Discover more from Wonkette
Republican Senators Now Openly Losing Their Shit At Tommy Tuberville And His Troop-Hating Anti-Abortion Crusade
Will they do anything about it? Unclear.
Is it possible Republican senators have finally gotten fully fed up with Coach Dumbfuck McFootballHick and his anti-American crusade against the US military? Could they finally be pissed off to do something about it? We are not sure, but they seem mad.
To recap: Tommy Tuberville of Alabama, the stupidest, most foul living Alabama man, is so ignorant he thinks the Pentagon’s abortion policies make Jesus angry, and that Jesus has chosen him — how far down the list do you get before you call that guy for help? — to fix it. The Pentagon is now willing to help servicemembers with travel expenses if they need abortions while they are stationed in fascist hellholes without healthcare access, ever since the illegitimate partisan hack Supreme Court decided to overrule decisions made by patients and doctors.
Therefore Tuberville has been holding up hundreds of military nominations in the Senate for months and months now — since February — which is harming national security and military readiness at a time when that’s really not fucking OK.
Last night, some Republican senators finally totally lost their shit. Specifically Dan Sullivan of Alaska, Joni Ernst of Iowa, Todd Young of Indiana, and Lindsey Graham of lives in a cul-de-sac inside Donald Trump’s rectal caverns. And in the process of trying to get 61 nominees up for votes, they yelled at that dumbfuck Tuberville for five hours.
“Xi Jinping is loving this. So is Putin," Sullivan said at one point, referring to top leaders in China and Russia. "How dumb can we be, man?”
As dumb as Tommy Tuberville, that’s where the bar is, this is happening because he is so malevolently stupid.
“The key is you put a hold on someone who typically has some kind of control over the issue you’re trying to fix,” Sullivan said. “Why are we putting holds on war heroes?”
How can you expect Tommy Tuberville to understand things senators understand? He is just a stupid coach trying to do a real person’s job, after all. (Sullivan was referring to some idea he has where they hold up this one political DoD appointee named Derek Chollet, instead of war heroes.)
“No matter whether you believe it or not, Senator Tuberville, this is doing great damage to our military,” [Lindsey Graham] said. “I don’t say that lightly; I’ve been trying to work with you for nine months.”
At one point, Graham really grew a spine, talking about a woman named Laura Lenderman, who Politico Playbook explains is set to be promoted to lieutenant general and deputy commander of Pacific Air Forces
"You just denied this lady a promotion — you did that," Graham snarled, launching into a tirade about how Tuberville is setting a new precedent of holding service member advancements hostage over policy disagreements — one that Democrats could adopt someday when Republicans control the White House. “Who the hell wants to serve in the military when your promotion can be canned over something you have nothing to do with? … If you think it’s illegal, go to court!”
These senators read out names and bios for all these honorable men and women in the military, who just need to be confirmed for goddamn promotions. And Tuberville just objected every time.
Dan Sullivan called Tuberville’s dumbfuck crusade a “national security suicide mission.” He said Tuberville is putting America in danger.
It’s a shame Tommy Tuberville hates America so much he’s siding with literally all our enemies.
Here are some videos of Republican senators yelling, don’t watch them if you can’t handle the cognitive dissonance of Lindsey Graham using his powers for good:
Wonkette is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
The Washington Post notes that this is all coming not only against the backdrop of the rapidly intensifying war between Israel and Hamas, but also just after Gen. Eric Smith, the commandant of the Marine Corps, had some kind of cardiac arrest emergency this weekend. Before he was finally confirmed in September, his job was empty. The number two job is currently sitting empty.
The Post further notes that Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has a Democratic plan on the table to stuff a football up Tuberville’s ass and go around him, changing the Senate rules so they can vote on a bunch of Joe Biden’s nominees en masse, but will enough Republicans now go along with it for it to pass in the un-democratic Senate? Unclear.
“Patience is wearing thin with Senator Tuberville on both sides of the aisle,” Schumer said. “What happened with the Marine commandant just showed many people how dangerous” Tuberville’s gambit has proved. The majority leader said he is “very optimistic” that the resolution will pass once put to a vote, but when asked when that could happen, he responded: “We’ll see.”
Is Tommy Tuberville smart enough to listen to his own Republican colleagues and perhaps shove that football up his own stupid ass and stop trying to accomplish things God clearly didn’t give him the mental equipment to accomplish?
“We’re not going to start backing up now just because people are starting to start to get cold feet … on my side” of the political aisle, [he said.] He held firmly to this position as the evening’s theatrics wore on, declaring “I object” each time as his GOP colleagues, most with military backgrounds themselves, proposed an individual officer for a promotion.
In related Tuberville news, he recently blamed Democrats for starting the war in Ukraine (Putin propaganda is what that is) and for starting the war in Gaza (HEEEEEENGHHHH? is what that is) so again, that is the level of stupid at play here.
Tommy Tuberville's Little Dumbass Anti-Abortion Game Doing Great Things For Military Readiness, Alabama
Military Secretaries Just Wishing Tommy Tuberville Would Stop Literally 'Aiding And Abetting' America's Enemies
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.