The Top 10 Ways Kamala Harris Should Make Trump Cry Tonight. Tabs, Tues., Sept. 10, 2024
Tabbiti bobbiti boo.
Tonight! Tonight! Tonight!
It’s the debate! Between Kamala Harris and a babbling felon who still inexplicably has the support of somewhere between 45 and 47 percent of our countrymen, if you believe the polls!
So it is on ABC News. Wonkette will be liveblogging. You will be laughing at our jokes, at least as long as you know what’s good for you. Kamala Harris will be winning. The mics will be off when candidates aren’t speaking, though, because Donald Trump’s babysitters are scared he can’t be an adult for 90 minutes, or can’t refrain from being racist, or a misogynist, or whatever. Also they’re almost certainly frightened of letting Harris, an intelligent prosecutor, go after him, a weak and sad criminal who happens to be devastatingly stupid. Also still no live audience.
It’s at 9 p.m. Eastern, and you can watch it on anything ABC News owns, which includes Hulu and Disney Plus. (If you choose the latter, Donald Trump’s face will be a cartoon speaking through the butthole of the Beast, from Beauty and the Beast! It will be the most accurate we’ve ever seen him.) [Washington Post]
[Also here is Doktor Zoom, beaming in to Evan’s tabs to say I am going to be attending the Boise Dems debate watch party, free registration, but if you can, there’s a suggested $25 donation to the Idaho Democratic State Committee, at The Lounge At the End of the Universe in Boise. Yes, I do plan to bring my towel. Registration and info here if you wanna show up! (It’s ActBlue but there’s a free tix option) Dok out; beam me up, Zaphod!]
Here’s a panel of Fox News idiots trying to tell Donald Trump through the TV screen not to be racist or sexist in his debate tonight. [Mediaite]
Nikki Haley just really wishes Donald Trump wouldn’t call Kamala Harris “dumb.” [KamalaHQ]
Meanwhile, Trump is self-soothing by making up lies about Mark Zuckerberg calling him on the phone and giving him his vote. It’s too bad the media won’t cover Trump’s full slide into dementia, but here we are. [The Hill]
How very shock! Benny Johnson — the one who’s been eagerly taking Russian checks to spread Russian propaganda, but don’t worry, he was too stupid to realize it was happening — is also very eagerly spreading racist debunked bullshit about Haitian immigrants eating family pets in Ohio. Shock! [JoeMyGod]
And Jim Jordan. And more! They’re really going with this. [JoeMyGod]
LMAO, the Michigan Supreme Court says RFK Jr. must remain on the ballot. Hey, crazy people in Michigan who kinda like Trump! Ever heard of this guy RFK Jr.? [Bloomberg]
James Earl Jones has died at 93. [CBS News]
So, uh, here’s Laura Loomer eating dog food. [The Daily Dot]
As we all know, the New York Times used to be a great newspaper. But their recipes are still good sometimes, let’s have some chile crisp fettucine alfredo with spinach, takes only 30 minutes! [New York Times]
Here’s a nice cream of mushroom soup from Food & Wine. And they don’t even do shitty journalism about politics! [Food & Wine]
Over at my Friday place this week, I took a deeper dive into these indictments into the Russians for VERY SECRETLY recruiting some of MAGA’s most popular influencers to VERY SECRETLY spread Russia’s government propaganda, so VERY SECRETLY that the talking windsock “talent” like Benny Johnson and Tim Pool didn’t know about it! I determined that even if they were totally in the dark, they are still fucking trash, and that it was telling how relatively Not Upset they seemed to be to find out they were Russia’s latest Useful Idiots. Come by! Read! Share! Subscribe! [The Moral High Ground / audio version]
OK that’ll be enough tabs, you’ve got your assignments.
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It's true, the name of the derpy dawg is Tabbiti Bobbiti Boo. Your hed gif source info here: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/doggie-downtime?r=angu9&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
And your meme thread: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/7093549d-1008-4b78-8465-fbeecfc3dbec
Colbert:
"Trump has eschewed the use of a podium. Of course he has, he prefers the late great Hannibal Lectern."