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Crip Dyke's avatar

Well. More power to Nicks. And if this moves the needle with even one old witchy woman, I'm happy.

That said, I frequently find myself disappointed in lyrics that have an opportunity to be better. Take this bit:

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Is it a nightmare

Is it a lasting scar

It is unless you save it

And that’s that

Unless you stand up

============

Note the double use of "unless". Unless is a reversal word, and like any double negative, it risks returning you to the status quo ante.

It's a lasting scar ==> unless you save it (when it will not be a lasting scar) ==> unless you stand up (when it will be a lasting scar again).

The funny thing is that without the intervening, "And that's that," it could have simply been repetition for emphasis instead of a double negative. Consider this:

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Is it a lasting scar

It is unless you save it,

Unless you stand up

============

In this case the standing up is a continuation of the previous line, a suggestion for HOW to "save it". But the original interposes the line, "And that's that."

============

It is unless you save it

And that’s that

Unless you stand up

============

The middle line here creates finality, which is the OPPOSITE of continuation. Now it is unnatural to read standing up as the continuation and clarification of saving. A new status quo is established, and so the "unless" -- the negation -- applies to the new status quo, returning us to the older status quo, the status quo before the saving began.

I am no million dollar lyricist, and I am certainly no singer. But to me there's way too much focus on making something sound cool and not enough on making lyrics actually mean something. it's not hard to create a line that works with your anthemic refrain of saving ourselves and standing up against harmful power. The song's name is "The Lighthouse". Okay, so I have problems with associating "dark" with threat and evil b/c of how racism has used that association over the centuries, but I admit that it's a common trope and is used in context where few people other than I would object. So let's go ahead and take the "dark" metaphor seriously as something the Lighthouse needs to oppose. Drop it in your lyrics in place of the problematic phrase and you get this:

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Is it a nightmare,

A dark and lasting scar?

It is unless you save it.

The dark wins,

Unless you stand up

============

Now it scans the same way, same syllables, same stresses, but "nightmare" is associated with sleep and night and thus with dark, the scar is associated with dark through direct description but also because scars are often (not always) but often darker than the tissue around them. The imagery works, is what I'm saying.

Only now not only do you have a consinstent metaphor ringing multiple times, but the "unless" in each of your two anthemic lines of power both oppose that darkness instead of accidentally opposing each other.

Personally, I would also use "heal" instead of "save" (remember "scar" was in the original, I just made the scar "dark" I didn't insert the scar imagery) because healing is more directly opposite to scarring, but that's just me. Pop music does a lot of weird mixing of metaphors. Generally I think the strongest work takes its metaphor seriously and works it consistently throughout the piece rather than constantly changing metaphors along the way, but it's impossible to argue honestly that mixing metaphors is bad per se, given that so many popular and well-reviewed pieces of modern music do just that. So the save/heal switch we can consider entirely optional and a valid stylistic disagreement.

But that double "unless" is just a monstrosity. Objectively so.

Anyway, more power to Nicks, but I have got to start getting myself gigs consulting on lyrics before pop music comes out.

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(((Sedagive in Gehenna)))'s avatar

Now that's a lovely thing.

To borrow a phrase from BLM activist Kimberly Jones: "Men are lucky that women want equality, and not revenge."

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