Trump Pick For Defense Is Weekend Fox News Guy Who Looks Like Pepé Le Pew Drag Impersonator
Neat.
When Donald Trump made his announcement that he HEREBY DEMANDS a Senate majority leader who will allow him to make recess appointments — thereby skipping the confirmation process entirely, and basically letting Trump choose Russian spies for his Cabinet if he wants, without any oversight, not that the incoming Republican Senate wouldn’t have allowed that — people correctly noted this was an attempt at a dictator move, Trump trying to consolidate power for himself. L'État, c'est moi, etc.
But we should not discount the possibility that part of the reason Trump doesn’t want confirmation hearings is because he’s nominating such barkfucking dumbasses for his Cabinet that he doesn’t want America or the Senate to see and laugh at them.
Hello, Secretary of Defense nominee Pete Hegseth, AKA Fox News weekend host Pete Hegseth, AKA guy who looks like he just won a Pepé Le Pew drag contest Pete Hegseth, AKA guy who thinks washing his hands is a conspiracy Pete Hegseth.
No really, stop laughing.
Just kidding, you can laugh.
In response to the nomination, a lot of Republican senators said “Who?” (Bill Cassidy) and “Wow” (Lisa Murkowski) and (“Really? I’d have to think about it” (dumbest senator in US history Tommy Tuberville, who will absolutely cave for this nomination).
Elizabeth Warren said meanwhile that “A Fox & Friends weekend co-host is not qualified to be the Secretary of Defense,” like some kind of woke lib who thinks you can’t find your Cabinet by sitting on the toilet on Saturday mornings watching Fox. Other Democrats are similarly horrified.
And as it happens, “woke” is Hegseth’s obsessive fuck-chicken. Hegseth is a veteran who came back to America to promptly get brainwashed into the right-wing fever fantasy that everything MANLY is being ruined by “woke.” The military, the artist formerly known as the Boy Scouts, everything.
Hegseth is a really weird conservative Christian type, the kind whose identity is very wrapped up in feeling threatened by the spiritual warfare the Devil is waging on Good Christian Patriarchal Families like his own. (Obviously his own personal story involves a lot of adultery, because he’s That Guy.)
Comically, Hegseth wrote an entire book on the “betrayal” of our men in uniform, and how they were tricked into “going woke.” He was in the Army himself (he’d be upset if we didn’t mention) and he’s very, very, very triggered by things like this.
Know who really loves Hegseth? Those gross, performatively bearded “TheoBros,” the fascist white Christian man movement that also happens to idolize JD Vance. You know, in case you want to understand exactly who’s getting their anus tickled with this nomination.
Got an extra two hours? Here’s Hegseth with one of the TheoBros circle-jerking on the “Reformation Red Pill” podcast about “the desperate need for Christians to ensure that their children receive a Christian education.” We’re sure it’s a delight. Here he is saying he doesn’t believe women should be in combat.
Here’s Hegseth just yesterday on Fox Business, reacting to Trump’s plan to pull out of the Paris Climate deal (again), saying that the “adults are back, and our enemies are taking notice.” Hahahahahahahahaha, OK, bud.
We guarantee this selection is eliciting uncontrollable laughing in militaries and governments around the globe right now.
But then again, Donald Trump despises the military and thinks people who give their lives for this country or are grievously injured in war are suckers and losers. Nominating Pete Hegseth as secretary of Defense is just a demonstration of that belief.
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If there's a DOD scandal, no one will ever say that the SecDef himself kept his hands clean.
People saying Elon and Vivek will have to divest their financial interests or risk violating conflict of interest laws is so damn funny. Have these people learned NOTHING?!?!