn’t seem to care for the fact that he already tried to kill her — and the rest of Congress! — once.

Trump then ranted at great length about how he personally made Cheney lose her seat in Congress after she co-chaired the House January 6 Select Committee (which he didn’t mention) and came back to the stuff about her wanting to be at war forever when he brilliantly ended all the wars she wanted. But Trump’s still mad America didn’t “take the oil” from Iraq, because we won and the country belonged to us then. He ranted about Iran and Iraq warring forever, and slammed John Bolton and Dick Cheney, both horrible people, and the costs of the wars on terrorism, and something something Scooter Libby, who was treated so badly by Bush, so badly, so Trump pardoned him. It was a five- or six-minute digression. But despite his dislike of Dick Cheney for all the wars, Trump also muttered that he didn’t blame him “for sticking with his daughter, but his daughter is a very dumb individual, very dumb.”

That’s just the summary! You can see why not all of it made the news, which has finite time and space limits. Eventually, Trump got to the part that really excited him: Imaginary humiliation and death for that terrible woman.

TRUMP: She’s a radical war hawk. Let’s put her with the rifle standing there with nine barrels shooting at her. OK, let’s see how she feels about it. You know, when the guns are trained on her face.

You know they’re all war hawks when they’re sitting in Washington in a nice building saying, oh gee, well let’s send, let’s send 10,000 troops right into the mouth of the enemy. But she’s a stupid person, and I used to have meetings […] and she always wanted to go to war with people.

And then our fingers fell off.

Maybe Trump was fantasizing about Liz Cheney facing a firing squad for her crimes, or maybe it was Trump’s version of Twilight Zone irony, where the nasty woman who wants wars all the time is outnumbered on a battlefield, that’d be so cool, wouldn’t it, she would definitely not talk so tough then, would she!!

Crom help us, we’re reminded (spoiler warning) of the ending of Flannery O’Connor’s “A Good Man Is Hard to Find” — not that Trump has ever read anything, ever —where the evil serial killer reflects on the hypocritical old grandmother he’d just murdered, who only realized as she faced her own mortality that we’re all God’s fallen children:

“She would have been a good woman,” The Misfit said, “if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life.”

Anyway, Trump is no wimpy literary guy, he just thinks his enemies need their comeuppance is all.

On Twitter, Cheney said that Trump’s comments illustrated

how dictators destroy free nations. They threaten those who speak against them with death. We cannot entrust our country and our freedom to a petty, vindictive, cruel, unstable man who wants to be a tyrant.

Trump’s campaign responded in a statement that Trump wasn’t making any threats, heavens no, he was simply “talking about how Liz Cheney wants to send America’s sons and daughters to fight in wars despite never being in a war herself,” unlike Cadet Bone Spurs, who may have dodged the draft but did face his own personal Vietnam when he risked getting herpes from women he picked up at Studio 54 in the ‘70s, grabbed ‘em by the pussy, and then slept with them, whether they liked it or not.

Oh dear, we’re mixing up all the words again. Trump certainly didn’t mean that either, and a second statement from the campaign clarified that he was indeed simply sundowning into the Twilight Zone, and “was clearly describing a combat zone.”

So let’s be clear: Donald Trump will not send the military after Liz Cheney to execute her. He just imagines her being in combat like she deserves, getting separated from her platoonmates after they fragged Lt. Neidermeyer, and then she’s killed not by the nine guns but actually when a helicopter crashes on her and John Landis gets sued for it. Or perhaps it’s we who have come unstuck in time.

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[AP / CNN]

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