Tommy Tuberville Still Dumbass
The update you needed.
Last time we checked in with Tommy Tuberville, the Alabama bumfuck from Bumfuck, Alabama, by far the Senate’s most breathtakingly stupid human, his old balls were knotted up in confusion over whose job it was to do “advice and consent” on the president-elect’s nominees. Is that the Senate, like it says in the Constitution, or is it somebody else’s job, somebody mysterious who is definitely not Tommy Tuberville? He just ain’t know!
He’s not a very educated guy, y’all. His college degree is in PE, y’all. You see what we’re sayin’? Like, you know how Marsha Blackburn’s college degree is in home ec, and she is also a mighty dumbass? Well, Tommy Tuberville’s college degree is in PE. From a safety school in Arkansas. He’s a real dumbass.
When Tuberville said that shit in the middle of November, he was discussing what would become the first humiliating loss of a nomination for Donald Trump in his new lame-duck presidency, namely Matt Gaetz for attorney general.
Yesterday, Senator Coach Tubfuck was discussing with CNN what’s likely about to be Trump’s second humiliating loss of a nomination, Pete Hegseth for secretary of Defense, and would you believe Tubbity Bobbity Boo hasn’t learned one damn thing about the Senate in the ensuing weeks?
As he explained to CNN’s Manu Raju, Tommy Tuberville isn’t liking this suggestion that “we’re a better vetter and picker of people than Donald Trump.” Of course, everybody is a better vetter and picker of people than Donald Trump, but Tuberville’s fragile mind and heart can’t handle that kind of truth.
“Advice and consent,” Raju tried to explain to the escaped cattle in front of him.
“Advise and consent,” agreed Tuberville, saying it incorrectly, “but that’s more the Democrats,” he added, because, well, he’s a dumbass.
“But don’t you think both sides should do the vetting?” asked Raju, trying to helpfully help Tuberville pick his dick up out of his own team’s endzone.
“Well, you know, to some, some degree! I mean, but we have to be convinced.”
What?
“I mean, they should do all the background work, they should go after our nominees.”
What?
“I’ve not heard very little from the Left.”
Double negative dumbass say what?
“Donald Trump did all the vetting they needed to do on Pete Hegseth.”
Hahahahahahahahaha, sweet 70-year-old summer child dumbass.
Tuberville’s quote ended like this:
“And I just cain’t believe, we even have people on our side, they’re sayin’, ‘Well I’ve gotta look at this, gotta look at that.’ What they’re doin’ is they’re throwin’ rocks at Donald Trump, they’re not throwin’ ‘em at Pete Hegseth. They’re throwin’ ‘em at Donald Trump. Because they’re sayin’ well we don’t believe you did the right vetting and we don’t believe he can do the job.
“Well wait a minute, that’s not our job to do that, that’s the Democrats.”
This is an actual sitting senator from an actual state. And we guarantee he has no idea why anybody would hear and read this with their jaws on the floor, marveling at how little this moron knows about the government of the country where the low-information voters of Alabama decided to let him be the senator.
We’d suggest Tuberville has a head injury from all the foo-baw he’s played, but we reckon there’s just as good a chance he came into this world a dumbass and will leave this world a dumbass, and we don’t wanna give nobody false hope this dumbass’s brain might be fixable.
Dumbass.
[video via Aaron Rupar]
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If ever there was a better example of Republicans in the thrall of a cult leader, this total abdication of responsibility hits the nail squarely on the head. They have absolutely no will to do even the bare minimum of what is supposed to be their job. Bunch of alpha males right there 🙄
I know his name is pronounced like tub Tuberville.
But to me he will always be tube Tuberville.
On account of he is a potato.