Trump Knows Who Has A Hotter Body Than Joe Biden, It Is Himself
Serious presidential talk.
Donald Trump is responding to the Hamas attacks on Israel, and the declaration of war by Benjamin Netanyahu, by saying that “many reports are saying [it] came from the Biden administration,” and that “THE HORRIBLE ATTACK ON ISRAEL, MUCH LIKE THE ATTACK ON UKRAINE, WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED IF I WERE PRESIDENT – ZERO CHANCE!” (The first is from his official statement, the second is from his toddler meat paws tweeting on his fake Twitter.)
RNC Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel blamed Joe Biden and attacked him as “weak.” Republican Senators Tim Scott and Rick Scott are literally saying Biden funded the Hamas attack, and even Fox News is calling bullshit on that clownfucking lie.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump said this weekend of Joe Biden that “I have a much better body than him” and that “he’d go down” if he and Biden got into a physical fight.
This is what Trump was discussing at his rally in Iowa on Saturday. You know, Trump, the serious presidential alternative to Biden.
He also said at the rally that what’s happening in Israel wouldn’t happen with him in office, nor Ukraine, and also not “Taiwan and all this tough talk with Taiwan.”
Of course, he’s too stupid/lazy to learn the conspiracy theory Republicans like the senators Scott are spreading about Joe Biden and Hamas and Iran, bungling the story by telling the crowd that “two weeks ago we gave them six million dollars.” (It’s supposed to be $6 billion, money the Biden administration unfroze in August as part of the hostage exchange deal. In Trump’s decomposing brain, we “gave them six million dollars.”)
Here’s the bit about how Trump has a better body than Biden, but says he’s not sure he would “wanna expose it with the sun blaring down, the sand, the surf, the wind, you know, I mean, you know, it’s not a pretty sight.” The crowd cheered for Donald Trump’s hot body.
Yes, that’s the serious guy who would be preventing all the wars right now, were he president.
The rest of the rally featured the same dementia babbling we’ve gotten used to, including many of the same exact lies he tells over and over and over, verbatim and ad nauseam. We guess his followers think it’s cute when senile old fascist grandpa starts talking about how you have to have an ID to buy bread.
Trump told a “sir” story about how the leaders of China called him “sir” but they don’t call Joe Biden “sir.” As we all know, when Trump says somebody calls him “sir,” they usually also are strong men with big muscles and tears in their eyes, and the story is 100 percent hallucinatory bullshit.
And he told the evil lie he’s been telling forever about how it’s the Democrats’ position on abortion that “If it’s after the ninth month and the baby is born you put the baby aside. You discuss with the mother and if the mother doesn’t want the baby we execute the baby. This is part of their thing.” It’s remarkable if you click that link and see the exact words Trump used four years ago and compare them to today. It’s a window into the closed-circuit loop his broken brain really is.
Yep, that’s the serious guy, the presidential one.
Also the one who calls for the execution of the recently retired chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. (By the way, Nikki Haley said this weekend when asked that Trump’s comments about Mark Milley weren’t necessarily disqualifying, merely “irresponsible.” You betcha.)
All the same guy.
We’re sure the media will get around to reporting on how unacceptable this is sometime between now and November of next year.
[videos via Ron Filipkowski / h/t JoeMyGod]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
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I'd make a joke about his mom also telling him he's the prettiest, except nah, I don't think even his mother cared enough to stroke his needy, needy ego. What a damaged fucking loser he is.
I’m bone tired. He needs to stop being covered in the media like he’s a normal presidential candidate. He’s not. He’s a walking id. A national security nightmare swathed in Depends, hopped up on Adderall, slathered in cheap bronzer, and topped off with the same horrifyingly ugly hairstyle he’s had for over 50 years. He’s not normal. The world is a seriously fucked up place right now and it’s not made any better with this evil, extravagantly stupid piece of shit shambling around trying to literally wrest the steering wheel back in the car he almost crashed into a brick wall last time. His candidacy is, without exaggeration, an existential threat to not just the country, but the whole fucking world, and treating it like it’s not, is just, well, to quote another pos, “irresponsible.”