The Veepstakes Continues On The Sunday Shows!
We watch so you never have to.
With 54 days before the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, the list of desperate sycophants vice presidential candidates has remained mostly the same. But with Donald Trump busy falling asleep in a Manhattan courthouse, there’s nothing else for would-be veeps to do than take giant swings at being his next loyal lap dog, hopefully without ending up in a South Dakota gravel pit like Kristi Noem’s dogs and career.
The Authoritarian Lane
Ohio Senator Junior Douchecanoe (JD for short) Vance has been called many things: A libertarian political puppet, executive producer of a terrible biopic and a MAGA bootlicker who traded unearned goodwill for a Senate seat. But in his desperation to ascend to be Trump’s chief toady, Vance has decided he will appeal to Trump’s love of authoritarians.
Speaking to Margaret Brennan on CBS’s “Face The Nation,” Vance doubled down on his support for Hungary’s Viktor Orban.
In February, Vance said this to European Conservative:
The closest conservatives have ever gotten to successfully dealing with the left-wing domination of universities is Viktor Orban's approach in Hungary. I think his way has to be the model for us, not to eliminate universities, but to give the choice between survival or taking a much less biased approach to teaching.
Vance, hoping Trump instinctively replaces “Orban” with his own name, lavished more praise on CBS:
VANCE: Well, look, I'm not endorsing every single thing that Viktor Orban has ever done. I don't know everything he's ever done. […] What I do think is, on the university – on the university principle, […] it's a totally reasonable thing.
And I do think that he's made some smart decisions there that we could — we could learn from in the United States.
Vance just thinks we ought to “hand it” to the nationalist totalitarian Orban, we guess.
How Dare You Quote Her Directly!
In a rare moment of journalism, Shannon Bream on “Fox News Sunday” had a heated exchange with New York Rep. Elise Stefanik.
Quoting from a New York Times article, Bream asked Stefanik about her de-evolution into the MAGA goon she is now. To say Stefanik went full-on ballistic is an understatement.
STEFANIK: Well, Shannon, it’s a disgrace that you would quote The New York Times with nameless, faceless, false …
BREAM: But they are quoting your friends …
STEFANIK: … sources …
BREAM: … so I’m giving you a chance to respond …
STEFANIK: … No, no, no … Shannon, Shannon, Shannon … they are not quoting my friends! Those names are not included because they are false smears. I was attacked for being the only Republican …
BREAM: To be fair, there are a number of names …
STEFANIK: … No, Shannon, Shannon, Shannon … No, no, let me correct you. Shannon, let me correct you!
BREAM: People can read it for themselves.
Bream allowed Stefanik a few uninterrupted minutes to tap dance for Trump, but then pulled the rug by quoting one particular named source:
BREAM: Let me ask you, though, because they quote you on a radio station calling him [Trump] “insulting to women.” Is that a misquote? Did you not say that?
Stefanik, doing the millisecond calculation whether to risk lying with a potential existing audio clip out there or admitting the truth, chose a third option.
STEFANIK: I said the statement that the Democrats leaked out in 2016 … that that was insulting. However, Shannon, I stood by supported him [Trump] and I strongly support him.
Trump is only “insulting to women” when the direct Trump quote is being shared/leaked by Democrats. OK.
We guess Stefanik feels about Trump’s misogyny, racism and homophobia the same way some feel about certain beers: It’s only good straight from the tap.
Election Marco Polo
We conclude with Florida Senator Marco Rubio on NBC’s “Meet The Press.”
It’s the simple question that no Republicans are capable of answering ever again!
KRISTIN WELKER: Will you accept the election results of 2024, no matter what happens, senator?
RUBIO: No matter what happens? No. If it's an unfair election, I think it's going to be contested —
WELKER: No matter who wins.
RUBIO: – by either side.
WELKER: Senator, no matter who wins?
Rubio insisted on making false equivalences between criticism in 2016 of election interference (Hillary Clinton, who conceded); or challenging attempts to stop Florida’s legal recount in 2000 (Al Gore, who also conceded); or voter suppression attempts by Republicans (pick an election); and Trump’s (who has yet to concede) overt attempt to overturn the election and overthrow the country in 2021 after losing and exhausting all legal recourses.
Rubio, later that day, posted this video to Twitter trying to continue making the same lie.
We’d call Marco Rubio a sad, empty and extremely thirsty opportunist, but that would be too obvious at this point.
Have a week.
Follow Michael Mora on Bluesky and Threads. (If you are still on Twitter, I’m also HERE)
>> take giant swings at being his next loyal lap dog, hopefully without ending up in a South Dakota gravel pit <<
The Cricket Memorial Gravel Pit is going to be a prominent feature of Wonkette writing for the foreseeable future. Get used to it, because it's not going away like Cricket did.
I hope tfg dangles the veep spot on Rubio to the point that Rubio changes his state residency and then gets fucked over, but I'm an asshole like that.