Sweet baby Jesus, et tu, Washington Post? We expected no better from the New York Times, CNN, or The Daily Mail, but today’s opinion pages are perhaps even worse, acting like Joe Biden stepping down is a done deal.
If President Biden were to decide not to run for reelection, who should replace him? That would be a question for the 4,000-plus delegates in August at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago, but before then, it’s a question for five Post Opinions columnists, who kicked the tires on the options over email this week.
Well, it’s not up to you assholes, so what’s the point? Their Editorial Board even wrote a speech for Biden in which he steps down.
Over the past few days, I have been reflecting on all this. My season of service is nearing its close. This was a hard truth to face. But it is the natural course of things — as evident as the progression from spring to summer, from fall to winter. This is why I have decided to withdraw from the campaign for president of the United States.
Does this Editorial Board not realize that President Clown VonShitzinpants would have them executed on live television the first time they said anything he didn’t like? Maybe they’re just wearing in kneepads for the guillotine? Seriously, what the fuck is going on?
Let’s break it down for those dillholes:
An open convention would be a TERRIBLE idea. So terrible we don’t even really want to talk about it, especially after being kept up by our neurotic dog freaking out at fireworks all night. We’d rather talk about that time Trump was accused of raping a 13-year-old instead. Or how most of what comes out of the moist little hole of that Dickweed’s mouth is a lie or garbage word salad. Or how he’s been chatting with Vlad and promised to give him parts of Ukraine, and how Trump Force One was — like, this week! — parked on the runway next to a Russian plane and a United Arab Emirates plane for many hours. Why is the Washington Post not squealing that he should step down over any one of these things, or the 30,573 lies he told as president? Or how Trump getting elected will be THE END OF THIS COUNTRY, if that didn’t already actually happen with SCOTUS on Monday (was that just Monday, Jeziz?) or when SCOTUS stopped the count on Al Gore.
And this! I would like to talk about this!
Or, we could talk about Joe Biden’s many amazing accomplishments, like getting us out of the pandemic, unfucking the economy, and so on! And how Trump is a LOSING LOSER WHO LOST and can do it again.
But certain mainstream media is treating an open Democratic convention like a real thing, and the issue isn’t going away, so let’s hold our nose and dive in.
The Biden campaign is not transferable. There’s only one candidate with a 2024 committee registered with the FEC. You can’t just white-out Biden’s name on documents and pencil in somebody else. The campaign structure is not transferable. There’d be no web site, no staff, no bank account, no campaign offices, no contracts with vendors, and only six weeks between the convention and November for a new candidate to get their shit together. Anyone but Vice President Kamala Harris would be starting from complete scratch.
Democrats already had a whole primary about this, from January to June, and picked Biden, when he was only somewhere between 1-6 months older than he is now.
It would be against Democratic Party rules. The rules read, “Delegates elected to the national convention pledged to a presidential candidate shall in all good conscience reflect the sentiments of those who elected them.” Attempting to force Biden’s removal against the will of Democratic primary voters by pressuring the delegates to defect at the last minute would be somewhere between UGLY UGLY UGLY, illegal, and a food fight at the dump. The National Committee would have to re-write its rules or just balls-out break them, and there is little time and currently no will for that.
Conservative groups have made it clear they would create an absolute raccoon trash can out of this scenario, forcing Biden’s name to stay on the ballot. They may not have a legal leg to stand on, but all it would take is one Federalfascist society judge to put it on the track to SCOTUS. And this Supreme Court is not going to do shit to help Joe Biden or the Democrats, to put it mildly. Six of them are too busy taking baths in Koch Brother/Leonard Leo/Paul Singer dollars to come to the phone right now. The news would be all about the fighting, and the news needs to be that DONALD TRUMP WILL END DEMOCRACY.
Yes, everybody’s sharting right now. Yes, Joe Biden is old and needs to take naps. And yeah, maybe he’ll die before November! Also maybe I or you will! Nothing is guaranteed in life! Except that an open convention would be an absolute shitshow, so let’s not pretend it should, or even could happen, right now. Off the table!
PREVIOUSLY!
"we don’t even really want to talk about it, especially after being kept up by our neurotic dog freaking out at fireworks all night."
Vet switched Thornton, still recovering from that surgery on his foot (toe removed b/c tumor, clear margins, good news if he'd just stop trying to chew his incision open again) from a pain med that had some sedative effects to a sedative that relieves pain, so he is pretty sacked out.
For the first time in the 5 years I've had him, he didn't spend the 4th hunkering in fear under a shelf in the bathroom. Fireworks? Thornton has no fucks to give. (He's doing well!)
Clearly Marcie drew the short straw this week and has to write all the articles that will drive the most troll engagement.