There Is A Flaw In Jesse Watters's 'Marry Women So They Vote Republican' Plan

No one even wants to date them.

For the last few months, Republicans have been predicting a "Red Wave" (would have gone with Crimson Tide, personally) in this election. Part of this is just strategy — if you act overconfident and talk about how much everyone loves you and wants what you are selling, people will usually just go along with you out of sheer laziness — but many of them also seem to have really believed it and were quite shocked when it, sadly, did not come to pass. 

SAD! Looks Like GOP Governor Candidates Picked The Wrong Election Day To Go MAGA 

Fox News's Jeanine Pirro was heartbroken to discover that while she thought people would be voting on "the economy, inflation, crime" — none of which are problems that electing Republicans would solve — many of them were actually voting on abortion. She shouldn't have been too surprised by this, however, because "the economy, inflation, crime" are the things Republicans started focusing on and insisting this election was about after  Roe v. Wade was overturned and it was widely speculated that it would make things difficult for Republicans this November.

“Jeanine: so many people voted on issues that weren’t the issues we thought they were voting on. We thought it was about the economy, inflation crime..”

— Acyn (@Acyn) 1668032308 

Of course, abortion is also an economic issue, as having a child is a very big economic decision. Some people like to forget that.

Now some of them are already hashing out new strategies for winning upcoming elections. Given that almost the entire country is gerrymandered within an inch of its life to favor Republicans, some of those strategies are pretty, uh, creative.

Jesse Watters, for one, says that the real problem is single women and suggests that men ought to stem this tide by marrying them, so that they then become more conservative.

He said:

Also, single women are breaking for Democrats by 30 points. And this makes sense when you think about how Democrat policies are designed to keep women single.

But once women get married, they vote Republican. Married women, married men go for Republicans by double digits. But single women and voters under 40 have been captured by Democrats. So, we need these ladies to get married. And it's time to fall in love and just settle down. Guys, go put a ring on it.

First — let us note that he does not name any of these policies "designed to keep women single," because that is not a thing and it would be very weird if it were. Clearly what he's referring to are civil rights laws and economic reforms that make it possible for women to be economically independent and not have to rely on a man to survive. He just doesn't want to come right out and say we shouldn't be allowed to have our own credit cards.

Second — correlation isn't causation. It may simply be that conservatives are more likely to get married and to get married at a younger age. Probably because they tend to live in rural areas where there is less to do and more societal pressure to get married in the first place.

Watters is far from the first person to come up with this theory. I've seen similar ideas and variations bandied about in rightwing forums and incel message boards for years. The idea is that by getting rid of the social safety net, outlawing abortion, getting rid of no-fault divorce, and enacting other reforms that make it more difficult for a woman to be economically independent, wild single liberal women will be forced to settle down and therefore will become more conservative and more likely to vote Republicans.

Third — there is one very big thing standing in their way, and that is the fact they are so incredibly unfuckable.

This is not just me saying this, though it is also me saying this. One of the more delightful news stories that pops up every now and again is the woeful tale of The Unfuckable Republicans. " Young DC Conservatives: No One Wants to Date Us, " reads one headline from The Washingtonian. " Donald Trump supporters are struggling to find online dates " says the Daily Mail. " The question keeping Trump-loving men up at night ," according to one article on NBC's Think, is "Why won't liberal women date us?" A Pew Research poll found that " Most Democrats seeking a relationship wouldn't date a Trump supporter ." " Conservatives Are Whining Because No One Wants to Date Them " reads a headline from Vice. " National Review's Lament: No One Will F*ck Trump Voters " says one from Wonkette.

Republicans have been throwing a fit for the last several years over the fact that Democrats won't even swipe right on them on Tinder, and Jesse Watters thinks that the solution to their electoral woes is for them to marry us, which will then lead to a glorious electoral victory for the Republican Party several years down the road. That should work out great for them.

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