Trump Lawyer Idiot Uncovers Election Interference Conspiracy, It Is Called 'Headlines'
Trump Lawyer Idiot Uncovers Election Interference Conspiracy, It Is Called 'Headlines'
Things that happen have a well-known liberal bias.
Here’s another funny chew toy to play with while we wait for Special Counsel Jack Smith to start bringing more pain to Donald Trump, continuing the Lord’s work of making sure that when Trump dies, the last thing he sees is the non-golden unflushable potty in his prison cell.
Eric Trump was on Newsmax with guest host GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz last night. So was stupid Trump idiot lawyer Alina Habba. (She’s REALLY stupid. Very Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe’s sister Ursula energy from this one.)
Habba has uncovered a conspiracy theory, and it is called headlines in the newspaper. Did you know that every time there is something bad about to happen with Joe Biden, then the newspapers do “election interference” by making a headline to distract from the bad thing? They just write about a thing that’s happening! All to hurt Trump.
Like we said, stupid. Or at least she plays stupid very convincingly for Trump’s target market, which is stupid people. (Video and transcript below.)
“Every headline that comes out in media — I don’t even know if I would recognize the Daily Beast as a valuable media source — but the Daily Beast, you know, they come out with these leaks and, you know, I read a little bit more reputable newspapers, but listen, they come out with this for a reason, and everything is done in specific timing. Headlines are done for election interference. Watch.
“We know that Hunter’s associate was supposed to come out and testify on Monday, I heard now he may not be doing so, but watch, they’ll come after Trump again around the same time so that, again, they say, ‘Look at the shiny ball, guys. Don’t look over here. We don’t want you to see it. We wanna give you another headline.’”
First, she makes cracks about the Daily Beast, which is reporting that clownbonkers former NYPD chief Bernie Kerik, who is super close with Rudy Giuliani, and who worked to investigate Trump’s hallucinations about stuffed ballot boxes and so forth, has turned over thousands of pages of documents to the special counsel. Can we even believe the Daily Beast, with its direct quotes from Kerik’s lawyer Timothy Parlatore, who used to be one of Trump’s lawyers before he noped out?
Golly we just don’t know.
But Habba is pretty sure that regardless of the veracity of the story, “headlines are done for election interference.” So if the Daily Beast is writing that headline, that’s why. Could it also be because it happened? Pfffft, asking that question is another election interference.
Like the joke lawyer she is, she truly and utterly fails to even try to argue her case. She just mutters some words about Hunter Biden, and then says JUST YOU WATCH, the media will do “election interference” again and say “We wanna give you another headline.” You know, to distract you from the real truth, which is Hunter Biden!
OK, halfwit.
At another moment in the interview, Gaetz and Habba worked together to be genuinely confused how Fulton County DA Fani Willis could possibly charge Trump with “racketeering” in Georgia, as it’s reported she’s likely to do.
“That’s not something people typically think about in the political lens,” said Gaetz about racketeering. Habba responded with an entirely straight face:
“I don’t know, because when I think of racketeering, and it’s funny, somebody mentioned this to me the other day, they said racketeering is what they do for mobs! You know, that racketeering is an old school, old world thing. You don’t associate that with a president.”
First of all, LMAO. Literally everybody who knows anything about Trump thinks of him as a particularly low-rent mob boss. It’s something Michael Cohen has testified at length about, how that’s exactly how Trump operates.
Here’s the thing, though. Habba is not incorrect that it might be a hair confusing to figure out how “racketeering” works in the Georgia, ahem, election interference investigation, if you’re using the traditional definition of “racketeering.” But — again, this is where if Habba was a competent lawyer and not just a broken set of Dollar Tree windchimes, it could help her and her client out — from the beginning of the Georgia investigation it’s been explained that Georgia’s state racketeering law has a broader definition than what people normally think when they hear the word.
Could Habba have looked that up in one of her fancy law books?
SHE COULD HAVE LOOKED IT UP ON FUCKING WONKETTE.
Trump Might Be More F*cked In Georgia Than We Knew
Of course, again, to be fair, it’s always possible Alina Habba is pretending to be this stupid, for the sake of the rubes.
In related Trump investigation news, Special Counsel Jack Smith is reportedly really interested in a February 2020 meeting where Trump just positively gushed over how secure American elections were.
You know, speaking of people understanding things and then pretending not to understand them at a later date when pleading ignorance becomes more useful.
[JoeMyGod]
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Ta, Evan.
She agreed to become Trump's lawyer even though so many of his previous lawyers have either not been paid, have lost their ability to practice law, or have gone to jail, or all of the above. How much more stupider can you get?
At least a jailhouse lawyer gets paid in soups, and doesn't have to worry about going to jail.