Last evening Republican vice-presidential nominee JD Vance was given another opportunity to show us all what a forked-tongued, sniveling ass he is, and surprise! Took it again!
Speaking last night after whatever happened at Donald Trump’s golf course on Sunday — the man with the gun didn’t actually have a line of sight to Trump and the only shots fired came from the Secret Service, so maybe we’ll just call it an “assassination concept” rather than an attempt — poor JD Vance just wanted to know what happened to civility.
Speaking after another apparent attempt on Trump’s life, Vance called for a “reduction in the ridiculous and inflammatory political rhetoric.”
“We cannot tell the American people that one candidate is a fascist, and if he’s elected, it is gonna be the end of American democracy,” he insisted.
Hahahahahahahaha, but seriously, fuck you.
There is not enough ink on the internet to discuss “ridiculous and inflammatory political rhetoric” when it comes to Donald Trump, the man who came down his golden escalator in 2015 calling Mexicans rapists and hasn’t stopped talking like a Nazi since. The man who said there were fine people on both sides of a Nazi march in Charlottesville (and if you think that’s been “debunked,” go step on a rake in traffic, you pig, we watched it on live TV).
Donald Trump, who is a walking, talking advertisement for why the names of jurors aren’t released to the public. Trump, who calls the press the “enemy of the people” and delights in inciting anger and hatred toward them during his rallies.
Trump, who literally calls Kamala Harris a fascist all the time, and also a communist, and a Marxist, because he doesn’t know what words mean, and neither do his syphilitic supporters, they just know what words make ‘em real mad, pew pew pew!
Trump and Vance, who are literally currently lying about every Black- and brown-skinned immigrant they can find, especially the Haitian immigrants of Springfield, Ohio, telling stories Vance now admits are made up about how those people are stealing white people’s beloved housepets and eating them.
Donald Trump is also the man who woke up on Sunday morning and had some sort of meltdown that caused him to ALL CAPS on to the internet, “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!” It may sound like it doesn’t quite belong in this list, but it helps paint the picture of what an unhinged old lunatic the man is.
Vance continued:
“I’m not going to say that conservatives always get things exactly right,” he said. “But you know the big difference between conservatives and liberals is that no one has tried to kill Kamala Harris in the last couple of months, and two people now have tried to kill Donald Trump in the last couple of months. I’d say that’s pretty strong evidence that the Left needs to tone down the rhetoric and needs to cut this crap out.”
We’re trying to think of a delicate way to say this, but we don’t feel like trying very hard, so JD Vance can go fuck all the finest couches in hell.
First of all, calling the person who tried to kill Trump in Pennsylvania and the person who was caught in the bushes at Trump’s golf course in Florida “liberals” is just a lie, which is to be expected, because JD Vance is a liar. What the two men appear to be, unsurprisingly, is batshit. But their political histories don’t fit into some kind of tidy box, unless we’re supposed to think somebody who supported people like Vivek Ramaswamy, Nikki Haley, and Tulsi Gabbard is just your garden variety “liberal.”
As for the rest, about the Left’s “rhetoric,” and JD’s whining about Democrats saying that if Trump is elected, it’s “gonna be the end of American democracy,” let us again delicately explain that we’re not going to stop running against Donald Trump’s actions, statements, and record, you pissant motherfucker.
The Trump campaign released this whiny ass statement yesterday full of times Democrats did “rhetoric and lies” against Trump. Let us provide you a flavor:
Got it? It’s Kamala Harris, Joe Biden, Tim Walz, and a bunch of congressional leaders saying Trump is a threat to our democracy and our fundamental freedoms and that Trump is an existential threat and that he and MAGA represent an extremism that threatens the very foundations of our republic.
Guess what? That’s all true! Donald Trump is a wannabe strongman who has nothing but slobber and jizz for more powerful strongmen, who wants to be a dictator just like them, and who is currently under federal indictment for trying to overthrow the nation’s government to overturn the results of an election that hurt his feelings, on account of how he lost it like a dog, like he likes to say so often when he’s demeaning his enemies. He incited his followers to pull off an amateur terrorist attack against the United States Congress, to try to stop the certification of that election.
That all happened!
(You might be surprised to learn, by the way, that the tiny handful of examples in the Trump campaign statement that sound more violent are either taken wildly out of context or just fully misrepresented. For instance, the Stacey Plaskett quote was a verbal stumble.)
Yesterday, Republican Rep. Laurel Lee of Florida bellyached on Fox News that Democrats need to “take responsibility and really think about the consequence of” calling Trump a threat to democracy. Nope. We’re not going to stop running against him and telling the truth about him. Fuck you.
Last night on CNN, wingnut hack Scott Jennings was bellyaching about “this kind of language about somebody being the underpinning of a campaign for years […] the only way to unwind it is for the people who’ve been saying it, chiefly the president and the vice president, to go on TV and say you know what? We went too far, and what we said, honestly, is not true.”
Elie Mystal went ripshit on him, and we want you to watch it.
MYSTAL: I think the Democrats will tamp down their language about Trump THE MOMENT Trump tamps down his language about the Democrats, about immigrants, about people of color, about women, and not a moment before.
JENNINGS: What about, how many, how many times are we gonna shoot at him?
MYSTAL: Is your argument literally that you are not under threat unless somebody directly takes a shot at you, is that actually what you’re saying? Do you have access to Secret Service files about how many threats Harris and Biden have received over the past year, how many threats Barack Obama, the first Black president, received for eight years while he was in the White House? Do you have those Secret Service files, or are you just out here talking because somebody was caught in the bushes on [Sunday]?
Whew. So that’s how Elie Mystal feels about that. And he wasn’t done. “Rhetoric doesn’t kill people. Guns do,” he concluded in the clip above.
When Jennings whined that Harris says Trump “will be a dictator on day one,” Mystal and the panel reminded the fucking idiot that those were his words.
But again, be clear: What JD Vance, the Trump campaign and Republicans are mewling and demanding right now is that Democrats refrain from running against their wannabe dictator, refrain from highlighting his record, his statements, refrain from reminding the American people who he is and the danger he represents to the very existence of this nation.
And again, in case we haven’t been clear: fuck off.
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Democrats: Republicans should stop lying about us
Republicans: Democrats should stop telling the truth about us
Once again, they’re using the Nixon playbook. Call your opponent every slander under the sun, but when they call you out in it, squeal like a stuck pig about how “unfair” they are by quoting you.
“When Republicans stop lying about us, we’ll stop telling the truth about them.” - Adlai Stevenson