Rudy Giuliani Disbarred And Liquidating

Isn't it nice when bad things happen to bad people?

Well, here’s a nice thing! Creepy old pervert Rudy Giuliani and his horse teeth just got disbarred in New York! It’s a long-overdue and well-earned kick in the nards for the former NYC mayor and US Attorney for the Southern District of New York. Also yesterday, while facing possible contempt from the bankruptcy court, he converted his chapter 11 bankruptcy to chapter 7, so his assets can be liquidated in a process overseen by a trustee. Sad horn noises!

Roodles’ law license was suspended in New York in 2021, after the Appellate Division found that his blarblings and fartings of false claims about how the 2020 election was stolen from former President Dickweed J. Trump “threatened the public interest, democracy, and the legal profession.”

In their decision, the Appellate Division recounted how he lied that people were brought from Camden, New Jersey, to vote illegally in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He lied that 30,000 dead people voted, including boxer Joe Frazier, who died in 2011. He lied that non-citizens voted in Arizona. He lied about voting machines being manipulated in Georgia, that votes had been altered, and that Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss were “serial criminals.” He lied that felons had voted in Georgia, and underaged people voted. He lied that in Michigan, trucks delivered ballots in garbage receptacles and paper bags. Lied that he had recordings of 1000 people admitting to committing fraud in the 2020 election, and that 2,000 affidavits attesting to firsthand knowledge of fraud had been filed. Lied that Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger said the election was perfect, and when busted, Rudy claimed that “the postelection stress he was under may have affected his memory and caused him to misspeak.”

Yep, that’s a lot of fucking lies! 

The grilled-cheese-faced fraudster is also facing disciplinary proceedings from the bar discipline committee in Washington DC, which has recommended his disbarment. And then there’s his indictments in Arizona and Georgia, though the Supreme Court’s bullshit The President Is A King decision may throw a wrench in them.

So now he’s officially disbarred, and liquidating, like so much shoe polish melting down a liver-spotted temple. His request to file chapter 7 came a day after lawyers for his creditors asked the judge in his bankruptcy case to hold him in contempt and make him possibly pay sanctions, because he and his “business associate” Maria Ryan (aka the married lady he’s allegedly schtupping) refused to produce any business or personal documents. A bankruptcy that he himself asked the court for that he wouldn’t cooperate with. His little Roodles-a-roo shell game to avoid the schlong of consequences was getting a little too obvious to ignore.

That whiny bag of Scotch had griped that no accountant would work with him, probably because he wouldn’t give them shit to work with. Probably because he was up to so much hinky shit! His creditors claimed he was “funneling funds that belong to his creditors to his business and using his business as a personal piggy bank, which is fraudulent.” And, he hid the fact he was getting income from Rudy Coffee, and apparently also about a “talent services agreement” with screaming wackadoo MyPillow guy Mike Lindell’s app, worth $180k, because Rudy’s just such a talented guy. 

Somehow, for reasons still mysterious, Roodles was unable to stick to a $43,000-a-month budget, with expenses that included $5,000 in alimony, $425 for “personal care products and services,” plus “60 transactions on Amazon, multiple entertainment subscriptions, various Apple services and products, Uber rides and payment of some of his business partner’s personal credit card bill,” and still, thousands of dollars of expenses every month that were simply unaccounted for. 

And there’s his other woes. He still faces lawsuits from Dominion and Smartmatic, and for false arrest from Daniel Gill, the guy who tapped him on the back at a grocery store and said, “What’s up, scumbag?” and was charged with third-degree assault after Giuliani claimed Gill hit him. His former assistant Noelle Dunphy filed a $10 million sexual harassment claim, alleging he said and did things too gross to type in this family mommyblog, but read em yourself, if you can stand it. 

He’s been on the outs with his daughter Caroline for years, and in a 2019 recording, he griped that his son Andrew doesn’t talk to him anymore either, after Giuliani spent two holidays in a row with his married mistress.

Consequences, they still exist sometimes! In these troubled times, it’s a little dose of happiness when bad things happen to that guy.