This Is Actually The Most Insane Thing He's Ever Posted
No, really.
Update on that whole “President Stupid Hitler has rapidly advancing dementia” thing: Well, it’s still happening.
And it might sound nuts to, as our headline suggests, try to pick one tweet or “Truth” from Donald Trump’s long years of mashing his tiny, scaly meat fingers into social media sites to share his incessant opinion and say it’s “the most insane thing” he’s ever posted. But you haven’t seen what he posted last night.
And yes, we know December 1 was a big contender for that title, when he posted 160 times in just a few hours. And maybe from a cumulative perspective, that is the craziest full night he’s ever had on the internet while stuck on the toilet. It’s also possible we’re forgetting something really insane from Trump 1.0, like the night he hallucinated Obama’s WIRE TAPPS floating around in the toilet below his cacophonous asshole and America was never the same again.
But 160 times in three or five hours? Meet 487 words in one entirely bugfuck post.
Philip Bump sets up the flow of what happens over the course over those 487 words:
Oh, my absolute dear God.
For the sake of our sanity and yours, to hold on to reality and affirm that it still exists and matters, we’re going to quote and correct this lunatic fucking thing. It won’t take us long.
There has never been a President that has worked as hard as me!
No.
My hours are the longest,
Nope.
and my results are among the best.
LOL no.
I’ve stopped Eight Wars, saving many millions of lives in the process,
Stopped zero wars, and his administration has murdered millions of people in the process.
![Ssecretary Of WAR [Sic!] Pete Hegseth [Hic!] Struggling To Get Boat Murder Story Straight, Day Four](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!4q0L!,w_140,h_140,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef4affd5-d032-42cf-b76b-f7c1b2528599_1692x960.jpeg)
Ssecretary Of WAR [Sic!] Pete Hegseth [Hic!] Struggling To Get Boat Murder Story Straight, Day Four
created the Greatest Economy in the History of our Country,
Not according to the American people, who would like to talk about those old-fashioned, elegant hoax words “affordability” and “groceries.”
brought Business back into the United States at levels never seen before,
Hallucinations.
rebuilt our Military, created the Largest Tax Cuts and Regulation Cuts, EVER,
Eat my balls.
closed our open and very dangerous Southern Border, when previous Administrations were unable to do so,
Sure, Stupid Hitler.
and created an “aura” around the United States of America that has led every Country in the World to respect us more than ever before.
Oh, the things Stephen Miller tells the president when he’s placing him atop his bedpan each night.
In addition to all of that, I go out of my way to do long, thorough, and very boring Medical Examinations at the Great Walter Reed National Military Medical Center,
Boooooooring.
Also it’s just the Walter Reed, not the Great Walter Reed.
seen and supervised by top doctors, all of whom have given me PERFECT Marks — Some have even said they have never seen such Strong Results.
Doctors do not give “marks” for medical exams, nor do they compliment a patient’s “Strong Results,” unless they’re doing it in that “let’s praise the toddler for doing pee pee in the potty” kind of way.
I do these Tests because I owe it to our Country. In addition to the Medical, I have done something that no other President has done, on three separate occasions, the last one being recently, by taking what is known as a Cognitive Examination,
It’s known as a dementia test.
something which few people would be able to do very well,
Literally designed to be easy for any person who doesn’t have dementia. You draw a clock. You say which one is the camel. The doctor looks at the results to see if it’s all gone awry.
including those working at The New York Times,
Do they have dementia that’s actively encroaching on their ability to function? And who told Trump he was taking an IQ test? Was that Stephen Miller also? Or one of the children?
and I ACED all three of them
It’s like bragging that you didn’t shit your pants even once.
in front of large numbers of doctors and experts, most of whom I do not know.
Oh, now we’re supposed to be impressed that he didn’t get pee-shy during the dementia test, not even in front of people he doesn’t know?
And what kinds or experts, please? Experts on the drawing of clocks and picking out which one is “camel”?
I have been told that few people have been able to “ace” this Examination and, in fact, most do very poorly,
He has been lied to.
which is why many other Presidents have decided not to take it at all.
Many other presidents actually have never had it recommended to them at the Great Walter Reed that they take a dementia test. Reagan probably, yeah. We’re sure they gave Bubba STD panels.
Despite all of this, the time and work involved, The New York Times, and some others, like to pretend that I am “slowing up,” am maybe not as sharp as I once was, or am in poor physical health, knowing that it is not true, and knowing that I work very hard, probably harder than I have ever worked before.
Yes, despite all of this.
I will know when I am “slowing up,” but it’s not now! After all of the work I have done with Medical Exams, Cognitive Exams, and everything else, I actually believe it’s seditious, perhaps even treasonous, for The New York Times, and others, to consistently do FAKE reports in order to libel and demean “THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.”
It’s sedition or maybe treason to check in on whether Stupid Hitler’s obvious senility is affecting his ability to carry out the duties of his job.
Well, at least we know Jake Tapper’s not guilty.
They are true Enemies of the People, and we should do something about it.
Sure thing, Stupid Hitler. Let’s get back in bed and start working up our overnight Big Mac sharts, big buddy.
They have inaccurately reported on all of my Election Results and,
He lost the 2020 election by a fucking landslide, to Joe Biden. Is that the election result he’s upset about? Is it? IS IT?
in fact, were forced to apologize on much of what they wrote. The best thing that could happen to this Country would be if The New York Times would cease publication because they are a horrible, biased, and untruthful “source” of information. Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
LMAO, suck America’s entire dick.
You did it! And we did it! We made it to the end of the literal most insane thing he has ever posted!
Do you agree that this is the most insane thing he has ever posted, for its sheer breadth, and for all the reasons Philip Bump laid out in that skeet at the top? If not, why not?
Please show any other examples that you think are more insane to the large number of doctors and experts Donald Trump does not even know, at the Great Walter Reed Medical Center and Memory Care Facility.
You can bet your ass they’ve seen this one by now.
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This TrumpGPT model is showing exponential degradation with every query.
It takes a lot to faze Li'l Feller these days.
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