Here’s a hilarious foreign policy failure story about Donald Trump, as he and other world leaders descend upon the United Nations general assembly in New York. No, we’re not talking about the one where Denmark handed Trump a copy of the 1951 deal over Greenland that already exists, added a couple meaningless phrases to make it look “new,” and told him he had “negotiated” it. But that’s pretty funny too!
Is it the thing where his nurses or handlers or fluffers tell him he’s ended eight wars and he repeats it in public, which is humiliating for everyone, because he’s ended no wars? Well, he did repeat that yesterday while he was babbling next to Zohran Mamdani, mooching off Mamdani’s camera time because the press pool is currently boycotting Trump. It was very embarrassing as usual.
But no, Trump managed another foreign policy humiliation yesterday, in record time too. Oh boy, this is embarrassing.
Trump announced yesterday morning that the “United States” was “working on” a “massive Deal” to buy “Potash” from “Belarus.” This was his latest attempt to tell Canada that he ain’t need you no more!
Big if true!
Also big money laundering to Russia to secretly help Putin with his Ukraine war, or for whatever other purposes Trump might want to secretly pay Putin! (We can imagine about a thousand reasons, including whatever he personally owes the Russian government for election-stealing assistance. For a good State Of The Russia address, click here. It’s not going swell for them.)
Why would we assume that, besides how it’s a pretty safe assumption that anytime Trump farts in the general direction of that region of the world, he’s probably doing it to serve Putin? Well, because Alexander Lukashenko, the leader of Belarus, is widely known as “Europe’s last dictator,” and for being a wholly owned subsidiary of Vladimir Putin. He’s the one who wishes the old Soviet Union was back together, that they could all just make Russia great again together. You know, unlike his other former Soviet republic neighbors in Lithuania and Latvia and, of course, Ukraine, which are good countries. (Belarus’s other neighbor Poland is also a cool place.)
But anyway, spoiler, it wasn’t true. Donald Trump is not doing a deal to buy Miracle-Gro or mulch or birdseed or pool noodles or anything else from Belarus, because Belarus ain’t got no Miracle-Gro or mulch or birdseed or pool noodles to sell him.
This is so sad.
Lukashenko just happened to say out loud yesterday that he is sorry, but he has no fertilizer (potash) for Trump or anybody else:
“Even if we wanted to supply [potash] to other, Western markets, we simply do not have those volumes — everything is contracted,” Lukashenko said in remarks published by his office on Monday.
Double burn. He doesn’t have any fertilizer to sell Trump, even if he wanted to. Which means he doesn’t want to.
As The Hill explains, Canada is basically the world’s potash dealer, and 53 percent of its exports go to Trump’s US America, WHICH DOESN’T NEED ANYTHING FROM CANADA, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Except for how, from the US’s perspective, that 53 percent of Canada’s potash exports amounts to fully 80 percent of what’s used on US American farms.
So no. There is no “very good news for our Farmers and Ranchers,” not about fertilizer, not about anything else.
You know, like formerly Trump-supporting farmer Matt Bell in North Carolina who has seen his diesel costs double, and who because of Trump’s tariffs has also seen all his other costs go up: “Everything we're touching, the fertilizer, fuel, chemicals, seed, parts — you know, the whole nine yards, everything that we touch has gone up.” He added, “We were sold a bill of goods that agriculture was going to be on the forefront … and there was going to be some policy that would put America’s farmers and ranchers first. And right now, that has not happened.”
Also: “We're just getting to the point now there's nothing left to cut. You cannot run without fuel. You cannot run without fertilizer. You have to have that."
But has anybody explained to that guy that Trump eliminated transgender for everybody, and that America is the hottest country in the world now?
Anyway, point is, Natalie probably printed out some AI slop of Alexander Lukashenko opening up his underpants for Trump and all the Miracle-Gro falling out, and he thought it was a real video.
But it wasn’t. Because he ain’t got no Miracle-Gro.
Would Donald Trump like to work on a massive deal with respect to the purchase of beetroot-based soups from Belarus? They have some of that. It’s probably better in Lithuania or Poland, because everything is, but they have some beet soup in Belarus.
No fertilizer.
Launder your blood money to Putin a different way, Donald. We’re sure your crime family will figure out something.
[The Hill]
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Hoo boy...
“We were sold a bill of goods... that has not happened.”
There's your summation of how your Trump vote actually worked out for you, idiot. Do you think he's learned anything from the experience?
I am curious what it was they thought Trump would do, which specific policy, that would have made agriculture so much better.