RFK Jr. And Javier Milei Plot 'Alternative' World Health Organization
To be led by Gwyneth Paltrow and the ghost of Milei's dog, Conan.
Hide your kids, hide your whales — Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is wielding a chainsaw once again.
The Health and Human Services Secretary took a trip to Argentina this week in order to hang out with a world leader nearly as batshit as our own. To what end? To participate in a deeply unsettling photoshoot and to discuss establishing an “alternative” World Health Organization, now that Milei has followed in Trump’s footsteps and withdrawn from the organization.
“The WHO’s handling of the COVID-19 pandemic revealed serious structural and operational shortcomings that undermined global trust and highlighted the urgent need for independent, science-based leadership in global health,” read a joint statement between Kennedy and Argentine Minister of Health Mario Lugones.
“There are well-documented concerns regarding the early management of the pandemic and the risks associated with certain types of research. Rather than ensuring timely transparency, the WHO failed to provide critical access to information, impairing countries’ ability to act swiftly and effectively, with devastating global consequences,” it continued.
They mean “lab leak.” They wanted the WHO to blame the pandemic on “lab leak.” While the WHO has acknowledged that it was not as prepared as it should have been for a global pandemic, telling people, without evidence, that a lab leak was responsible for the virus getting out would have done nothing at all to prevent “devastating global consequences.”
Conservatives are especially furious at the World Health Organization for having recommended the lockdowns that saved who knows how many lives, and for saying that COVID-19 likely originated in bat populations in Chinese markets, instead of saying that they came from a lab leak in China, just because there was not sufficient evidence to say that. To be clear, despite the fact that the Right has taken a victory lap on this, insisting that it’s now been “confirmed” that COVID-19 originated in the Wuhan lab, and even going so far as to claim this on government websites, the prevailing theory among actual scientists and researchers is still that it originated in the wildlife trade.
However, by not jumping to conclusions and immediately saying that the virus originated in a lab and was leaked, the WHO deprived conservatives of precious time during which they could have been shitty to Asian Americans — or made them feel bad about doing so anyway.
Their other major complaints about the WHO’s actions during the COVID pandemic were the lockdowns, masking, social distancing, and the existence of the vaccines, so it is not remotely fucking clear what a US-Argentine Health Organization would do in such a situation, other than “absolutely nothing.”
In a post to Xitter, Kennedy stated that their new “international health organization” will rely on “gold-standard science,” which I think we can fairly assume means “whatever internet cranks decide is true.”
Thus, instead of actual scientists, who may not be able to immediately provide him and them with answers and explanations they find emotionally and politically satisfying, it’s likely that those performing this “gold standard science” will include the ghost of Conan, Milei’s dead English mastiff with whom he is in regular contact via a psychic medium; the five clones of said English mastiff, from whom Milei regularly seeks advice on political and economic matters; a selection of homeopaths, or just one, in case they are also more effective when diluted (deluded?); that family who went around telling people to drink their magic bleach to cure COVID (just as soon as they get their Trump pardons); psychic healers; barber surgeons; the Health Ranger; Gwyneth Paltrow; your friend from high school who keeps trying to get you to buy essential oils from the MLM she joined; anti-sunscreen influencers; and that one lady who claims to have changed her eye color from brown to blue by eating only raw food.
Kennedy also claimed that the new organization will be free of “totalitarian impulses, corruption, and political control” — which is certainly a take, given the totalitarian impulses of both the US and Argentine governments and both Trump and Milei’s tendency towards corruption. Is it possible to combine crypto scams and health woo? Probably!
This is definitely not going to end well for Americans, or for Argentinians — guess we just have to hope that their crystals are powerful enough to get us through the next four years without another worldwide pandemic.
PREVIOUSLY ON WONKETTE!
That guy looks like a Dudley Moore impersonator, but RFK Jr does not look like Peter Cook.
1/10, would not watch again.
Libertarianism is thought cancer.