Trump Dumped Nvidia Stock Before Its Horned-Up CEO Got Busted With Chinese Honeypot

Probably a coincidence.

Wrong kind of honeypot, Winnie.

Remember in Ross Douthat’s interview of Donald Trump on last week’s 60 Minutes when our giant bediapered president swore that one of his sons “watches over” his money, he barely looks at it, he guesses his net worth has grown since he’s returned to office (we’ll say!), but he is just a smol bean, your modern math frightens and confuses him, and so on and so forth?

Yeah, about that.

First, which of his idiot failsons would Trump trust to manage his money with no oversight from him? Don Jr. doesn’t have the brains that God gave the humble potato. Eric has even fewer brains than that. Barron is still in college, so even if he happened to be some sort of financial savant who is already managing hedge funds — which as far as we know he very much is not — Trump isn’t going to hand his ill-gotten fortune over to a 20-year-old, at least not without keeping him on a leash shorter than a yo-yo.

No, you know Trump watches that shit like the proverbial hawk. He’s too egotistical not to want to know his net worth every minute, so he can compare it against everyone in his orbit.

This is all to say that we do not for one second believe this is a coincidence:

Trump reportedly had gotten at least two briefings on where and in whom Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang had been putting his wiener when his wife wasn’t around. He had been briefed on the fact that US intelligence thought Huang’s mistress, Alice Huang (no relation, thank God, because that would be too much even for our current ridiculous era), was a honeypot of a Chinese spy who was using her access to Huang to steer his company’s highly prized AI chips to China. Which would be illegal, thanks to US export controls on those chips.

Trump was warned about Huang and Huang by the intelligence community sometime last year. He was allegedly warned by Marco Rubio this past spring that Jensen Huang might be compromised. A president who takes national security seriously and is in any way competent would have leapt into action to do something.

So did Trump leap into action? Did he warn Jensen Huang, whose number he probably has on speed dial, that his penis might be a national security risk? It appears he did not.

What he did do three months ago, back when the Times was sniffing around this story, was sell $1 million worth of his own shares in Nvidia, right before the scandal broke and the stock’s value plunged.

The NVIDIA Guy, Great Men In History, And The Women Forced To Endure Them

Now, could this be a coincidence? Sure. Do we think it’s a coincidence? Not on your life. It may only be $1 million out of a fortune estimated to have grown by $3 billion in the last two years, but Trump is a legendary skinflint when it comes to his own money. (Other people’s money, like that of taxpayers, he’ll waste like it is his birthright.)

If Trump really did trade on insider knowledge to dump Nvidia stock just before the scandal broke and the price collapsed, that would be a presidency-ending scandal. Or at least it would be presidency-ending for any other president. For Donald Trump, it’s Tuesday. Afternoon. Between three and four o’clock.

Meanwhile, Trump defenders are falling all over themselves claiming that we don’t know if Alice Huang is even a spy, or an asset, or a convenient patsy, or just a fantastic piece of ass, or what. Attorney General Todd Blanche in a press conference on Thursday downplayed the possibility:

He sounds like Nathan Thurm. I’m not saying Alice Huang is a spy. You’re the one saying Alice Huang is a spy. I’m not being defensive about this, you’re the one being defensive.

CNN reported on Thursday night that the intelligence community can’t say for sure what Huang’s relationship to the Chinese government is, whether she’s an agent of state security or an asset or a useful idiot. Whatever the nature of the relationship, though, she was clearly a security risk that the FBI had been looking into for the last year. And yet no one in that time appears to have warned Jensen Huang or given him a defensive briefing or simply yanked him aside and said Man, what are you doing? Tuck your dong back into your pants and stop putting it inside of shady foreigners with shady connections to governments that are hostile to the United States.

As Marcy Wheeler points out at emptywheel, this CNN story gives the tech dorks close to Trump who think AI is super-awesome something to point to and say Donald Trump is innocent, our big wet boy is still the bestest president, someone in the Deep State leaked something to make him look bad, that’s what should be investigated.

Like OJ, David Sacks is determined to find the real criminals.

Meanwhile, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent is out there on TV tossing Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick under the horny bus over the whole scandal. Then he’s backing the bus up and rolling over Lutnick again, slowly, so the latter doesn’t miss a single second of his bones and internal organs being liquefied by the tires. As the Washington Post pointed out, other Cabinet departments have wanted to blacklist Alice Huang and her company, Megaspeed, for months. Lutnick, for some reason, has been resisting.

Okay wait, there might be a good reason: Lutnick’s former company, Cantor Fitzgerald, which is now run by his large sons, has large investments in Nvidia. So there’s that:

[S]everal administration officials confronted Lutnick in the White House Situation Room last week, demanding he push through the restrictions on Megaspeed. When Lutnick argued that such a move could antagonize China, according to the report, they took the debate to the Oval Office, where President Donald Trump agreed for a third time that it should happen.

And even after that, Nutlick was reportedly still resisting. Still, the White House was telling reporters that Trump still has “complete confidence“ in Lutnick. Which is what officials always say right before someone gets canned.

Of course Nutlick is a man and Trump has famously only fired women from his administration so far. But someone has to be first, so why not this mouthy bearded freak?

Nutlick and Jensen Huang have now agreed to testify before Congress in December about the whole scandal. You know it’s bad because Republicans are the ones who summoned the two men.

At least Huang has plenty of time on his hands, having resigned from Nvidia on Thursday. If we’re all very lucky, Howard Lutnick will have a similar situation by December.

[CNN]

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