Republicans Shower Tim Walz With Burns They Don't Even Know Are Compliments
Don't threaten us with a good time!
When Kamala Harris announced that Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz would be her running mate, we knew Republicans would immediately try their best to go after him. And what they’ve come up with so far … is absolutely fantastic. For us, anyway.
Leading the charge has been MAGA chud (and noted Black American Woman) Joey Mannarino, who just might be a little confused about what people find off-putting.
Like this picture of Tim Walz with his family!
What a burn! It’s … a relatively normal looking family. Even his acolytes were confused about what it was they were supposed to be mad at. Turns out, even he didn’t know, and thought others might find “problems” with it for him.
He also posted this very nice picture of Tim Walz and his rescue dog, Scout, whom he clearly loves so, so much, all dressed up for the Pride parade.
“Tim Walz dressed his dog up for a Pride parade,” he wrote, adding “And he’s basically a Somalian. I won’t say the rest, but I hope that dog is okay.”
Yeah, I’m pretty sure the dog is okay, you absolute creep.
The main thing Republicans came up with, however, was #TamponTim, in which they are all railing against the fact that Walz signed a bill that would subsidize menstrual products at schools — which makes sense not only as a way to combat period poverty, but also because, you know, sometimes you get your period at school and you don’t have a tampon or a pad. Girls often don’t have regular cycles until a few years in, so … oh my God, I should not have to explain this! It’s a great thing that he did! 10/10, no notes.
But the narrative the Right is putting out is that the bill “requires” schools to put tampons in the boys’ restroom. It does not. It doesn’t require them to be in any particular place, actually.
Here is the whole text of the bill:
A school district or charter school must provide students with access to menstrual products at no charge. The products must be available to all menstruating students in restrooms regularly used by students in grades 4 to 12 according to a plan developed by the school district. For purposes of this section, "menstrual products" means pads, tampons, or other similar products used in connection with the menstrual cycle.
That’s such a great bill! I’m sure it’s very appreciated, because we all know it sucks to have to do that walk to the nurse’s office and then come up with an excuse for why you took so long or are late to class.
Now, there was one weird Republican guy who wanted to put something explicit in the bill to make it clear that these menstrual products were for the girls’ bathroom, only — but given the absolute absurdity of that idea, it was not included.
Honestly though — like what do they think is going to happen? Someone will put tampons in the boys’ restroom and then all of the cis boys will start menstruating? That trans boys will feel welcome in the boy’s room? What is their issue here? Do they think the sight of a tampon is enough to make one’s dick fall off? What?
Then there was their next sick burn: Tim Walz is like this beloved, much-missed comedian.
Yes, here’s Ben Shapiro comparing Walz to beloved comedian Chris Farley.
Seriously, though, what’s the insult here supposed to be?
I don’t know what year or reality these people think they are living in, but in the one the rest of us are living in, people are not freaked out over gay people and tampons and … Chris Farley quite the way they are.
If this is the best they’ve got, it looks like we’ve got the best guy for the job. Don’t threaten us with a good time!
About his dog: "Scout was rescued from Midwest Animal Rescue, after being found in a box next to a high-kill shelter in Oklahoma. Walz had actually promised his son that they could adopt a pup if he won the 2018 gubernatorial election. "We were in the room on Election Night, and the folks were in there, and it came on TV they called the race, and Gus immediately screamed, "I get a puppy!'" Walz said, per Fox 9. And so the following year, Walz made good on his promise and adopted a then-3-month-old Scout in 2019." https://www.distractify.com/p/tim-walz-pets
It's too bad the RNC already happened, because I would totes sit outside and throw tampons (wrapped and new, of course, I'm not a gross jerk) at the attendees and watch them absolutely melt down. So weird, so delicate.