Secret Recordings Of Alitos Reveal They Are Nuttier Than A Forest Of Acorn Trees
They may be more reluctant to go out in public now, which is a bonus.
There is a new controversy surrounding Supreme Court puke goblin Samuel Alito and his bugfuck insane wife Martha-Ann which we are now compelled to, ahem, flag for your attention. (We see what we did there!)
A week ago, the Alitos attended the Supreme Court Historical Society’s annual dinner, an otherwise-quotidian DC. event that wingnut activists have long used to lobby justices to check off items on the wingnut wishlist. Items like end legalized abortion and outlaw Democrats and install Donald Trump as the Most Holy and Blessed Sun-God King of America Forever, or whatever crazy shit they have been thinking about during the Republican party’s decades-long mass psychosis.
Also attending this year’s dinner was Lauren Windsor, the gonzo prankster who has made a career out of secretly recording conservatives being flat-out trash fires. How did she gain entrance to this soiree? Apparently to become a dues-paying member of the Supreme Court Historical Society and buy a ticket to this dinner, all you need is a couple of hundred bucks and a decent outfit. Though we suspect Windsor’s membership is being revoked as we write this.
Did Windsor sidle up to Sam Alito, recording app on her phone running as is her wont, and capture audio of Alito confirming that behind closed doors, he is exactly what we already assumed him to be? (A partisan asshat.)
She did, and hoo boy is this fun. If you don’t have a subscription to Rolling Stone and you don’t mind giving Elon the clicks, the audio is here:
Justice Samuel Alito spoke candidly about the ideological battle between the left and the right — discussing the difficulty of living “peacefully” with ideological opponents in the face of “fundamental” differences that “can’t be compromised.” He endorsed what his interlocutor described as a necessary fight to “return our country to a place of godliness.” And Alito offered a blunt assessment of how America’s polarization will ultimately be resolved: “One side or the other is going to win.”
Oh, oh, which side do you think he’s rooting for?!
It hardly needs to be said, but Alito’s job is not to help any side “win” the cultural battle and make the country godlier. His job is, in the immortal words of John Roberts, to call balls and strikes, to make dispassionate judgments about the cases in front of him. To at least pretend toward neutrality so that the Court’s decisions can be legitimate in the eyes of society. To, dare we say it, compromise instead of upending decades of precedent and swathes of society.
Alito has not been doing any of this for most of his career. He has been especially off the leash the last few years with the conservative supermajority on the Court, writing or signing on to decisions where the justices just plain make up whatever they want the law to be, even if they have to flat-out lie about the facts of the case in front of them.
What Alito would like is to not have any compromises, but for everyone to shut up instead of questioning him. Especially anyone to his left, which is most everyone.
I'm Sam Alito And I Don't Know What Possessed My Wife To 'Stop The Steal' Like A Dang Ginni Thomas!
How was Windsor going to top this coup? How about if she got Alito’s batshit insane wife, Martha-Ann, on tape at the same dinner? And how about if Martha-Ann sounds like a drunken professor at a faculty party, sort of an Elizabeth Taylor in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf vibe, but somehow even cattier and more unhinged?
Because Windsor did do that, and it was also good. Again, no Rolling Stone? Audio is here, and also right here, because you are legally and ethically required to listen to this one to hear how unpleasant and bugfuck:
Martha-Ann Alito, wife of Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, is incensed about seeing rainbow Pride flags during Pride Month, according to a new recording obtained by Rolling Stone. If it were up to her, she would be flying a Sacred Heart of Jesus flag in response. Or she might design her own flag, one sporting the Italian word for “shame.”
What was that her husband was saying a minute ago about finding a way to live “peacefully” with your ideological opponents? Maybe he can start saying that around the house instead of blurting it out to complete strangers he meets at parties.
Being mad at pride flags was not the only stick up her ass that Martha-Ann proudly waved around to this woman who, again, she had just met five seconds before. At one point she talks about suing the media for defamation when her husband is “free of this nonsense,” by which we assume she means either when he retires and can hang out his freak flag right next to hers, or when he does her a solid and strikes down Sullivan v. New York Times.
“It’s OK. It’s OK, because if they come back to me, I’ll get them. I’m gonna be liberated, and I’m gonna get them.” She adds, “There’s a five-year defamation statute of limitations.” (Most states have a one- or two-year statute of limitations.)
Well, they do now. By the end of the week, we fully expect that some Red State legislatures will be taking up bills eliminating the statute of limitations on libel suits. You know, to own the libs.
In five minutes, Martha-Ann managed to spew a litany of other grievances to Windsor. It was a real Festivus. The hit list included:
Former Washington Post fashion editor Robin Givhan (whom Martha-Ann incorrectly says worked for The New York Times), who wrote something mean about a dress she wore to her husband’s confirmation hearings in 2005. (You know, the one where she fled the room in tears because a couple of senators were being a little harsh in their questioning.
Feminazis who think her husband “should control her.” Hm, leftist women generally are not the ones calling for wives to submit to their husbands, but Martha-Ann was rolling.
The “radical left” for … something? Being dicks? We’re not sure, there was a lot of whining going on.
You absolutely must, must, must hear her talking about the flag she’s imagining putting up with the Italian word for shame on it. You must hear her pronounce VERGOGNA. Because she’s very upset she is going to have to see those Pride flags, on the other side of the lagoon.
Oh, and this is not ominous at all:
When Windsor tells Mrs. Alito she is being persecuted and depicted as “a convenient stand-in for anybody who’s religious,” the justice’s wife gets quieter, and her tone turns more serious: “Look at me, look at me. I’m German. I’m from Germany. My heritage is German. You come after me, I’m gonna give it back to you. And there will be a way — it doesn’t have to be now — but there will be a way they will know.
Oh, this is Goering to be such a media shitstorm. And it couldn’t happen to a nicer couple outside of as Edward Albee play.
Apparently this level of shit-talking is nothing new for Martha-Ann Alito:
Mrs. Alito has for years harbored a disdain and bitterness towards others in the D.C. elite, whom she has bashed for supposedly excluding or shunning her and her husband, and for being too mean about them and their unabashedly conservative beliefs. Sources add that Mrs. Alito also has a longstanding reputation in influential GOP circles for ranting about politics, the culture wars, the Left, and the burning grudges she’s nursed since at least the George W. Bush era.
Are SCOTUS conservatives having a contest for who has the nuttiest spouse? Good God, between Mrs. Alito and Ginni Thomas, the Supreme Court’s Christmas party must be a hoot.
[Rolling Stone / Twitter / Rolling Stone / Twitter]
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"I’m German. I’m from Germany. My heritage is German."
I'm American. I'm from America. My heritage is American. So fuck off, ya Nazi bastard.
The country is not “polarized”. That’s a false narrative. The left is merely reacting to the right’s encroaching authoritarianism.